So I haven’t posted in a while. My stepdaughter is now 13.      Her mom and I have been together since she was 5.   Married since she’s 7.   Her bio father is basically not in her life. He’s a drug addict and alcoholic who lives either in flophouse-like apartments or the city mission. We started having trouble at home about two years ago. With her being very rude to me.  Telling me she doesn’t have to listen to me because we “aren’t even related”.  My wife constantly made excuses for her behavior.  That did get a little better for a few months.  I’ll admit sometimes when my stepdaughter was very rude to me, I said some pretty mean things back.  I’m NOT proud of that and have worked to bite my tough better. That has improved in part year or so.  I’m certainly not a perfect stepdad.  But I’m stable, consistent, loving and supportive.  Nobody ever has to worry about me being reliable and consistent in my duties as a parent. Most of the major expenses related to my stepdaughter, my wife does cover.  However, she is extremely involved in high level travel softball and I’ve contributed many thousands of dollars to that.  Along with being very present and supportive of her with thst......and everything she does. I arrange my work schedule so as to be able to go with her and her mom to her travel softball tournaments thst have us out of town most every weekend in summer. So I’m a very very committed stepdad.  Well things have only gotten worse with her telling me “you’re not my father” on a number of occasions.  Tonight she didn’t get to sleep over at a friends house, and a big part of reason is o voiced real concerns about the friend.  Her mother faked a lease agreement to get them in our school district. Then got caught and did get an apartment in school district.  Many people at the school have told me the kid is sketchy and sneaky and a potential bad influence.  So my wife went along with my suggestion she didn’t let her sleep over.  Well when my wife picked her up tonight and got home I came out to living room to see my wife in tears.  My wife told my stepdaughter that she’s unhappy at home and it’s modtkt my fault.  I make the house unhappy.  She then came out of her room when I was talking to her mom and told me not to bother her mom and that she wanted me to just leave.  Like leave for good.  Then she went back to her room.  I asked my wife what she thought of the kid speaking to me thst way and she said some of If was related to arguing in the house and me having said mean things to stepdaughter when her and I argued in past.  The other part my white chalked up to just being a mouthy teenager.  My wife’s implication being I just had to put up with it. Well I shortly after broke down on verge of tears myself and went for a drive.  I thought to myself “why am I putting up with this??”   “There no way I can go through all of this kids teenage years dealing with this, being spoken to like this!”     

Can snyone gibe me some suggestions???   I’m really for the first time contemplating getting out of this situation. I know thst would mean essentially not having my wife or stepdaughter I’m my line pretty much at all anymore.  That really saddens and frightens me but I’m sooo hurt by all this.  Please help!!