Day surgery!...
Hi
I know this isn't specific to my 2 SKids, but i wanted to run this past a few people, as I always get freat advice here. Basically I was due to go into hospital on Monday for a procedure, and I couldn't drive thre or back. My other half dropped me off (it was on his way to work), but wasn;t keen on leaving work at all early to pick me up anytime around 4pm. I said, OK, I would sit and wait in the hospital. Unfortunately, the procedure was cancelled at the last minute, and I texted him to tell him at 10am, and he responded' that is bad'.
Anyway, the problem was, I had no transport, and the hospital was quite far and difficult to get to by public transport from my house, so I was a bit stranded. However, I insisted the hospital got me a cab home. However, my keys were inside the house so i was locked out. I called him, texted him etc, and no answer. He didn;t check his phone til 4.30pm. No-one was around athat i knew -all were at work, and it was pouring down. I sat in cafes all day, with my pyjamas in my bag!
Basically, it just didn;t occur to him that i was standed, nor did he wonder how I would get home/ check his phone all day after 10am. He may not have known i was locked out, but i suppose i am annoyed that even at the outset he didn;t seem keen on taking an hour off work to pick me up at the hospital. He will take time off to get his haircut/wait for deliveries, but not this. I checked and he had no important meetings that afternoon.
Can asomeone tell me am i overreacting? I am just annoyed at his priorities, but maybe I am just stressed about the surgery generally and oversensitive.
Thanks for any opinions, it is just bugging me!
I'm sorry, but I'm going to
I'm sorry, but I'm going to be honest here.. I went back and read your other recent post about how you picked him up at the airport, went and got food for HIS kids and then he dismissed you to go home by yourself and now this? This guy is a selfish prick to put it bluntly.
He couldn't take the day off to be with you for surgery?? He just dumps you off at the hospital and then goes on his merry way? Then can't even be bothered to check with you at some point during the day to make sure that you were able to get home?
No, no, no.....this is NOT how you treat someone that you supposedly care about!
Yeah, we talked over the
Yeah, we talked over the other issues and finally got a resolution,things seemed to be going well, and now this happened. God, i feel awful.
I'm sorry, I know how much it
I'm sorry, I know how much it sucks to give of yourself and get nothing in return. I guess you can get a clear answer to how you feel about this by asking yourself... if the roles were reversed, would you have treated your SO the way he treated you?
I highly doubt it, like I said this is not how you treat someone that you care about.
Yeah, I hear ya, I am not a
Yeah, I hear ya, I am not a passive person, just not in a strong place right now with my health, so am not on top form.
He didnt know i was standed, but didn;t check his phone all day to check if i was ok as he says he was in a 'meeting'. Thanks for your advice (tho please go easy on me!)
Thanks
He didnt know i was standed
He didnt know i was standed but didn;t check his phone all day to check if i was ok as he says he was in a 'meeting'
I don't care if he is the President of the United States, IF he was "in a meeting" all day, I'm sure they broke for lunch or he could have excused himself to call or text you. That is no excuse. If you had dumped him off at the hospital for surgery (which I sure you wouldn't have done) and he called to tell you surgery was cancelled, you would have left work to come and get him and if per chance you just couldn't break away I'm sure you would have at least checked on him to make sure that he made it home.. right?
This is not acceptable... please don't settle for someone who treats you like a cheese sandwich. You deserve better than this.
I have to agree with the
I have to agree with the others. And we're coming down hard on you because we don't want you to continue to get treated like a doormat because we know this is not how somebody who loves and cares about you would treat you.
I've had a few surgeries and every time I needed DH (BF at the time). He was there . .the first face I saw . . . It's one of the many reasons I married him. I knew I could count on him. And when he had a procedure a few years ago. . mine was the first face he saw as well.
Set your BF or DH straight. I've been in countless meetings and no one turns off their phone. The minute you told him the surgery was cancelled his next statement should have been confirming that you had a ride home or he should have offered to come and pick you up. He could have taken the afternoon off or went back to work. When he needs time off for other stuff, it's not an issue, but when you have surgery it's not a priority? I don't think so.
If you enjoy this kind of treatment, let it ride. But if you don't, set him straight and I mean but good. You teach people how to treat you and unless you put your foot down and set him straight, you'll always be disappointed and embarrased about how he treats you. If he can't do better than this, it's time to move on. Don't allow anyone to treat you with anything other than the love and respect that you deserve.
From the post he seems like
From the post he seems like the thought to check on you did't even cross his mind.......If he was in surgery I am so sure you would not have done this to him. So why be with someone who wont care as much as you or do the things you would do. Relationships are partnerships and it sounds like your relationship is very one sided.