Family pictures???
Forums:
I come from a split family. This weekend my moms side if having family portraits done as a Christmas gift for my grandparents. It'll be nod of my mom, sister and I. One of my aunt uncle an niece. An then my dh myself and dd. then one big one with all of us. My question is do we have ad in this pictures??
Do your grandparents
Do your grandparents recognize SD as family? Are they involved with her?
To me if they don't I wouldn't think it would be a big deal to include her. I have my great-grandma who knows myself and DH but nothing really about SS. DH wanted to give her a picture last time I saw her I requested it just be one of the two of us - yes there was some fuss but I explained that SS isn't really known to her and isn't a hot topic when we are asked about.
I'm not sure to be honest.
I'm not sure to be honest. They have only seen her 3 times in the 2 years dh and I have been together. And she is hardly ever at any of the family functions
Then honestly I would worry
Then honestly I would worry about especially if she is going to be with BM - this is about YOUR family and if she's not super included anyways why make your more work for your grandparents when asked who is on this picture.
I agree that if she was follow the advice below one with one without but only send the one without.
You don't 'have' to do
You don't 'have' to do include if you don't want to, but you might consider a few things prior to picture day. 1)yes, is your mother involved with the SD? 2)will DH be all butt hurt and resentful if SD not included? 3) will SD be present during the time photos are being taken?
Depending on your answers, you might thing of a few extra photos that day. Why not have the planned one and maybe a couple extra poses for your own home? One of just you and DH, one of SD/Dad, one of you/DD, and maybe one with all four of you. The extras can be just keepsakes for your own household, would save hurt feelings and resentment over SD and you could likely get away with excluding SD from the one big shot of the whole group. She'll feel included in the photo shoot, Dad will have some nice pictures of his SD and him and you will have nice pictures of just your original plans and groupings. You might also consider a photo of you, mom, sister and niece without the guys and the SD. Your mom and 'her' girls. My mom has one of her, me, my sister, my daughters and sister's daughter, it's one of my mother's favorites.
She won't be with us this
She won't be with us this weekend. She is with BM
How often do you see SD?
How often do you see SD? What does DH say about her not being in the family picture?
Wednesdays an every other
Wednesdays an every other weekend. I told him we have pictures Sunday, explained how we were doing one big picture an that they want one with the " three of you" meaning dh myself and our dd. then the 2 other families individually . An when i said that he said that its a great idea . Never mentioned sd
If YOU consider SD as a part
If YOU consider SD as a part of your family I would say include her. Even if she's not really recognized as family to your grandparents I would still include her... Just so she doesn't feelleft out in family things.
FDH and I do our best to include SD in every family decision/picture/ really anything that has to do with our family, because we don't want her to resent us in the future for not including her.
Everyone in my family knows
Everyone in my family knows the skids and welcomes them as family. If I were to send a family portrait excluding them, they'd find it odd.
Whether you include her or not depends on your situation and what you're comfortable with.
I imagine one day we will
I imagine one day we will take pictures just DH, myself & our bios. Only because BM keeps SD away so much & I won't keep rearranging my schedule for her. Also because MIL likes to "claim" SD as "their grandkid" not wanting to share any time with my parents, I'm sure if it were a picture coordinated by my family she may not be in it. My mom loves SD & tries to spend as much time as possible with her, but has to keep her distance because MIL doesn't 'want' my mom or dad around during their 'grandparent time' even if SD is going to be in an event or something.
Since she is going to be with
Since she is going to be with BM, I would just not even make it an issue. She is not going to be there so it's not like she has to sit there by herself and watch everyone get their pictures taken together. I would not go out of my way to get her from BM and have her there.