Finally had it and its over!
So ive posted before about my situation. There was an issue last week because of the youngest wasting her food after i spent alot of money to order out so wife didnt have to cook. She jumped me about it and was pissed that i said something to her 11yo for wasting food and stormed out of the house.
After taking a few days to cool off, i wanted to talk to her and figure out a way to try to get us on the same page so took her to dinner and afterward, asked her what things could we do so that we can be on the same page parenting. As soon as i brought up things that we have disagreed on, she flipped out because she does not like hearing compalints about her kids. She got angry, raised her voice and wouldnt listen to how it made me feel not having my back on things and taking the kids side even though they were in the wrong.
She mentioned that the step son will be coming on the 25 for a few days with his dog. I said he can board his dog and she blew! She said she told him it was ok and she wanted to see his dog and it wasnt the dogs fault. I agreed the dog wasnt at fault but dealt with his attitude, his disrespect and not cleaning up after his dog and he can board it so i wont have the stress. She said her son should be able to come home and feel welcome. I told her he is not welcome and thats why i took his key and that its my house and he will not come and go anytime at my house...Period!
She said i will not compromise and its always my way and her kids dont feel like its their home. I told her that i am trying to compromise, but if her idea is me letting the kids leave messes, tear up my flooring, tile, letting the dog chew on the walls, not do what is asked, and disrespect me, then no...i will not compromise that. She said she has tried hard for the past 2 years to flirt with me and joke around but i have had nothing to do with her. I told her that she has never had my back and has made it ok for her son to disrespect me and tear up my things and that i have been so pissed that i just wanted to be by myself. She flipped out when i said that and told me that all this time she thought it was her and went to therapy and all of that and all it was because she didnt have my back?....like it was no big deal and i should just blow it off.
She said she is done and will be looking for her own place.
I have told her twice before exactly why im upset and she chooses not to listen as soon as i mention the step son so that is on her, not me. She has no reguard for my feeling and how her kids and her have made me feel and even though i am bummed about ending a 7 year relationship, i know it will be for the better and i will be happier in the end. The more i talk to my friends the better i feel.
Even her sister and cousins agree with me! they said they dont know how i have taken it for this length of time! That really says something.
Just wanted to give an update. At least i will not have to deal with the step son any longer. There has been this hatred for him for quite some time and that is not healthy.
Hope everyone is doing well and having a nice weekend.
The world is filled with Women/ Men
No one should be in a relationship where you don't have a say in the relationship, home, ect. If DW rather move then make her DS human person ie picking up after himself and dog. Then let her. Hope she has a happy life with her kids.
There are weird thing going on in todays world. Woman kind a married there kids. The kids have the last say in everything. Kids pick what to eat where to eat, what to do, woman rather spend time with there kids then there BF
Kids only eat chicken, then that all you eat .
Nearly 8Billion humans on the planet. There are plenty that are
not failed family child obsessed failures as a partner, adult, and parent.
Give yourself some time to grieve and recover. There is someone out there who will be a true equity life partner for you.
As for her "finding her own place". THat is no longer your problem. Her son and his dad should not be welcome in your home. Your STBX should go and go now.
Even her own relatives are clear that she is not a good investment as a partner.
IMHO of course.
See This As Your Ticket Out
She's doing you a favor. I'm with you on that dog.....and I'm an avid dog lover, with two of my own and volunteer in dog rescue. No way would I let my dog tear up my own house let alone someone else's. That, along with everything else she's done - or not done - in regards to her kids makes this an actual gift for you (her leaving). I agree...7 years is a long time but it's not 10 years, or 15. So, don't look back. Give yourself a little time to heal and to soak in the lessons learned with this partner. Once you start dating again, make yourself a list of "must have's, can't stands" remembering these lessons and start your search for a healthy partner. They are out there...just takes a little work.
Best to you.
I'm sorry you're facing this
I'm sorry you're facing this right now but I'm also happy for you because from your other posts it seemed that your issues revolved around her parenting (or lack of) and her priorities. No one should have to entertain and allow others to destroy their home w/ no repercussions. You home is your safe place, a place to be yourself and keep the rest of the world at bay. Soon you will get that back. And if you are feeling remorse over this, remember if she is that way now, she's not going to change her patterns.
Well its been a long time coming...
This has been on the table since 2021 January. Its been the same thing, so youve had some time to be emotionally prepared.
I would go back and read the comments on your postings, as they are still relevant 2 years down the road.
Im glad that you finally hit the end of your rope. Get a really really great attorney. Get your financial ducks in a row. And after you get things lined up, just file, and go no contact.