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DH always seems moody and pissy after he talks to one of the skids.

hippiegirl's picture

Submitted by hippiegirl on Sat, 10/24/2015 - 3:53pm

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What is that about? Have any of you with adult skids ever had to deal with this. DH could be in the best mood ever, then one of the precious snowflakes calls, and it's all over with. I don't understand this. It pisses me off, because after he hangs up the phone it's me and our kids who have to deal the fallout. Last time SS26 called, DH was in a shitty mood for the rest of the night. Thanks alot, skid! I just wish they'd lose his number.

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Submitted by 20YearsAsAStep-Mom on Sat, 10/24/2015 - 3:57pm

Me me me - raising hand!

My DH does this too. It really pisses me off because after he has an extended conversation with the older SD he gets moody and irritable with me. I HATE IT.

We don't even discuss his conversation - I don't ask anything and he is just plain grouchy after a phone call.

Wish I knew why this happens too.

hippiegirl's picture

Submitted by hippiegirl on Sat, 10/24/2015 - 4:00pm

Yeah, I don't ever ask DH about his conversation with skids either (I don't really care). I try to be disengaged, but it's hard when they have a direct effect on your quality of life. I made a good dinner that night (meatloaf & mashed potatoes), and DH was too upset to enjoy it. I might as well have made cereal.

godess-clueless's picture

Submitted by godess-clueless on Sat, 10/24/2015 - 5:48pm

When my dh has acted like that it is usually because he has been told bad news ( I no longer jump in to fix any of the steps or
SGC problems.)

If he feels the need to talk about their misfortunes, then he has his own family to confide or vent to. The family members
in his own age group are busy with their own lives, and barely know his kids except through FB.

With an intact family unit, when a parent hears disturbing news from their child , they have the other equally concerned parent in the home to talk with. In step families , when dad hears disturbing news he doesn't get that. He's dealing with a partner that has usually given up on being the Bradey bunch family .
dh's dysfunctional ex, children, or grandchildren are not mine to fix or concern myself over. That dysfunctional history existed decades before me. The opportunity to vent, express disappointment, consider options or just calm down thru talking it out are limited with the wife . There's too much chance of hearing " Told you so"

earthsage's picture

Submitted by earthsage on Sat, 10/24/2015 - 5:49pm

I experience the same thing. But they are just 12 & 14. They usually call him when they are mad at their BM. I don't know. I don't like seeing him hurt though which puts him into his pouting phase.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Sat, 10/24/2015 - 7:48pm

My DH gets sad because he feels his daughter could have a much better life than she is choosing for herself.

He is past the guilt, he knows it is not his fault. M

Maybe your DH feels guilt, like he failed them, which makes him moody. Or he's mad that they are not the adults that they should be, which makes him pissy. Or maybe there are things he wants to say to them but feels he can't or shouldn't and is frustrated.

I don't know. My DH gets suspicious when SD24 doesn't call, suspicious when she does call. He worries about her and how she lives her life, he worries that she's mad at him if he lectures her. He wants her to do right but he wonders how much he should say to her, as she's an adult.

I'm like, shit, I am 49 and if my dad wants to give me a lecture, he does. He's my dad and I'm pretty sure he figures that lecturing me and saying what he wants to say will always be his right.

I tell my DH, you can't stop trying. At least you know you are trying.