Hi,
So this probably my first post in ages. I am a SM (not BIO) to SD2 and SD6, I married their father only 2months ago and we've been together for 2 years. He was not with his BM and they had a casual relationship (meaning he used her for s*x as she was easy, thus resulting in SD2) ever since SD6 was born, both children have openly been used to 'trap' him and had DNA tests. I handed the olive branch out to BM a few months of me and DH dating and she called me all the names under the sun in texts to DH, and slammed the door in my face.
Anyways me and DH bought a place toghether closer to SK's so he could see them more, therefor relying on me in the week to meet BM to pick up SK's. This continued for a while, with her being late, now words were exchanged between us other than her complaing she has no ££, making her kids cry and scream because they didn't want to leave her as they were promised so much when they got back 'home' that it was impossible and I'm not here to discipline anyones child. ANyways it got to the point where I didnt want to do it any more as it was SO embaressing. And the last time I went with DH to collect, the youngest hit me and scratched at me like a wild animal (coz she wanted to run in the road and I stopped her), to no reprecusions.
Anyways he collects and drops off by himself now as seeing her makes me physically sick, shes either over nice to him or so rude I want to hit her. When the kids are over its really hard, if I don't act mum then DH gets annoyed with me and stomps around and puts them to bed without getting them to say goodnight to me, also leaving all of thir toys, clothes etc all over our house.Now it has got better as before I would have to tidy up the next day when I got home from work, wash up all their plates, make their beds and tidy up their toys, but after MANY arguments he has finally learnt that he needs to do it himself.
I just feel that unless I play mum, I get no part of the evening with them, if I want my own space (I work full time) in the evening then I get punished by it from him. The SK's themself are fine, SD2, is 2 and therefor can be a handful but overall they are good when they are with us. It just upsets me that they come over dressed as orphans, are told to lie to their dad about who/what they have been upto since he saw/spoke to them last by their mum, told that I'm not alowwed to do their hair and that if they dnt want to eat something then we should make something else?!.I think its disgusting. Now I know I am meant to support DH as its hard for him, not once I feel like he has supported me becoming a SM. I feel thrown into it and everyhone thinks that its a whirlwind of fun for me.Which its not, not one person on his side has asked about us starting our own family as they think I dont want one,coz I have his 2 kids. Its like WTF?! also one time BM was at his mums house and we were on our way over, I was toldnot to come over, rather than her leave?! I feel like I have missed out on alot of normal things because of his mistakes and yet right now I dont feel like theres any reward for any of this.
Basically we are having alot of problems about money, BM wants more (she is getting more than CSA has told him), we have no spare money to start our own family right now and I find it all a giant p take on my life. But I must smile and grin when my house is turned into a giant playland for his kids and we have no time together other than sun afternoons when they go.
Please, does it get any better, has anyone else had issues more with DH ungratefulness than the stupidity of their BM.
I dont want to put so much energy into thinking about her and how she's such a tramp but it makes me feel so rubbish that he can be so nice to her, yet speak to me so horribly at times. Honestly I want to punch him, he's made me feel like rubbish the past few moths and I'm not perfect granted but I take on ALOT to be with him, and to top it of I have to play mum or spend the next few days with him in a mood with me.
Does anybody elses DH or BF do this to them or am I just doubling unlucky??