Can't stand BM!!!!
I am new to this site and I'm so glad that I found it. It's good to know that other people feel the same as I do towards BM and know exactly what I'm going through. The other day my SD-8 left a message on our answering maching that had all of our names on it.(Her's, mine, our son and my husband) My husband and I thought it was cute. Her mother called that night and we were all out and she "accidently" left a message making fun of SD as well of bashing me for leaving a message a day after my husband and I were married (2 years ago) saying this is the ____ residence. I was so pissed while I was listening to it and my SD walked in. I immediatly turned it off so she wouldn't hear it, but when she asked who it was I said it was your B*tch ass Mom. I realize I shouldn't have said that it front of her, but I am getting fed up with BM. My husband tries to stay out of it as much as possible, but he actually called her and asked her why she was making fun of her own daughter's message? She said that she wasn't making fun of her just repeating her exact message (in a rude voice) b/c she thought it was funny. Yeah right!! She always tries to make everything mine or my husband's fault even though it itsn't. Now she is threatining to make things worse than they already are. I don't know what...I'm sure she will probably try to call CPS on me. I don't know if she can actually do that or not. My husband wants to try and get custody, but I think it is too hard for Dads to get awarded full custody unless there is something seriously wrong with the Mom. I don't know if I would want to have her live with us on a permanent basis anyway. She is a spoiled brat and a bad influence on our son.
Obviously BM hasn't gotten over that fact that my husband married me and not her. She has already had a BF for 2 years and just had another baby 3 months ago. I don't know why she just won't leave us alone!!!! I have been with my husband for 3 1/2 years and it seems like it just keeps getting worse. Any advise?
I know How You Feel
I have grooves in my tongue where I had to bit it so many times. The BM we deal with is rude, evil, and a lier. I don't deal with her at all. She bad mouths me to the kids all of the time. There is nothing I can do about that. My Skids BM is totally jealous of me. She caught wind we might get a puppy for the kids. She went out and bought 2 puppies and a cat. It is so sad. I bet her house smells!!!
BM focus's on making mine and DH's live miserable. I can't stand her and I am a person who likes almost everyone. I am a person who speaks my mind so it is very hard for me to not tell the truth about BM when the kids asks. It is my opinion and my house. BM does not control what I say and what I think. I don't go around bashing her but I will not cover for her either. If she lies to the children then the lie is on her.
My DH has physical custody of the kids. It was a huge court battle and DH was proven to be the more fit parent. It can be done but it was hardl The Mother ran off with some man abandoned the children and left the country. You would think because abandoning the children for 2 years and coming back for custody she wouldn't have any rights. I personally feel she gave up her rights hurting the children like she did. The Judge felt it was in the childrens best interests to see their mother. Go figure.
BIOMOM IS RIGHT
My SD BM has been doing the same thing for many years until I stopped letting it come between us.. Just remind yourself that he put the rings on your fingers and that tears her up( BM in my case same sit. DH never even proposed and married me within a year) And that she is just trying to make you as unhappy as she is.After years of this BM here has pretty much stopped alot of that smug stupid stuff and I really think its because I told her that I've been called worse by better than you and walked away one day after trying to get some scheduling done and she turned it into something personal. In our case we got custody after years of record keeping all the smaller things show instability and neglegance after so many repeats. GOOD LUCK
Remember, misery loves company..
Lovers do not finally meet somewhere, they were with each other all along.
And as most of the bm's we deal with are extremely MISERABLE women, their only desire is to drag us down with them. We refuse when we do as Biomom stated, we take away their power and that is the greatest feeling, besides the fact that in the process of removing their power over us,(by showing them no emotion when they start their shit) we also create such anger in them that is so destructive to them and only them....what better revenge then a life well lived right in their faces.
BM driving me insane
I tried to post this before but I don't know where it went, so I am going to try again. I have been married to my husband for 8 years we have been together for 10, he has been divorced from bm for 14 years. They have a 15 almost 16 year daughter together. The thing is,is that bm thinks she can tells us what to do and when to do it. We bought a new car about a month ago and sd comes over and sees it noone says anything about it and then we get this "hate letter" from bm in the mail a week later. Telling us that she can't believe that we went and got a new car right before sd turns 16 and how she hates us and so on. We offered sd our old car, but she refused it on numerous occassions so we got rid of it and now they are mad. A few months before this she took us back to get more child support, which is fine with us because we were paying our child support and half of almost everything else now we are just paying our child support and insurance and nothing more. She told my husband that their daughter didn't want him in her life anymore because he hurt her and that it was my fault that he didn't have a relationship with her and so on. My husband just igornes this and hasn't talked to his daughter in 2 weeks. I however want to write her a letter and just tell her off, but I am not sure i should... It just burns me that she thinks that we should do what she says and when we don't we get these nasty letters about how horrible we are. WHat should i do?
The drama never ends
Well my husband finally got it touch with SD last night just to say hi. He has been calling her and either BM's cell is turned off or BM says she isn't there and will give her the message and of course she never returns his calls. SD was very short with him and didn't act like she wanted to come to our house. Usually when he calls a couple of days before our weekend she is thrilled and can't wait. About an hour later BM called and said that SD didn't want to come b/c she thought that Daddy was mad at her. Why would she think that he is mad at her? BM is probably filling her head with all kinds of BS. She is 8 years old and probably forgot about the whole situation the next day. (see original post) BM said that she was going to leave it up to SD if she wanted to come or not. Surprisingly DH told her no, she doesn't have a choice.(she's the child, not the adult) It was his weekend and he was picking her up whether she wanted to come or not. He only gets to see her EOW and BM tries to alienate her from us as much as possible. Then SD calls crying. DH told her that he wasn't mad at her. Nothing about me not being mad at her, just him. She probably thinks I hate her b/c she ratted me out. I don't know why he never asked her why she thought he might have been mad at her? Don't you think that would have been a question you would have asked??? She probably doesn't want to come b/c she knows that when she gets home BM is going to interrogate her about everything that was said and done all weekend and how I was treating her. After he hung up with SD he demanded that I tell her sorry for saying that about her Mom in front of her. WHAT!!!! First of all I'm not sorry for saying that about BM, just the fact that SD heard it. He didn't ask me to tell her sorry, he told me I had to. I told him if he is demanding apologies then BM needs to say sorry for talking shit about me and making fun of SD's message on MY machine wheather she meant for anyone to hear it or not. DH blew up and said that he can't do this anymore. I haven't spoke to him at all since last night. I need help. What would you do? BM is always trying to start shit between DH and I. I don't know why he doesn't see this.