This is my first time posting on this forum, but I have been a reader for some time now.  I am a SM for two SSs that are 7 and 11.  The kids previously lived 10 hours away until I agreed to move with my bf over two years ago so that he could be closer to them.  This was not an easy move, but I knew it was best for the kids and my bf. Now, we have them every weekend and any holidays or breaks as well.  This weekend was business as usual when the eldest mentioned his mom was planning to move them out of state.  Apparently, her job is in "jeopardy" again, and she wants to go back to where she lived years ago before the divorce. You can imagine the initial reaction, and I have to say that my feelings haven't changed much since either. To top it all off, we found out that BM and her new husband have had the "sniffles and fever" for over a week now, and SS was sent home from school last week due to an episode of vomiting and supposed fever. Normally, this wouldn't be much cause for concern, but they live in one of the first affected areas for COVID 19 , and the kids were spouting off all kinds of misinformation last weekend about not being able to catch the virus and that it doesn't affect kids.   This is pretty standard for their BM as she has little to no understanding or regard for medicine or her children's health. When SS was sent home, BM told him not to tell anyone he was sick. SS pleaded with us to not address it with BM stating he worried he would end up in trouble for telling us. As it turns out, BM did in fact instruct her kids to lie about illness in an effort to avoid harassment. She's a real peach, that one. As an aside... this is SS's m.o. He oftentimes plays both sides of the fence and thinks he is a master of reverse psychology, but I digress...  Both parents have joint legal and physical custody.  BM is the primary custodial as they spend the weekdays with her. About a year ago, she moved the kids in with a man she had known and dated for one month. She lied and said she knew him longer, but it was nonsense. She married him a few months ago on their one year anniversary (that confirmed the length of their familiarity).  The kids have been on a super rollercoaster through all of this. They have moved and changed schools multiple times and now live with a man they hardly know. Since BM's latest and third marriage, she is feeling a bit more empowered to do what she wants, i.e. she now has more money. I could go on and on about all the batshit things she has done and how she waves the supermom flag, but never lives up to it.... how she never avoids the chance to do the wrong thing with them and always puts herself first.  That said, what I am realizing since this announcement is how much happier we were before we moved closer. That goes for him too. I know he missed his kids and would drive and fly day and night to see them, BUT we have been so tied up in her b.s. and the effect it has had on those kids. She view us as a sitter every.single.weekend and now she wants to rip them up again and start over hundreds of miles away. Part of me wants to just sit back and let it happen bc it would be easier and I can't change it anyway. Then there is the part that is furious bc I dropped everything and moved bc it was the "right thing."  I had my eyes wide open when I did it and take full responsibility. I guess I'm just curious what others think in regard to just counting my blessings or maybe even getting out now anyway.   Since moving closer, our relationship is worse. I'm depressed most of the time. It has been a constant struggle. The eldest had major behavioral issues that the BM wouldn't address. The youngest hid his emotions until now when he started becoming very argumentative and smartass. Both have learning issues, and the youngest has a speech problem that the BM won't address. He was actually in speech therapy until she pulled him stating "it wasn't working."  Again, could go on and on and on. I do love my bf. I love the kids. The "but" is that I have never been married and never had kids. I have a good career, albeit that has been disrupted also. I guess I'm wondering if there really is ever a time to stay in this sort of shit. It isn't the kids' fault, but hell, it isn't mine either. I keep reading the same thing over and over about all the guilt the dads have and how they can never fully understand how difficult the SM position is.  I'm living it. It doesn't seem he will ever understand how hard this is and how we have no control but are expected to give sooo much of ourselves. Thoughts from those that have been here???