The Birthday Party.
The party was strange when I got there BM wasnt there yet, and my FH still hadnt gotten off the boat yet, (I just got of the phone with him) FMIL was PISSED at me that FH wasnt there yet. A little while later BM shows up, sporting a "homemade" (as she called it) cake. with they hard letter things you can buy at the grocrey store spelling out Happy Birthday. and SHE ATTEMPTED TO MAKE IT CAMO..in other words in my mind it looks like mulit-colored toddler Sh*T. Needless to say something broke on FH boat so he needed to get it fixed quickly and then he would be over. FH didnt make it untill 8:30 and BM and SS8 had already left. (I left around 6:30 to go to the wharf to see if FH needed some help or what not) well apparently while I was gone FMIL must have been bitch*n up a storm because BM calls FH this morning and starts with "Well I don't want to start anything but when SS8 and I got home last night he was so mad, he blames readysetnot on the fact that you didnt show up untill after we left)
So I droped off the cake and the veggies, left to go see if FH needed anything, It made more sense for him to follow me home so he could take a shower before going to his moms house. (You would want a shower to if you were baiting up a boat with dead fish) Also so that way we could take one vehicle because FMIL lives about 30minutes away.
Well we finally got there and lone behold the veggies havnt even been opened and my cake was sitting there untoched. FMIL was giving FH a really bad attitude and wouldnt even talk to me. I'm not sure what to do. The world could blow up and SS8 would blame me for it!! I'm just so sick of BM and FMIL talking sh*t about e whenever i'm not around. I know they do because sometimes ss8 is fine and other times i'm juast counting the seconds untill he goes home. FMIL and BM want me to have abtter relationship with SS8 but how can I do that if they are constantly putting me down..? So I have decided i'm going to have a chat with FH and see if maybe we can't work it out where, on the weekends that he has SS8 i'll just leave for the weekend, and any family events he has at his mothers house i'll just excuess myself, i'm tierd of trying to make them like me and accept me. I'm tierd of trying to hard with SS8 and having everything just blow up in my face. i'm not sure how FH will take it when I tell him I dont want anything to dow ith his family I know thats bad, but I really do love FH and I don't want to leave him but if I can just skip the weekends and his family events with his mother I know my mood/relationship would improve ALOT.
SS8 was mad that your FH
SS8 was mad that your FH didn't show up to HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY till after SS8 and BM left? Sheesh...
And that was awfully sh*tty of FMIL to give FH attitude. It wasn't his fault that he was late etc. Besides, this was supposed to HIS birthday party.
I think FH will have to be the one to tell the family how things are going to be from this point onward. He needs to tell them that they need to stop including BM on family events that DO NOT CENTER AROUND THE KIDS. Also, why should YOU have to go away on the EOW that he has SS8? Again, FH will have to address SS8 directly on the fact that he's marrying you, and will be civil and respectful towards you. FH cant control what FMIL or BM are saying about you so the best thing to do would be for him to talk to SS8.
I am sorry that the evening
I am sorry that the evening did not go a swell as you had hoped. First of all, I think that you need to have aserious talk with your FH and explain to him how much his son's and his mother's behavior hurt you. He should get on the phone to his mother pronto and put her in her place!! He should also explain to his son that nothing that happened was your fault - if anything it was his for showing up late.
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
I agree with above, that you
I agree with above, that you need to talk to DH about this. Does he realize the big picture that you shared with us? You don't want to seem like you're the one being irrational. Your MIL is crazy. I think he should know the details, starting from yesterday. As far as SS, unfortunately you can only avoid him temporarily. The MIL you can avoid as much as you like, and probably should. I wish things could have gone better at the party.
Take some comfort in the fact that you irked MIL
The fact that she refused to touch or serve your beautiful cake or veggie platter shows how much your culinary abilities irked her! So you did accomplish something! Plus the dismail failure of this party also gave you even more ammunition to take it over next time. Just remind FH of how "well" this last event went if he waffles when you are eplanning the next one! After all FMIL seemed so upset that it's only right that you relieve her from hosting these future events!
Seriously....
Its time fh puts his foot down.... This has gotten way out of hand and is not going to get better unless fh puts an end to it NOW.
BM should NOT be invited to "family events" with fh's family.... If mil wants to get together with bm on her own time.... fine... theres nothing you could do about that.... but if mil wants to envite bm to "family events" then you and fh should opt out every time and tell mil exactly why you are not attending (fh should be the one to tell her.
mil should not be allowed to treat you with anything less than common courtsey, cordial respect.... SS should not be allowed to show disrespect in any manner toward ANY adult especially a 'parent' figure.
FH needs to buck up and put an end to this.
FH boat issue
Something did break ont he boat, it has to do with the watter being pumped out, so I went down to the wharf to see if he needed me to go into town or something just in case he needed an extra set of hands.