It took me a while to figure out that my DH is the cause of a lot of issue with my SD13. He somehow finds a way to pick the my inopportune time to do something really stupid to infuriate me right before she is due to visit for the summer. He has always had a way of trying to make my caring for her while he works a responsibility instead of a choice (which it is), she is his responsibility. The when she gets here I don't want anything to do with her because I am so angry with him. While this year I turned it around, I pointed out to him how he always manages to make me angry when she is coming to visit for the summer and how she really is not the issue. I also was able to tell him exactly how I feel about him doing some of the most irritating things that he does and how I disassociate from her do to his stupidity. Now don't get me wrong, I love my husband dearly and while my SD13 is generally a good kid, she still has her ways like most 13 year olds. But for years I could not fathom why I resented this child so which when she was not a bad kid by far. Now I know and though I love my husband, I had to make him realize that his behaviors were a huge part of my not relating to his daughter. It was an interesting revelation. :jawdrop: