Yeah, I couldn't even get past the first part. Candid discussion - HA! Definitely only for people who actually want to be PARENTS rather than ENEMIES. People who are mentally stable and out for the best interest of the KIDS rather than to assuage their own need for vindictiveness.

The first time I ever talked with PB was when I got on the phone and (very calmly) told her that if she was going to be calling MY phone at MY apartment to talk to MY boyfriend, she needed to TALK to him rather than SCREAM at him. Which her response was the usual - cussing, screaming and then hanging up on me.

The first time I ever saw her (can't say meet. she has never wanted to meet me) was when we went to pickup the skids for visitation and she came lumbering outside on her FRONT LAWN to scream at us! I don't know who's jaw was dropped the most out of all of us (including my DS who was 10 at the time).

You'd think that I was the "other woman" but they had been broken up and were living apart well before I came into the picture. The problem was, their relationship was such a roller coaster on-again/off-again that she felt she could use the skids to reel him back in anytime she wanted. She was pissed that this time when he was cast off, I snipped the line.

I've found that "other woman" or not, these PASinator BMs can't stand the fact that their ex is moving on with his life. So they use the child(ren) as weapons. And by the looks of it that percentage of crazies is getting higher and higher. I'd say it's past a good 70%.

Yeah, I remember once trying to have a 'candid discussion' with SO about what my role should be with the skids. His response was I should be the one to make that decision, its not his place. Yeah ok.

I made the decision myself.

We would actually have to get BM on the phone. She refuses to talk to us because she owes us money. (although in her twisted mind, I think she feels we should just eat it, since we owe her.)

I've read that before, and knew his advice wouldn't work for DH's situation...

I think dr. phil is obviously too far removed from real life to be helpful here. In my early days, back when I was young and naive, and first got with my dh-he and I talked and decided to invite bm and her new spouse over for a cookout. This was a few weeks after we moved in together, my dh had custody, so ss was obviously living with both of us at that point and she did not know me or my children and I thought an opportunity to sit down and get to know one another, allow bm to see where her child would be living and who would be part of his day to day life was a good thing. Ha! She declined and told my dh that she felt it best we not socialize. Realistically, this was a really mild response compared to what some of you might receive if you invited the bm over-but I would say the norm is MORE for bm's NOT to want to have a candid discussion with the new sm and the sm trying to arrange something like this is just asking for trouble, IMO. I felt that much of the other info was fairly worthless as well. I've been patient for about 10 years or now. SS dislikes me FAR more now than he did when we met.

WHAT A FN WANKER HER IS....

Some man trying to give ideas based on the mans view.....'as if'?

I thought for a moment that his ideas had some type of foundation to start, but on second thoughts he isnt taking into considerations all the 'weirdo variables'

i.e bitch faced BM...who is hell bent on running you and your DH down - and makes sure the skids are on her side
pig faced anti social rebellous step children
DH who shy's away from disciplining his own bio children
Disney guilty dad emotions

when you do all the stuff that 'dr phillip' suggests and it still goes to shit.....WOTS TO BLAME??? NOT I.....TRY THE FACT THAT THE BIO PARENTS OF THESE SKIDS HAD NO BLOODY CLUE ON HOW TO BRING UP KIDS COS THEY WERE TOO INVOLVED WITH HATING EACH OTHER AND IT WAS EASIER TO HAND OUT THAN TO PARENT....is one place to start....then it rolls on from there.....

When we divorce...we do so bc we HATE each other..Kids are sometimes weird from the realisation of this....and some parents dont have a clue how to explain that fact to them so they grow up hoping their parents will get back together.....wot a start to their lives.....so Dr Phil....re write and tell me something I dont already know

LMAO I couldn't get past the first sentence of the second paragraph without almost retching. I am assuming that BM that Dr. Phil is speaking of is emotionally healthy person and not the sociopath beoch of a BM that I have had to deal with for the better part of 3 years. Oh yes, I tried to be befriend her and involve her in the skids' day-to-day lives who reside full time with my DH and I. That was before I caught a glimpse of the knife she tried to stab me in the back with. }:)

I think this whole "co-parenting" stuff is just CRAP.

I see NO REASON for exes to have any relationship - ever.

I've seen many children of divorce grow up to be wonderful adults with no major issues even when their parents have not spoken in decades.

It sounds so great on paper for "everyone to get along". But it is not necessary and in reality just caused problems. If everyone just got along the BM and BD would probably still be together.

Communication about schedules and drop-off is more than enough.