Crazy BM, help!
I never, ever call women crazy, let me make that clear. I am a feminist and I believe that women are emotional and men don't know how to handle it so therefore they call them crazy. I believe in equality and accountability... Okay so there's that.
But, this woman, I have never in my life met someone like her to pull the stunts that she has, furthermore, makes me think she is.... crazy.
Short summary:
Began dating my fiancé (BF), she drove by his house and demanded to know who was with her son- This was only the second time I had met the baby.
Baby stayed sick the majority of the time, breathing treatments, tubes in ears, aspiration, allergies, stomach issues, infections, flu, etc... BM would cancel his doctor appointments just to reschedule them so BF could not go. Or, she was just not take him to appointments. She would stop giving him antibiotics because she said he had taken too many (She was a CNA with an expired license), so she knows best, right? She would also claim she baby didn't need tests and that he was fine, and when BF would have him he would take him to the doctor to get him double checked BM would flip saying he had no right to take him and that she already had him tested for said ailment then say she was going to have him arrested because she was primary parent and he didn't ask her permission-- to take baby to the doctor!!??? :O
Continued crazy:
Grabbing her arm and calling cops saying BF did it, then dropping charges if he agreed to sign parenting plan. Gets fiancé (rather quickly after breaking up with BF)... claims he is the dad and demands DNA (he is not). Still has baby call him dad.
Files an order of protection on BF ON THE BABY'S FIRST BIRTHDAY bc BF didn't give her child support the way she wants (he opened a checking account in baby's name and gave her a debit card). She said he threatened her- I was a witness and so was her fiancé, which we both said in court never happened. Judge (who knows her fiancé) dropped order against baby but not BM and it's being appealed. Gotta love small towns.
Current crazy:
Her fiance' has left her, she has no job and lives with her parents. BF filed custody case on her with all the many many contempt's she has broken on the parenting plan. BM now wants to work together for what's best for the baby.... She will drop protection charges if BF will drop his custody/contempt charges. Of course this will no happen. I'm staying out of it, but it is incredibly frustrating.
Any other crazy BM stories out there!??
Your BM sounds like the
Your BM sounds like the typical found here. My skid's mom has done half of the things you've mentioned. Your boyfriend's ex sounds bored and like she hasn't let go or accepted the separation for what it is. Also the joint account for the kid is a terrible idea. If she goes to court your boyfriend will be order to pay child support on top of whatever he's been contributing to that account regularly.
I completely agree... He
I completely agree... He wanted to do it, and since I have no say or opinion in the matter he gave it a try. haha It was a disaster.
They have it worked out in the judge signed parenting plan how payment is to occur and the set amount by the state. He did try to give her the money but she flipped out that it was on a debit card and refused to take it. It was quite a scene in the Dollar store parking lot. We sound so redneck, but I swear we are not. lol
Nope they weren't married and
Nope they weren't married and together a year and a half, he was on the birth certificate and DNA test was done at her request. In the order of protection she mentioned him not paying child support, however he pays through the state which has been established, he just wanted it to be better to access than writing a check every month... I agree it wasn't the best idea, but like you said.. I don't have any say or opinion in that matter. Her order of protection said he threatened her by pointing his finger at her like a gun when he talked to her, I was at the exchange and didn't see it honestly.. so that's whatever.
The grabbing of arm, I can't attest to this happening or not. From my one side of the story that I heard it was at a doctors appointment for the baby and BF asked if he could hold him, the baby reach for him and he reached to get the baby and she pushed him back away and yelled at him in the waiting room. After the doctor visit is when she filed the charges. Again I don't know the whole story but choose to believe him, he has no reason to hurt her especially in a crowded doctors office.
I completely agree with you, I am not the baby's mom nor do I want to be. I can't say that I ever want kids, and try not to get wrapped up in the parenting aspect of this situation but merely as support. It's just incredibly frustrating seeing the fiancée get hurt over again by this woman and her attempts to keep his child away. It's truly sad.
I still continue to live my life and be his partner and I told him on no uncertain terms I will not be acting as another parent in this situation because it's not my responsibility. The way I see it; and I can be wrong, my only role in this is to support and nurture my fiancée and make sure our relationship is happy and healthy... just like his is to do the same.
Honestly, I know the kid would be better off with BD because he is stable, educated and comes from a good family and I know he has all capability to raise a good human being; however... it scares the shit out of me to live full time with the SS and this BM being like she is. I'm a passive person by nature and I work at a non profit and volunteer for CASA, so I see this crap all the time. It just goes to show you can't help who you love.
And, I'm not sure how to deal with it all besides just watch it all unfold and be there to support.
I have a lot of crazy BM
I have a lot of crazy BM stories. What worked best for us was getting a No Contact Order listed in the Court Order. BM was not allowed to call or text or even email unless it was about changing the schedule for some reason. We also had the skids exchanged at a neutral 3rd party exchange place (where they also did supervised visitation). If it weren't for those two things, I would have gone crazy myself...and more than likely left!
That is great advice! From
That is great advice! From what I read in his papers she isn't supposed to contact him unless it's a medical issue or exchange with the kid too... but she doesn't care (Another contempt of court).
We live in a small town, so they have had to have the exchange moved to a police station and the grandparents to the exchanging.
Honestly, I'm just glad I'm not going through this personally, I just feel awful for the fiancée. I question him all the time "How the hell did you decide to get with this girl?" lol