BF visitation
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My ex informed me that he moved in with his GF, 4th time in a year and stated that from now on the mid-week visitation they will be dropped off at his parents and stay there, without him, and then will be at his house on the weekends. Can he do that, just give them to his parents? If they aren't even going to see him, do I have to force them to go. The last time they stayed there his mother forced my seven year old to stay in bed even though he was crying he had t pee, until he peed the bed. This woman has also left my kids standing by themselves in the middle of a fair while she walked off to get beer and go to the bathroom.
Wow.. I would think that if
Wow.. I would think that if the dad doesnt want to exercise HIS visitation rights, that he has no business reassigning his rights to ANYONE.
I would say no. Let him bring you to court over it.. but make sure you have in writing that HE didnt want them on his day, but rather wanted to assign his visitation to his mother.. I bet THAT doesnt go over well in court!!!
I do have it in an email
I do have it in an email with headers attached. Problem is we just went through this whole court thing with him fighting for his visitation because he assaulted our middle child in front of me the last time he picked them up in Nov. So now I have to let him take the kids so I guess I'll have to let this happen until I can go back to court and ask for something to be done about this.
Can you contact a lawyer and
Can you contact a lawyer and just ask them if he is giving up HIS visitation and wants it assigned to his mom, if you have to give your children over to his mom or can you keep them on the basis that HE didnt want them.
I'm waiting for them to call
I'm waiting for them to call me back. I'll let you guys know what they say. He never spends time with the kids anyway, so I don't know why he even bothers other than to annoy me. When he takes them he always leaves them with his mom apparently anyway and goes to his girlfriends house.
He had a fit about getting them for the president's day holiday, so I put it on the calendar and then put down that I was going out of town, so he of course has now canceled that visitation.
Here's what you do. You
Here's what you do. You DON'T bring the kids to his parents' house, period. Wait for him to bring you to court about it.
That's what I'd do anyways.
The only problem is, if I
The only problem is, if I don't show up at the gas station to drop off the kids to him he can call the police and have them force me to release them. Unless of course that email is proof enough of his intent not to exercise his visitation.
Here's the thing...
Unless you have it in the order that each parent must give the other the right of first refusal, then there is nothing stopping him from leaving the kids with his parents. Just like there is nothing stopping YOU from leaving the kids overnight with YOUR parents when it is YOUR time with the kids. If you deny him this, then he can turn around and fight you anytime you chose to leave your child with anyone other than him. Visitation is what it is. It's time for the NCP to have the care, custody and control of his/her minor children. The CP doesn't always agree with decisions that the NCP makes, but if they agreed on everything, then they would probably still be together. As long as your children are returned to you clothed, fed and safe and as long as there's nothing in the order stating they cannot be left overnight with his parents, I don't think there's a thing you can do about it, except try to keep on good terms with him and his parents.
no way
My ex's parents lived in their RV about 30 minutes from him one way and me 30 minutes the other way for 2 summers. My ex almost always worked Friday night - swing shift - whatever that is - so he would ask that I drop our daughter off with his parents and he would come over on Saturday to be with her. His mother could make the dead nervous and my daguther hates being alone with her. Grandma stated right in front of me for grandpa to take granddaughter with him because granddaughter does not like to stay with her. Daughter will not eat what grandma makes her grandpa has to do it.
Sorry a little off subject. Anyway, the only reason I dropped her off with the grandparents is because it was one less chance of having BD verbally annoy me or be super rude. Plus I had to work the weekends she was with BF and if I didn't drop her off I could not work on Saturday. Who is picking the kids up? Grandparent or dad? If he is the one picking them up then it is up to him where they stay during his time. I would not drop them off at the grandparents house. Generally custody orders state plaintiff and respondent - not whoever picks up the kids this time - so you should follow the order. I fis says meet at gas station, do that, and do whatever it says regarding drop offs and pick up. Pretty it states he is to pick up the kids. You do not have to release them to anyone else.
FYI - I still meet the gradndparents from time to time for visitation and grandpa is nice but grandma is cold and very rude to me. Keep in mind she is a good chritian woman - does drink, smoke, dance, wears pants,......all their grown kids have drinking problems, smoke and lived with people before married, etc....
My biggest concerns with the
My biggest concerns with the kids being with his mother is that this woman sat there and watched my oldest when he was four and let him grab her electric fence and then just said "bet you don't do that again!" and then left him in his urinated clothes (the shock made him pee of course) for three hours until he came home, slapped him in the face, hard, when he was two right in front of me for opening his mouth, and on numerous occasions left one or both of my sons standing alone in the middle of county and state fairs while she went for beer or to pee. While we were together we agreed she at no time should be alone with our kids because she doesn't have enough common sense to keep them safe. Plus then her making my middle son pee the bed a couple of weeks ago just ticked me off more, he has kidney issues and goes frequently and had already gone once that night so she told him he was lying and didn't have to go.
However, I talked to their BF last night when I dropped the kids off and told him my concerns he agreed but said he had little choice as he has to work and he said she isn't allowed to take them anywhere. So I didn't complain and just said to remember anything that happens to the children during his times of visitation is on his head regardless if he is there or not and left it at that.
No use in arguing this point as I know my ex-mother-in-law and this set up wont last for long, doesn't care for kids.