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Gifts from Ex-Wife

Joanne-ESM's picture

Submitted by Joanne-ESM on Fri, 03/25/2011 - 7:08pm

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I am just thrilled to find such a website!!!

I love my DH very much, he claims to be a 'control freak', but when it comes to his Ex,he is putty. I have one SS(15) and SD(9-adopted - special needs), who I love dearly and we have full-custody (though he pays her money every month ;-(. The problem is the house is a clutter (I am a self-confessed clean freak.) The kids have so many toys, etc... there are boxes and boxes of toys/games, etc...that never get touched. These boxes have beenin the basement/garage for 2 years untouched, yet I can not even suggest giving them away. So I asked that when the children are given gifts at their mom's house, that those toys stay there. In the past some of theitems brought home were dirty and disgusting, I burned them. Well the Ex complained about this to my DH and now I'm supposed to let the kids bring stuff home from her house because they are gifts from their mom and this is their home. I would love your input.

Note: I have heard the horror stories of what a pig sty the house was with her in charge and what a pig sty her current home is.

Roseybird's picture

Submitted by Roseybird on Fri, 05/06/2011 - 10:03am

OMG! Toys that they haven't touched in YEARS!!! I am a self-confessed clean freak too! Smile And I wouldn't tolerate all the clutter in my house.

My suggestion would be to talk to step children and suggest some of the toys that will be going over to BM's house. Pack them up, and send them with them when they go. Suggest to BM that they stay there as you have no more room for them. If she doesn't agree, let her know that you will be donating those toys to Toys for Toddlers/Kids and if she wanted them, she should keep them.

doll faced sm's picture

Submitted by doll faced sm on Fri, 05/06/2011 - 10:22am

If you've heard horror stories, I can only imagine that it's DH who is telling them. The next time he brings it up, explain to him that your house is headed in the same direction if you can't get rid of some of the crap . . . I mean, toys. It's a simple matter of available space vs. space taken up by toys. Offer even to let the kids decide which ones stay and which go, but set a ratio of some sort (i.e. for each one that stays, two *must* go). Repeat this process every six months or so; the ratio doesn't have to be the same each time. What I found (and what your DH will probably find) is that *he* is the one wanting to hold onto a lot of this stuff; the kids couldn't care less. Also, agree upon a *reasonable* number for items and then institute a new household policy: for each item that enters your home, another must leave if it is above the agreed upon number. This goes for clothes, toys, shoes, etc.