Anyone else here ready to throw in the towel??
The saying that comes to mind is no one can take advantage of you without your permission. Honestly I wish I had the strength to leave years ago. Financially I'm fine but had no family support(only child both parents passed away years ago) and was scared to make the move to leave.I think if I had my own place how much better things would be. I offen find myself thinking how wonderful it would be to be able to come home from work relax and not have to keep an eye on SK in fear of SK "hurting" one of my animals. How wonderful it would be not to have to "hide" certain things before SK comes over for a visit otherwise they would disappear never to be seen again. Not having to deal with disrespectful brats and a BD who "pretends" not to hear what they say to me when he's standing in the same room. Weekends without stress or worry of how to get SK to cooperate with our plans. Even a simple dinner out would be canceled if SK did not want to go. Don't know sometimes I think single and alone is better...
I don't think there is
I don't think there is anything wrong with being alone.
I would rather be alone, than be with the wrong person, a person who doesn't make me happy or even care about my happiness. At least then, I would have the chance to meet somebody to share my life with, rather than just prodding along, feeling like an outsider in my own relationship.
Having to worry about my animals, or hide things, or have my plans revolve around a step kid, would just not be acceptable to me.
I don't blame you for wanting out.
I know how you feel. How many
I know how you feel. How many years has it been? It’s never too late to change your life.
I DID throw in the towel...
And due to having a baby 5 months previous, and my formerSO gaslighting me into not going back to work right away, not holding up his end of the bargin by paying my bills timely, etc. I was NOT in a good financial place. I did it anyway! To protect myself and my babyBS from either torment, abusive behavior and generally nastiness.
It was HARD financially for several months, but the emotional and physical peace was AMAZING. Not having to constantly be stressed out was WONDERFUL. It is truly remarkable what living in constant stress does to your health.
Having your child witness the abuse you receive and the general bad behaviors on a regular basis, with you "unable" to do anything about it sets a bad example of how relationships and "normal" life should be. Do something about it and teach your child it is not acceptable to let somone treat you like that - or they will let someone treat them like that. You are teaching your child that it is ok.
I know it's hard, but being single is DEFINATELY better than what I was dealing with!
Good luck!
I have my own place. DH and I
I have my own place. DH and I are 100% committed to each other. He has difficult children so he doesn’t blame me for wanting my own place. I do visit them and have dinner with them once in a while. Those times are a hit or miss. Some dinners are enjoyable. Some I could do without because SD sometimes has a nasty attitude. When I lived with them I was also worried about skids touching my things, ruining the mood with their bad attitudes, their uncleanliness, their fighting with each other, disrespecting their dad, attention seeking. So glad I can just come home and relax now. I’m too old for that bullsh*t. Now DH and I get alone time at my place and leave the teenage skids alone at their dads divorce house.
The past few weeks have not
The past few weeks have not been easy for me-I am working really hard becauseI need every penny just now, and I feel as if I'm in three 'bits' between the house I'm selling with the X,the flat I'm renting,andthe house I'm buying so I can start my new life in comfort. When I left the X I didn't know what to expect, and I'm pretty tired most of the time, but I'm going somewhere...
I do wonder if I had have moved nearer to the X but not moved in with him things would be very different- but there is no going back now.
I will get there, and it is better than I expected it really would be. I threw in the towel, I don't regret it one bit!
He would NEVER go for us staying together as a couple but
living separately. We have been together for over 7 years. I was always hoping once the SKS got older things would get better. Some issues got better but only to be replaced by new ones. They have such bad behavioral problems even though they have been on meds and therapy for years with not much help. I don't see how these kids will be able to function as productive adults. I keep hoping one day a light will just click on them and they will turn the corner but its yet to happen. Then there is Bio mom from hell. Again thought as the kids got older she would have less contact with us...WRONG again. She has no life so she makes it her life to try and control our household and tell us when the kids should go to bed, what they should eat, what they should where ect....OH yes "harming animals" there is that....SK is going into middle school so hes old enough to know how to treat animals. Its always in a sneaky way where he will say "he's just playing". Like spraying the dog full force in the face with the water hose after hes been told not to. Or kicking the dog to get the ball away from him. Or going up to the sleeping cat and screaming. I've spoken to Bio dad about this and he was just like boys do stuff like that...well if it was my kid I don't care he would get the hose in his face!
Psycho kids
get worse, not better. You might need to take your animals and just do it, for them. Their safety. And see how it goes. If your DH cannot control his kid, then all bets are off anyway, do you really want a lifetime of this?