BM wants home repairs?
Grrrrrr.......
So I wrote a couple days ago about the emails I sent BM. She lives in the house the she and DH still own together. They are upside down on the mortgage, she can't refinance in her name, and if we take it over now and rent it, we'll eat about $300 a month on it. So as long as she wants to stay there and pay the mortgage instead of rent - fine with me and DH. However, she is an absolute pig and seems to think only men can use paint brushes. After hearing her complaints, I expected to walk into a tear down, but its actually a really cute place that DH did custom woodworking in over the years, big bedrooms (3), two bathrooms, laundry room. Literally all it needs is a coat of paint, a THOROUGH cleaning (filthy walls and toilets), and restaining on the floor. Definately stuff I could handle no problem, snd she could too. I let her know in the emails I sent that DH would no longer be fixing things for her when he dropped off/picked up the kids. I don't like that she acts like an psychotic banshee half the time and then the other half, acts like she and DH are still married (when she wants or needs something).
Today, DH called the kids to see if he could drop off BM's nephews birthday gift. He found out she wasn't home and so planned to stop by and give it to him. He immediately gets a call back from BM saying that he can't just stop by and she would prefer to be at home when he stops by (why? the kids are teens). DH just said fine, I'll drop the gift off at the uncles house (lives two blocks away). Then BM changes her tune and says she'll overlook it this time, but if he wants to play hardball then she will too. THEN goes on to say that his new wife is telling him what he can and can't do and that its his house too and helps the kids when he does repairs. I told DH that he is married to me - if she chooses to live in that home than she is responsible for repairs - it is still half hers. If she wants to move, the landlord will be responsible. He totally agrees. Any comments?
Sounds like ya'll handled it
Sounds like ya'll handled it well. Just have DH keep calling her bluff when she acts out of turn.
Wow Just - cutting their
Wow Just - cutting their grass for them!? That is crazy! DH is a contractor so he is capable of any repairs she might need. I just let him know what your idea was (taking money off child support or other money owed) in exchange for home repairs and he is going to call her with that offer, lol. He is literally going to tell her to make a list of what needs to be done and he'll provide her with a cost estimate/contract that she can sign and he'll take the cost off of some money he owes her (because he made the mistake of agreeing to $2500 child support, non-guideline) on a $4300 a month income. Thats being taken care of in one week (back to court).
My FH offered to do the home
My FH offered to do the home repairs but failed to get a contract. Ended up on the hook for a $900.00 sink. Not the installation or the parts - just the actual sink itself. And he was SURPRISED! Said that she had never had such expensive taste before and did not expect her to pick something so extravagant. Idiot!!!!
As long as he owns the house
As long as he owns the house with her he is responsible for it's upkeep too. Sell the house. Make her and kids move to her own dif house.
Or realize as long as they share property they share responsibility and suck it up. Sorry of that's harsh, not intended to be.
No, it's 1/2 his...but if she
No, it's 1/2 his...but if she chooses to live there, then she pays repairs and does repairs on her own. If he owned it 100% like a normal owner, he would be responsible...if she lives there and owns 1/2, it's up to her...ridiculous! But I agree it needs to sell and she needs to get out.
Yeah, the house is half DH's,
Yeah, the house is half DH's, but she chooses to live there and takes all of the mortgage deductions. He told her before we met that he would take the house if she wanted him to since she hates it so much. She chose not to and so now she needs to take care of it. Just like she would need to no matter where she lived, unless the landlord agreed to upgrades. The house isn't in disrepair - it just needs things like refinishing of the floors, paint, and I think she had him fix a cupboard hinge once.
DH and I live in a house that I bought before I met him. I wanted to put in wood flooring, travertine, a spa, and a bunch of other upgrades. DH and I have totally separate bank accounts right now until the whole child support/other house issue is sorted. I decided it made more sense to hire him to do the work for me than someone else, plus I know he'll do an amazing job and throw in a few extras because he lives here. It was a bargain. However, I can tell you that she is darn well NOT getting free repairs or upgrades if I am paying for them. Doesn't matter really anyway - she has decided that she doesn't want him at the house at all in retaliation for a bunch of recent court actions (and my emails - guess all that "get a real job" stuff hit home). I know her though - as soon as she needs something she'll act all sweet and ask him to do it "for the kids benefit". I will go through the roof if he gets suckered into doing anything for her.
My dh almost went down that
My dh almost went down that path too until i pointed out that he didn't have time to do things at our house let alone for anyone else. He met me with the argument that it was for the kids, I told him that doing things in our house is for the kids too. }:)
He did install her computer for her but that was b/c she kept asking and asking and asking, so dh told her that if he was to do it for her that purple would be coming too. She said ok I was so surprised. So went and after ward I told dh never again, it was too uncomfortable. He agreed and we haven't been back to her house since.
It was soon after that that we started doing pick up and drop off half way. It was me again that got that through dh's head that we can't go an hour out of our way to pick them up. He was doing her favor for years by picking them up at her house but every time we needed a favor in regards to pick up or drop off it was HELL NO! I started to put my foot down and he finally agreed.