First fathers day!!!!
Okay so this isnt so much about the skids..as it is about my bf's mother!!! she is around ALL THE TIME. she takes the kids twice a week and then eats dinner with us twice as week. she has really been helping since his divorce and all throughout my bf's life- it has been just him and his mom..so yes, he's grown up being a momma's boy!! So i figured on fathers day me, my bf and the skids could go swimming or to the park, or something of that sort..but what does mil do?? ASKS US TO COME OUT THERE FOR THE DAY. I'm so sick of her always being around! I got in a relationship with my bf and his kids- I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR HIS MOM!! Well when i tell him i would like him to go to his moms for lunch (while i go with my dad for a bit)...then he can come back into town so us FOUR can hang out- he assumes i dont want to go to his moms...or that i dont like her. thats not it- im just sick of her always being around! She spoils the kids- buys them WHATEVER they want...feeds them junk food- fast food- candy..whatever they ask. they gma's around all the kids do is hang on her..because they know they can get away with it with gma. Maybe its because i dont talk to my own mother is why I'm so bitter- but come on, do we REALLY need to spend 2 days a week with her PLUS fathers day? isnt that just about my bf? Dont get me wrong- i love her, and she is a wonderful lady...but I think its time for my bf to have his OWN family..and break lose from her leash...opinions?
I'd say that Father's Day
I'd say that Father's Day should be about the kids and their dad. It seems kinda overbearing for his mom to be around him and you and the kids on Father's Day. Really odd..
deep breath. Calm down. Count
deep breath. Calm down. Count to ten. Smoke a cigarette. LOL.. sounds like my mother. What you need to do is establish boundaries - in a clear, pleasant conversation. It will take a while. She needs time to transition and realize that DH now has you to help him; you can help her do that. Be calm, all will be well. I am 22, H is 26 - we are both young and in college and custodial parents. My mother is VERY "helpful" and we are still working on boundaries... We live very close to both our parents because it is very nice and has really saved us to have family so close, BUT my mother used to walk into our house at 9AM without ringing or knocking, would start cleaning my kitchen, demand that i hop in the shower, tell me that i looked awful and need to put some make up on because "i am a married young lady now". LOL looking back it is very funny, at the time though, i was FURIOUS. We had to make it clear that any time before noon is not OK. We had to make it clear that she needed to ring or knock. Some things that seem like a DUH! to you arent so clear to a "helpful" mother. She recently called to give me specific directions as to how i should rearrange my furniture and then proceeded to call me every day for three days asking if i had done it yet and if i needed help. LOL! Just breathe, like i said, it will take awhile.
Hang in there, its early days. Good luck.
I feel ya...my MIL is so "up
I feel ya...my MIL is so "up the butt" of DH's situation with BM and SS because it was nothing more than a drunken fling that caused SS in the first place, and for many reasons after that, DH and BM dont really speak and the restraining orders included DH's parents as the ones designated to handle pickups and dropoffs (DH's dad died 3yrs ago). So yes, in the beginning, MIL while very well-intended, was around WAY too much for my liking! And when they came to p/u or d/o, they never left! They did the same...stay for dinner etc. Drove me nuts.
I would tell my DH how I "dont want to see my OWN family as often as she comes over!" And it's not because I dislike her, it's because I just want to be in my own family now. I told him more than once it is TIME TO CUT THE CORD! But DH has forever loved "being the kid" and his mother apparently needs to be needed. I was SO PISSED when she showed up on MOTHERS DAY for my daughter's soccer game because that's where DH was! This woman gets on my nerves just by being around too much...then I feel guilty because I know she doesnt mean any harm.
DH finally got it, that I just dont want people over all the time. It makes me feel invaded. I'm hardly ever home as it is, I work full time and my kids are involved in a ton of stuff, so when I finally get alone time at home, the last thing I need is company, or having to worry about cleaning the house for company tomorrow! I think a lot of it stems from feeling invaded by SS visits in the beginning, like our family was being disrupted all the time, and I just savor the small amount of time that DH and I get alone or with our 2 daughters.
If you can get your DH to understand where you're coming from without getting all offended and defensive...then he can run interference with his mother and try to divide it up more.