Full of shit- whats new??? Now what?
FDH and sd15 had their own little dinner date and he promised me he would talk to sd15 about NEVER putting him on the spot and asking him to take a pic with XW. He said HE felt uncomfortable and he would talk to her about it. I asked him if he brought it up- NOPE!!!! Big shocker- he said he just wanted to enjoy his time with her and not have to talk about issues since he doesn't ever get to spend time with her, he doesnt want to spend the time he does have with her talking about the stuff that needs to get hashed out and dealt with.
I understand what he is saying but I'm super frustrated. THATS WHY NOTHING EVER CHANGES OR GETS DEALT WITH- now 2 weeks later after the "big" dramatic family picture and it still hasn't been talked about. :?
Now what???? It's probley just going to get swept under the rug like everything else and my anger and resentment towards them is going to continue to build until I explode.....again
Why don't you get a copy of
Why don't you get a copy of that lovely "family" picture and when ever he wants to get "frisky" hand it to him and tell him what a turn off that pix and his actions are.
I would if I could! I would
I would if I could! I would blow it up and and hang it just to be a bitch. Problem is, SD15 is the only one who has it on her phone
She has a code on it! I've
She has a code on it! I've tried being snoopy before! }:) and it's physically attached to her hand
Ya know, I had to harp and
Ya know, I had to harp and harp and harp on my DH to get him to address certain things with SS13. It's not fun to nag your DH - especially about something so sensitive as his parenting and the way it effects his child.
I think what helped me the most was to try and present it in a non-threatening way and give parallel examples that I may have had to deal with with my kids and/or how if I handled things a certain way (similar to the way DH was handling things) what type of message I am sending and what the child ultimately learns from the interaction.
It's hard though because it is such an emotionally charged topic for all.
I'm so sick of talking until
I'm so sick of talking until I'm blue in the face- I hate nagging. I give examples and he's all on board and agree's and I think we are on the same page until he see's her- EVERYTHING changes. He even agree's in therapy and doesn't follow through. Sickening
I haven't read your story so
I haven't read your story so perhaps there is something really dramatic that I'm missing but honestly, let the kids have a few pics of themselves and their biological parents. They aren't going to get back together because of a picture and it'll mean a lot to the kids. Plus, it makes you look like the bigger person.
Just my opinion.
BM was a one night stand for
BM was a one night stand for DH (before we got together). DH didn't come into SS life until he was 18 months. Long story I'll skip for now. So the first time DH and I saw met SS, BM and her mother came over she took pictures of the 3 of them like a big happy family. It pissed me off. Because they were never a couple. Needless to say I've gotton over it. I do know that SS is intitle to pictures of his parents. Just cause their in a picture doesn't mean they'll ever get together. Sometimes no matter how it makes us feel, we just need to go along. In saying all that DH hates her now and would probably never do it again. LOL
I'm kinda thinking he
I'm kinda thinking he shouldn't talk to her about it. If he does, she (and then of course BM) will know it was a big deal to you and it bothered you. Isn't that something you want to avoid? Instead, train DH how to respond if it happens again.
I personally wouldn't want them to think I was bothered...it makes you sound insecure (I'm not saying you are...I wouldn't like DH taking photos with BM either).
SD15 will be 16 in 1 month
SD15 will be 16 in 1 month and she can't get over the fact that her parents are divorced (7 years now) and made a huge awkward scene. I don't like it, never will. She got her picture, its done and I'm still pissed. I know heywill never get back together it's just feeding into her "dream" of her parents reuniting and getting me out and making me feel like the outsider. She does a great job of doing that. I think it's rude. When you are divorced esp when the kid is damn near 16- you don't need to do things like that unless it's a special occasion such as a wedding- which I still wouldn't like but it's more understandable
OK, I get it now. I wouldn't
OK, I get it now. I wouldn't like feeling like the third wheel either. Maybe next time DH can pull you into the photo, too? Maybe SD would get the idea that you are not a third wheel and will always be included...so if she wants a photo of her parents, you will be in it, too?
She started bawling and said
She started bawling and said she has been waiting for this for a long time- she made a huge awkward scene- it's not my imagination
Exactly!!!!
Exactly!!!!