Guess I am crossing a boundary
So...DH has been on his job for over 25 years. Unlike myself and other working class adults he hasn't had the unfortunate pleasure of job hunting. I am going somewhere here, so bare with me.
Oldest SK sent DH a text asking if his job was hiring for the summer. Which is weird because DH told me SK had a summer job. When I asked DH he said that is what SK told him. Ok no big deal things happen.
I said to DH, yes look, BUT tell SK to get online and start a profile and submit a resume. Also tell SK to get job alerts. Even if all the summer jobs might be filled you never know what will happen during the fall/winter.
DH basically snapped my head off and in so many words was letting me know that was his job and his kid. So with that being said I am even further disengaging. I will not make suggestions nor offer help. And if if my help is needed I may play dumb.
Big sigh!
I feel better now that I vented!
Didnt you know?
Everything we do is wrong. And, if by chance we do something right, why didnt we do more and do it earlier? Lol.
But,,,
It was right that one time and we were told that time we should do it more often. Then when we do it again it's wrong.
Yep.
Yep
Thats why I call myself the "step -aside", because we are good for paying for things and we are good for helping when necessary, and we are good for maintaining the home, but when things get real we must step aside, and keep our traps shut.
I JUST had a situation last night. I blogged on it. Was told basically "whats it to you?" When I remarked that SD14 was on her phone a lot watching videos. With attitude all night.
I am beyond caring at this point. Its been a gradual slide.
SD21, Feral Forger, STILL has no drivers license, hasnt had a job in almost a year, lives with her mother and doesnt contribute anything, not even helping out with cleaning. So glad that shes not with us. I told DH that I will not be living with her ever again.
yes dont even bother with
yes dont even bother with helping out with the job search or anything ,, and when DH whines that his brat isnt working,,, oh well not your problem. my ex-SS13 started high school at the beginning of the year, my DH and the BM hadnt even purchased him a Macbook that is a requirement for school the day before high school started,,, i stupidly went out of my way and left work early to go a purchase one ,, then spent the evening downloading all the software for the brat just so he was organised for his first day in high school!!! WTF did i do this for ??? i should have left this to the bio parents to do cos it just backfired on me anyway with my DH getting all moody that i was 'taking over'!! UM OK if i didnt do it , no one would have .....thats where i should have left it and let the school contact the bio parents and question why the brat isnt prepared for his first day when they had 8 weeks of holidays to prepare. My advice to you,,, dont even mention or do anything regading your SK,,, nothing at all! let them all fned for themselves , its not worth the critisizm you will recieve from trying to be the efficient parent
IMHO this is exactly the
IMHO this is exactly the situation where the SParent has to remove all financial support for anything to do with the Skids. If your partner is that much of an ass and BM is so useless that they don't recognize how critical your resources and time investment is... let them all rot in the stench of their idiocy. Separate all finances, contribute absolutely nothing to the household. After all, DH is supposed to be the man who provides. Force the issue. Rub his nose in his failure as a man, husband and father and keep the stench of BM's related failures front and center.
When shit comes crashing down around DH's ears, the Skid is unable to function because daddy is a moron, then just ask "So, how is this all working out for everyone. I'm fine. I will not bail you out or alleviate the consequences of your failures in any way. Gotto go to work. Have fun!"
smh
I feel that even if we are
I feel that even if we are disengaged, we are still allowed to have an opinion on the SKID's life and/or behaviour and voice it if we choose, without getting slapped down.
You’re allowed an opinion
If it is the same as the bios opinion.
DH has never been like that
DH has never been like that when I tried to help his daughter, he has asked me to, at times.
Like when I printed out a list of agencies that would help her get a job, teach her how to get through an interview, etc. According to SD, BM saw it and threw it in the trash, saying that SD didn't need any of that.
No, because BM has never wanted SD to become independent.
I no longer care what SD29 does or doesn't do. Except for the fact that she lives off of tax dollars, for no good reason other than she is lazy.
Taxpayer funded support
Taxpayer funded support should go only to those who are developmentally or physically incapable of providing for themselves. Not one penny should go to the villfully lazy who are capable but unwilling to provide for themselves. Hunger, cold and misery are great motivators and teaching tools. We need to make sure these pathetic losers live their hunger, cold and miserable lives to the fullest level required to force their heads out of their own asses.
IMHO of course.
I no longer offer any help or
I no longer offer any help or opinions on SD. My SO knows I think SD is lazy, rude, inconsiderate, entitled and nuts. I don't ask about her or bring her up at all. I told him he is fine to talk about her and I will listen to offer support for his feelings, but I don't offer 'advice' on SD's life at all. I have also told SO specifically that any SD complaints related to me, or my home, are off limits for him to discuss with me since I've disengaged from SD and those are the topics that I have sensitivity around. But other than that I just listen and let him vent (or on rare occasion - share his joy) about his seperate relationship with SD.