Anyone else sick of bio parents contradictions?
"You can't parent my child" " you can't discipline my child"....
Sick to death of hearing this and seeing this posted in forums, step parents have such a bad rep.
Just the other day scrolling through tik tok the amount of kids who were slating their step parents (kids who were obviously poisoned against their step parent) saying things like "you can't tell me what to do" yet I bet half of these people raised them provided for them due to one of their bio parents being a total fucktard.
I remember asking for advice on reddit the amount of people who turned around and said "he's not yours!" Was absolutely shocking. I know they're not mine thank god but cut me some slack as I'm here to get advice about how to help the child and his behavioral problems when his parents aren't.
It's like they dont want you to parent but at the same time you're expected to raise them!!
YES!
This is the exact contradiction in approaches that led to SD23 turning into the mess that she is today. She is now in therapy.
The adults (Bios, SP, Grands etc) - all need to be on the same page. Often, this is not the case and the SKs are used as pawns to try and damage BioDad particularly by HCBM. Sadly, the person that is damaged most by HCBM is not BioDad but SK.
Responsibility without
Responsibility without authority.
My mantra that lead directly to my disengagement.
Yes... BM will contradict the
Yes... BM will contradict the things we do with SS... DH will contradict how we parent DD relative to SS... it's obnoxious.
Geez
I hear you. I used to get the wrath from some of my friends on how I should be with my ex SD. Basically poor lil COD deserves love and kindness even when she used to tell me to go f*ck myself. I needed more compassion. Yeah ok, so when I wash the lil B's mouth out with soap I will do it with love. For the record I never washed her mouth out with soap, but dang I fantasized about doing that many many times.
My college BFF used to give us a hard time about
How strict we were in parenting SS. Then he became a dad to a daughter he could not even take out in public she was so I'll behaved.
She is now 13 and just beginning to be presentable to the public. He now laments thet he did not emulate how we patented.
I came into the step
I came into the step-parenting minefield late enough that I thankfully dodged the "trying too hard" bullet, for the most part, not completely. I signed up on step forums right off the bat and learned what pitfalls to avoid from the old timers plus I was too busy with my own bios to give a crap about taking on someone else's spoiled bratty kids, especially middle school aged kids that were brainwashed by a bitter, nutter BM, and I don't say that lightly because I am big on being a woman that supports other women but not in BM's case, her domesticly violent ass earns a spot in forever burning hell fire. Did I mention I don't like or respect her? Her kids didn't fall far from the tree, annoying AF
My favorite is "you can't
My favorite is "you can't parent my child!" Followed by "you have to love them like your own!"
I was also regularly told I "wasn't family" and had no right attending school events, but then was expected to help them with schoolwork. BM even sent me a message via LinkedIn, after she looked me up and saw that I worked in education, asking me to help "motivate" SS to learn. She and MIL also thought I should be tutoring SSs...
To the kids saying their stepparents can't tell them what to do...hope they also believe that the stepparent has no responsibility to pay for anything for them and their parent has to contribute to joint household needs before paying for extras for their precious cherubs.
No. I left my step
My favorite is letting it be known that you cannot discipline their child nor are you allowed to be involved in parenting decisions yet you are expected to pay for their kids, cook for them, drive them around, and babysit them. I left my step relationship months ago. No more dealing with the hypocritical, narcissistic, users who constantly contradict themselves. I refused to be treated like a doormat and free nanny. You should too.