So explain it to him exactly like you explained it here. You want some one on one time with him. Couples need that, whether they're parents or not.

Tell him you'd love to go on a kid oriented trip with SS..AFTER your honeymoon and after you've had some time to spend together as a newlywed couple. Nothing wrong with that!

A couple has to have couple time without kids. Even if the kids are joint bios from that couple. It sounds to me that your DH is a "guilty daddy". You need to give him absolute clarity that you insist on some non kid time with him occasionally that includes couple vacation time. My wife and I have been married since my SS-18 was 1yo. He has had regular visitation with his BioDad. 5Wks Summer, 1Wk Winter, 1Wk Spring.

For years my wife would veto vacations when the kid was with the SpermClan. Eventually we both came to the conclusion that we could no longer postpone our own lives to include the kid in everything we do.

So, we started taking nice weekend trips and even some longer more significant vacations when the kid was on visitation with his SpermClan. If we did something that we felt would be particularly enjoyable for the kid we would try to do it again when he was with us.

When he got older (teens) we would tell him what we were going to do and when we were going to do it and gave him the choice of going with us or going on visitation. We never would have let him refuse visitation with his SpermClan. He never missed visitation but he did call BioDad several times to tell him WHEN summer visitation would begin or end so he could go on Rags' family vacations with his mom and I.

This would piss off SpermGrandMa but that ... was not our problem or concern. The CO stipulates that they must give us 60 day notice prior to the start of their summer visitation. This allows them to pick the start date of the 5wk visitation. Eventually we quit waiting for them to pick their start date and just made our own plans. If our plans conflicted with SpermClan's plans then the kid had a decision to make. He always chose to do our thing and start his summer visitation on a day that would make him available to do our stuff.

Have fun at Club La-Vila and enjoy your time in Panama City.

I would ask him for time alone so you two can spend some time together withut his son. My husband did the same and then I was left while husband was dealing with and playing with his boys. I felt so seperated from them. You guys actually need alone time together.

You definately need to make your DH understand .Me and DH have been together 16 years and SD was 3 when we married.We started the same way although we did take a honeymoon.My DH used to call SD 2x a day EVERY DAY (plenty of excuses for the ex to fight with him and me) and had her every single day off he had.On our honeymoon he called as usual and the BM was crying becasue he was on his honeymoon. Nothing like arguing and guilt trips on your honeymoon!BTW she left him and married his best friend-so crocodile tears.Everytime we went anywhere without SD when it wasnt visitation time SD had a "medical emergency" and would ruin the day becasue DH was worried.

Anyway we never really went anywhere because of SD and now we have our own kids too.We went to every other weekend when SD was 5(that was a huge dramafest) and the phone calls slowed down too.Now DH regrets that we didnt have our couple time.

This is where you have to learn HOW to say it.I used to be all bitter and nasty and argue with DH about SD.Then I learned to be a phony and his guard went down somewhat.LOL I would say I love when SD is over.Shes so funny or cute or whatever(not) and he wasnt quite so defensive with me.Lets take SD to Chuck E Cheese this weekend or whatever.Then when I had a gripe I would say you know I have nothing against SD but do you think maybe we could etc etc?He then listened more to what I said about alone time and wasnt so defensive.We didnt vacation alone but when we had our kids he understood we needed time as a family becasue SD was and is a moajor attenetion hog and pretty pretty princess. :sick: It is a tad manipulative but if youre in it for the long haul(like me) I call it diplomacy.You catch more flies with sugar,LOL

It worked with my DH but then again he is really a sweetheart.Thats how the ex sucked him in to begin with.Dont know if youre DH can be "sweet talked "LOL Thats why the ex hates me. She knows I put an end to all that other crap.Might as well stay married to the ex if the kid and the BM are going to call all the shots and control everything. LOL

Anyway good luck.Its a long road.

Repeat after me, "Honey, I love your son but I'm IN love with you. I want and deserve time for a honeymoon and for us alone. This is important to me and it is important to us. Couples cannot survive if they do not make time for each other without children. This is in no way an indicator that I don't like your son. It IS an indicator that I'm in love with you and I want to spend time alone with you." Lather, rinse, repeat.

you need to say something to him, i don't like taking ANY of my kids on trip much because i feel guilty for not taking skids, but taking dd, even though dh is ok with it.

we'll spontaniously pack up on a friday night and head in a different direction sometimes...love it

I have the opposite problem, I want to take at least ONE "family" vacation and H will not hear of it.

I guess I would go alone then. Have a great time and enjoy some "me" time. You may not feel like it, but you have had this trip planned for too long to have him take it over like that. Go alone, sit on the beach, sip fruity cocktails and ignore your cell phone. Lounge in your room and read, enjoy the pool and go out dancing in the evening.

If you give in on this one, you are doomed. Is he really THAT against having some alone time with his new bride? No honeymoon. Maybe this goes in the TV show blog. "The No Honeymooners". Sorry, but this is just wrong.

I'm very sad you have to feel like this!

I would tell your husband exactly how you feel. You can do something during the summer vacation with your ss, and you two deserve a vacation alone on one of the weeks or weekends you will not have the ss. That is not too difficult. I understand the no honeymoon...I'm right there. Had to postpone everything. So, tell him and if he doesn't get it tell hime again.

Hay!!! Book your your trip to the beach whenever BM books her trip to the beach and buy non refundable tickets WITHOUT his permission. Then, you surprise him with it as a honeymoon SURPRISE!!!

Obviously don't go to the same damn beach!!!

Be creative. He tries to include ss6 because he really loves him and he's part of him. I understand this, but I also understand you have a need to be intimate with DH. Tell DH you need both, family time and then intimate time. After a while you will learn to negotiate time for you, time for family.