Communication with BM
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I feel annoyed knowing that my DH talks to BM..
SS10 lives with us full time, we live in a different province than BM. So I understand that DH still needs to talk to her about how he is doing. DH doesn't tell me about what they talk about or if they make decisions like when SS will go back to visit which is fine, he's not my son so whatever and ai don't expect him to tell me every time he talks to her but I do get curious about how often they talk.....How can I overcome this insecurity?
btw I have never met BM, she
btw I have never met BM, she refuses to meet me even when she has to pick up her son from me, she refuses to get my number to communicate and would rather do it through DH. She wouldnt let me be part of SS's birthdays and even made fun of my son when he was born. I always do the mom things for my SS, even when we were living in the same province she would only see him once a week sometimes skip weeks..she never made his lunch for him on her days and so it is really annoying that she doesnt really show any gratitude for me helping raise her son.
Hon..... never agree to meet
Hon..... never agree to meet BM, never allow her to have your contact details.... you where not married to her and you owe her nothing... like we say on ST - ignore the whore..
Now , either you accept SS and you do not complain about doing things for him, or you simply disengage, never compare yourself to BM.....
Last - make it clear to DH - no more daily chats with BM, they are divorced, tell him it feels like he has a affair with his ex wife, DH might not even think about it, these woman are manipulators, simply tell your DH how you feel, be honest... There's no need for them to talk daily... Suggest SS getting a cheap flip phone, if he does not have a phone... BM can contact him directly and only text DH when something really is happening like arranging visitation or an illness... but texting, no soppy phone calls.
It annoys me also. Daily
It annoys me also.
Daily chats with your ex ~ Not ok in my book.
Yet... it doesn't stop. She tries to contact him multiple times a day ~ LIKE THEY ARE STILL MARRIED.
He ignores her for the most part. She just doesn't give up... He talks to her at least once a day for 10-20 mins.
THERE IS NO WAY THE KIDS LIVES CHANGE THAT MUCH ~ DAY TO DAY TO NEED TO TALK THAT LONG DAILY.... The Bio-Whore doesn't let the kids tell their father about their day ~ SHE talks for them. She complains to him about everything and anything he does. No matter what he does... It's always wrong.
It wouldn't fly if it was me talking to my EX. I have a child with another man. There is no need for us to talk daily.
She won't stop until he stops
She won't stop until he stops responding. He won't stop responding until he understands that daily communication with his Ex over nonEmergencies are unnecessary. I think one of the most successful things that convinced DH was hearing it from another guy who told him it constant communication with his ex was what kept coparenting and blending households so high conflict.
@maxell09 I agree.... How
@maxell09
I agree.... How often does your hubby communicate with the ex now?
My husband has After school calls & Goodnight calls with Step kids EVERY DAY. I think that is too much but it is what it is... So, when she wants to get on the phone with him before or after the kids speak to him she does AND anytime she has a dumb question she reaches out to him LIKE THEY ARE STILL MARRIED. I've begged to structure convos with her to once a day at goodnight call. Not constant I have a question so let me call my ex. It's so she can have a conversation with him... I wish she would get a life. She cheated on my DH with his best friend who was also Married. She keeps having more and more of his kids so She doesn't work. PLENTY of free time to bother MY HUSBAND!
Isnt it aweful how the BM's
Isnt it aweful how the BM's need to stay relevant in their exes lives, and how it hurts when your DH's give the excuse "well, I need to keep tabs on things because of the children"?
I have heard this time and time again. BM texts SO about her relationship and all the details. She has even asked about our Sex life together, as if to say "is it better with her than it was with me?" (yes we are way better together than they were, plus I don't still sleep with my grubby baby blanket...added bonus)