Everyone in his life hates me.......................help
:sick:
Where do I begin?
His "bestfriends" can't stand me. One of them is pissed that BF didn't go to a concert with him almost 2 years ago. He blames me for not letting BF go and BF never stood up and said "no it was because I didn't want to go with you." Now he won't return any of his calls or texts.
The other can't stand me because he was hitting on me and got busted by his wife, while I was trying to get away from him. She totally blamed me and now she says that I'm a horrible person and bad mother. I called her other names so my BF can't go over there and hang out now because he doesn't want to talk to her. And she felt like I was trying to keep BF and his best friend apart.
The third is nice to my face but talks about me when I'm not around.
BF's ex-wife's family hates me. Because, and yes I know this is strange, I dated BF's ex-wifes brother and had a son with him (this was LONG before BF and I got together). So that whole family hates me because my ex used to lie to them and tell them that I wouldn't let him get his son and that I was making life difficult for him. When infact he just didn't feel like driving to get his son. And because they were hoping that BF and BM would get back together one day.
His ex-wife hates me because I'm pretty sure that she's convinced that she could and would have more of his time if it wasn't for me being in the picture.
His daughter, I don't think she hates me but I'm not convinced that she LOVES me being around either.
So, what do I do? I feel like BF resents me because a lot of people that were in his life have turned their backs on him because of me. I'm sitting here wondering what all he has said about me to some of these people to make them think so lowly of me.
How will a relationship survive with that much resentment? Everytime we fight he says "I gave up all of my friends for you." But he didn't he still talks to some of them.
Anyone in the same situation where BF's or DH's or SO's friends or family hates them? How did it turn out?
We've been together almost 3
We've been together almost 3 years and when it's just us or just us and the three kids, life is wonderful. It's the rest of the world that is against us, atleast that's the way it feels.
Wow I can so relate. My DH's
Wow I can so relate. My DH's family HATES me. I came in to the picture and made his precious little princesses mind. I am so evil. It has been 6 years and its still the same. I love it though because I think the fact that it doesn't bother me pisses them off even more. I feel the same way about what he must say to people cause he is always telling me how awful people at work think I am. it doesn't help that SD13 makes up so many lies to get sympathy from his awful family. I just look at them all and am greatful I am not like them. The BM...a complete joke. She is so worthless but wants to be their friend. Sadly she use to call ME when they wouldn't listen to her. Yep, I am a very hated person...builds character i think..LOL
mommy now that you mention it
mommy now that you mention it I'm pretty sure that the majority of hs co-workers don't think the world of me either. He has to be saying stuff about me, because I'm not around his work at all and when I have been they have all been super nice. Why though? Why would he want people in his life to not like me. It really bothers me to know that he doesn't stand up for me. That they can say and think what ever they want and he never sets them straight. Hmmm...........
reading you last post was
reading you last post was like reading my own. The worst part for me is the fact that his parents can say whatever they want about me and he does nothing abuot it. I confronted him once about it and he said he doesn't defend me because i deserve what I get. 6 years ago when we got together, I had 3 kids of my own (10 months, 2 1/2 and 4 1/2). His kids were 7 and 11. I moved to be with him from another country. So here I was in a place where I knew nobody stuck with 2 little brats who didn't want me here and I guess i wasn't allowed to make mistakes. I did what I thought was best at the time. Those kids were never in harm but I have never been able to move on because I am so evil and should pay!! He always throws in my face how no man would put up with me if I treated their kids the way I do his. His YD was the most horrible person I had ever met, she still is. She would tell lies constantly just to get me in trouble and I wasn't suppose to do or say anything. his precious princesses should have been able to do what they wanted. My kids were moved away from their entire family and yet all I ever heard after I got here was how his poor babies had to make sacrifices. The only sacrafice them brats had to make was not getting everything they wanted.
i'm sorry, but this part of
i'm sorry, but this part of your post, "Because, and yes I know this is strange, I dated BF's ex-wifes brother and had a son with him" so, x wife is your kids AUNT and your dating her X HUSBAND, your son's UNCLE?? :O
True. But my son was not a
True. But my son was not a part of that family. They were never involved in his life. The x may be my son's "aunt" by blood but she has never done a damn thing for him or even been any part of his life. And my BF is technically not my son's UNCLE as they are now divorced and they never knew each other before we met. But thanks for your concern.
End of the day, do you like
End of the day, do you like yourself? That's pretty important. If not, make adjustments asap & go forward: liking yourself, accepting your actions/consequences today. You can't change the past. Give them time. Forgive yourself right now & try to not make anymore "enemies". An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
I agree with you. It took me
I agree with you. It took me almost 6 years to get to the point where I didn't care what they thought. My mil is constantly trying to tear me down. Before I got here she practically raised those girls. he worked and BM was worthless. I came into the picture and i am a full time homemaker. So she wasn't needed anymore. She doesn't have the control anymore and she can't stand it. She doesn't like the fact that i make his precious gems mind. She thinks they should be able to what they want when they want and not have consequences. Well... TO BAD!! And on the topic of "enemies", sometimes you don't have to find them, they find you!!
My BFs family is the same
My BFs family is the same with me. I am 16 years his junior so pretty much everyone that knows him thinks he is insane just trying to get some young vagina and I am just a gold digger. We have been together for 3 years now. His family members still have pictures up of him and his ex wife and kids. His dad flat out told me that my BF shouldn't have a kid with me because he is too old at 40 to have a kid. His D17 also doesn't like me and has said this to many people. His sister thinks I am a homewrecker and tells me "you can still come over to see the family, even though we don't agree with how you two got together."
So what do I do?? Just ignore them, it isn't their life it is MINE. Have you heard of the song "My Life" by Billy Joel? It reflects how I feel about people trying to plan my life for me.
hey that's me! dh is 51, i'm
hey that's me! dh is 51, i'm just a gold digger, at 28, even though i'm the sole bread winner, and all he really has to sign over to me is his life insurance when he dies that I'M BUYING.
yeah, MY LIFE you can moan and groan when you pay my way
It all boils down to the guy
It all boils down to the guy being a wimp and not telling people the truth about things. Mine is the same, and so are most of them. My hubby had friends when he and ex were together, and now they don't like me. They bring his ex girlfriends around and encourage him to get drunk and act like a college frat boy again, at 47. Gosh, why would I stand between him and THAT? They also still keep in contact with the evil ex. Of course, the ex hates me because when I wasn't around, she had my man wrapped around her finger and could drop off the stupid kid whenever she wanted to run off. Now, we have actual boundaries, and she tries to push and push them... to the extent of trying to break into my house to drop off the brat, whether we wanted her to or not.
After all that, my man doesn't want to confront her about her behavior, and I'M the bad person who nags him to do something and stresses him out.
I'm starting to wonder if it's all worth it.
That's exactally how his
That's exactally how his friends are they are all in their 40's but they want to get together and drink or do other recreational things. Truth is I don't like most of his friends and I have stopped some get togethers. Like the concert, it was an all around bad idea, they were getting a hotel and everything. A few of the guys have a history of cheating on their wives when they go out like that. AND I never said "NO you can't go!" I just asked if it was a really good idea and then didn't talk to him much after that.