The limiting sugar and carb.....yes. They are over weight and that's not healthy. Even if they are majority with bm, you guys need to do what you can to get the skids to a healthy weight.

The gluten free.....that's up to you. Unless they have health issues that gluten might be aggrivsting then there's no reason you have to follow BMS preference.

Just make sure your decisions are in the skids best interest, and not to spite bm and you will be fine.

You could go along in the sheer interest of health, but me thinks this is just another "controlling from afar" scheme. . .make sure you print out OODLES of articles on low carb diets and send the skids back with them. "Just thought we'd be on the same page" "Thought you might find this article interesting"

Be sure to clip a few coupons for gluten-free items and by "a few" I mean handfuls. It could be a fun family project!

The proof will be in the non-fat pudding!! Doubt she will stick to it for more than a week!

Also if the skids complain, say that "we want you to be healthy" Watch for the "but mom serves us KFC nuggets on Krispy Kremes.

It sounds like she's just trying to control what goes on in your household. My SD's BM loves trying to do that too. In this specific case though being that the skids truly are overweight, it is a health issue and I do think you and your DH should try to encourage them to eat healthy. I wouldn't go by BM's specific diet, though. You know what is healthy and what is not. You don't need her input on that one.

I agree with the others. Do what is in the best interest of the kids. Pick healthy options if they are over weight. If no Dr has said anything about being "gluten free" I wouldn't bother. It is just a craze for most people. She can't dictate what you have in your home but on the other side if she is worried about it, take it into consideration if it might benefit the kids.

Errrr I am guilty of doing this with bedtime. During the school year my son hardly every sees his dad, except on breaks, etc. Last time I asked that he stick to his bedtime. Ex lets BS stay up super late watching movies and playing video games. In my home BS goes to sleep at a set bedtime, 30 minutes later on a weekend or vacation night. I have to be so strict about it because if not BS is a TOTAL terror. He would probably make most of your BMs and teenage skids look like angels.

Sad thing I lived like this for years where BS had a crappy bedtime and he was always tired and mean, etc and seriously I was clueless and didnt put 2 and 2 together. Once I did, I was like OMG BS's attitude is sooooooooo much better. It made me feel so guilty that I didnt do an earlier bedtime before.

Then he would go to his dad's and he would get off schedule and it was ME that was dealing with the fall out from it and it was awful.

Eventually I just told Ex, BS NEEDS an early and strict bedtime and you need to help him with it. So I guess I was dictating what goes on in his house but I was doing it for the good of BS.

Thankfully Ex and I are on the same page when it comes to food/diet. We dont allow a lot of junk food in our house anyways.

The worst thing DH can do is ask the BM for "advice" on their diet, etc. The "controlling-from-afar" PASinator BM will see this as a sign of weakness on DH's part and revel in it. It will show her that DH is willing to relinquish his parenting power over to her. Something to be avoided at all costs. Guilty Daddy made this mistake many moons ago--even phoning up the BM and asking her for TYLENOL DOSAGES!!! :jawdrop:

She knew she had him on the ropes then.

If the skids are to be on a special diet, I'd have DH tell BM that if it isn't Doctor ordered that she'll have to provide said gluten free diet food.

BM tried to tell us that we don't feed the skids the foods they like and we needed to provide "their" food. DH told her that if she was dictating in our home then she'd have to furnish the foods they will eat. Chicken nuggets, fish sticks, mac n cheese and frozen pizza is all they'd eat. We do not fill our fridge with crap food. They either eat what is served or go hungry, sooner or later they'd eat what is served. DH does not play those games.

Gluten free diets aren't necessarily healthier, it's just become the new diet craze. And it really isn't suggested unless you sincerely can't digest gluten. Plus good luck to her trying to get the kids to follow that kind of diet since gluten-free foods taste like cardboard. If she pushes the gluten thing, tell her you're not putting the kids on such a restrictive diet without a doctor's note.

If the kids are over weight, then it would be good for everyone to make healthier choices.

The problem is, is if they are eating gluten free with her the majority of the time and then they come to your house and eat gluten it could make them have a physical reaction or make them ill.

Limit carbs and sugars? Yes. Gluten, sure you can limit it but why? Allergies or newest craze?

I really get tired of people saying "eat healthier foods" but ignoring the portion control issues. Guess what you can still get fat eating healthy foods.

I know a lot of people in the natural food industry that have not touched processed foods or anything with additives in the last 30 years. Some are even vegetarians. Organic food is a must for them. But I also know more than one that is literally 100 pounds overweight. Too much of anything is bad.