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Figuring out his ex wife's behavior

goldie123's picture

Five years ago my husband got a divorce and his ex, who initiated it, immediately moved 2 states over with the kids. Tore my husband apart. She was real nasty to him on top of that, blasting how terrible a husband and father he was to everyone (Not true).

They act civil on the phone for the sake of the kids, though they never called much. The first time I met her, she got out of the car and walked past us like she didn't see us, even though it was VERY clear we were right there. She bearly spoke to either of us, which was odd because he said she usually talks too much.

Well two years later, after a couple more "i don't see you guys" meetings like that one, she's been shocking him by acting unusually nice on the phone, calling him over money issues (more than necessary) and sent ME a sweet note with a facebook friend request, thanking me for babysitting, although the last time I did that was a year ago.

She still rarely return his calls when he tries to talk to the kids. I'm wondering two things...What should I make of this new bahavior--? I'm suspicious but can't figure what she wants..doesn't seem to be money).
But if she does have a change of heart, is it unreasonable to expect her to move back to the state the kid's biological dad lives in? ...apparently her current husband wants to move here and SHE is the one preventing that.

DISbelief's picture

Sounds like she bumped her head. Smile Never can tell what is going on in the mind of a crazy person... like my signature says... you have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy! And YOUR NOT CRAZY.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ Wink

buttercup123's picture

I would be very cautious. She hasn't bumped her head enough to have turned nice, that's for sure. You say she's preventing her current husband from moving to your state where the father of her kids lives? Yup, still not nice at all. My bet is that she is coning someone into thinking she's nice. I sure as hell wouldn't be friends with her on facebook. I'd block her so she could'nt pry into my life and use anything against me....careful.

Stepmom2Ched's picture

I wouldn't trust her with a ten foot pole. She probably wants something and just hasn't revealed it.

As far as the Facebook invite, I would reject it, and BLOCK her ASAP. If your hubby has a FB account, have him do it as well. She could gain some leverage if you posted something that she could 'use as ammunition' ...to her benefit, etc.

Tread VERY lightly, Goldie for your sanity's sake!

~*~A Good Mommy will let the kids lick the beaters. A GREAT Mommy will turn the mixer off first!~*~

toriandred's picture

Sounds a lot like our BM! She is only that nice when she wants something big! BM also sent me a Facebook friend request. What is it with these women? I definitely didn't accept it! DH was kinda mad that I didn't. He said "maybe she's trying to reach out and be a friend" I told him I would not allow her to snoop thru my Facebook page and try to use something against me. Plus she would be the one snooping as far back as the first post just to see if I had talked badly about her. I have, but I had every right to since it is my page and none of her business. I would definitely be cautious with that kind of behavior.

goldie123's picture

lol thankyou for the input. My sister said the same thing--don't add her or just give her limited viewing priveleges. But my husband, just like yours toriandred, thinks I'm too skeptical..but if he'd been more skeptical of her sweet act when they first started dating, a huge mess wouldn't have happened later. I'm glad I'm not alone--she SHOULD move back here.

I have actually enjoyed toying with her on facebook. Since I'm not a big user of it anyway, I blocked out everyone EXCEPT her, sometimes, and wrote things just for her to see. That's when she actually stopped asking my hubby for money--when she read that we are super broke. I've had some other fun, too. Still, she's acting nicey-nice for something.....