Bio parents: Wondering what type of contribution YOU expect from someone you date?
Forums:
I'm just wondering to see if who I'm with has realistic/standard expectations for me as a SM.
- Do you expect them to take 50% of the responsibility of your child as a bio parent would?
- Do you expect them to change their schedule according to you/your childs schedule, and if so, how often?
- Do you expect them to contribute to 50% of the costs of raising your child?
- Do you expect them to babysit, and if so, how often?
- Do you expect them to love your child as much as you do?
Basically I'm looking to see what's expected of a stepparent and what you feel would be too high of expectations. Do you expect the same of a stepparent that doesn't have biological children? Any input is welcome 
Update: When they do babysit,
Update: When they do babysit, contribute to costs, etc... Do you see it as helpful or an obligation? Does this change depending on the age of the child?
My only expectation is that
My only expectation is that my kids are at minimum not treated rudely when in our home. They are my responsibility. DH does more for them than I would ever expect, but I have never asked him to. My kids are older, so some things (babysitting, etc) don't really come in to play at all for me as a BM.
I'm asking about obligations
I'm asking about obligations and expectations. Not once in a while being in a bind and needing help, that's something I'm happy to do. No, this is more of "we're supposed to be a family, it shouldn't be a big deal to pick her up from daycare every night and babysit her on weekends instead of going out." lol something I'm slowly putting an end to.. I just keep having doubts whether or not it's harsh for me to flat-out say no to these types of obligations and expectations so I wanted to see what other people thought.
Sorry. That's probably it.
Sorry. That's probably it. Just feeling really confused and uncertain lately. Thanks for the feedback.
I took care of my niece on
I took care of my niece on several occasions when her parents decided to go out of the country. My niece lived about 900 miles away from me. She would fly to see me either in my home or at someplace like Disneyworld.
I felt no obligation to do this. But I loved her to pieces and loved getting to spend time with her. Again it was voluntary - not expected.
Wait. I thought you broke up
Wait. I thought you broke up with him 2 weeks ago? Or rather he dumped you when you insisted he do things for himself? His announcement that he doesn't want you if you don't taxi his kid daily wasn't enough for you to understand exactly what his "love" for you consists of? Oh, and his smarmy refusal to vacate in a timely fashion?
Somehow he was able to sweet talk you after that? Wow. Smooth talker.
For the record to answer your question, I have no children of my own. Dh has 2. He does not expect me to do a single thing for them except allow for their existence in his life. He never actually asks me to babysit or pick them up or cook or clean. If I OFFER to do these things he falls all over himself thanking me. He asks me at least 5 times if I really can/should/want to do it, giving me all these chances to opt out. He buys me a ridiculous amount of jewelry cuz he can't stop himself from showering me with his feelings of love and gratitude. He takes my car to get gas in it. He does dishes.
And, yanno, he has a great job and a driver's license.