Anyone else been illegally taken advantage of by domestic relations?
SO got a lawyer a few weeks ago to file for 50/50 custody of his two daughters (2 different BMs). Before the lawyer filed for custody, she reviewed his child support cases. Turns out domestics had been taking hundreds of dollars from him illegally every month! When BM#2 took him back for modification a little over a year ago, they said they could only backdate his support to when BM filed for modification, which was a month prior to the meeting. Well, the caseworker ended up backdating it an entire 7 extra months!
SO finally got a letter from domestics today stating that all his back support is gone now (should have been gone MONTHS ago even though just last month he still "owed" $600something on BM#2's case...) and that BM#2's support was lowered $250 a month because of it. He got back over $2000 that they had taken from him illegally and this never would have been discovered if his lawyer didn't do extra research. Anyone else been screwed over like this before?
Not to be mean or anything,
Not to be mean or anything, but didn't he grab the calculator and calculate the amount that should be coming out... then compare it to the check stubs? They shouldn't be able to take out extra but at what point is he accountable for making sure it's right?
I always operate under the assumption that it's my money and I'm not paying an extra penny so I'll make sure it's right every time. You don't usually get it back.
They were taking so much
They were taking so much money that he couldn't afford to file to have anything changed. It took him a year to find a lawyer that would help him with no money. He was literally bringing home so little money after child support was taken out of his checks that he couldn't even afford his $700/m rent anymore.
sooo....you supported him? I
sooo....you supported him? I hope he's handing that check over directly to you.
lol no that money has gone to
lol no that money has gone to his lawyer to pay her fees. His mother and I both helped support him and yes he will be paying back his mother, but I don't expect any sort of payback.
Please don't get caught in
Please don't get caught in that trap. I stupidly allowed biodad to move in with me BEFORE I found out he had every intention of OVERPAYING the BM out of guilt due to not living under the same roof as the skids anymore. And in the bargain--living off of ME!
It's been over ten years and he has another ten years to go till the youngest turns 21 (he'll be 11 tomorrow--in NY it's 21 not 18 when CS stops)
He doesn't appreciate it one iota but EXPECTS that I support him while he brings home half of what average unemployment benefits would be. Out of sheer LOVE for him of course. :barf:
It was actually worse earlier when he was paying the BM his ENTIRE salary with OVERTIME DIRECTLY DEPOSITED to her account as she had convinced him that he owed her his entire salary for the rest of his life due to the breakup--and he bought it!!
He now figures it's MY PRIVILEGE for him to grace me with his presence. Watch his attitude toward you VERY.CLOSELY from here on out. Like the old saying: "Do a little more each day and each day a little more will be expected."
I appreciate the warning I
I appreciate the warning
I am fairly certain SO isn't like that though. He's stubborn to the bone and fights everyone every time they attempt to help him financially. All aid we have given him has pretty much been shoved down his throat. He went from being self sufficient being able to support himself, his ex, and their daughter all on his income alone to not being able to do anything for himself. I see how much he hurts from it and I just don't think he'd ever take advantage of someone like that.
What you expect shouldn't
What you expect shouldn't matter. A decent man would pay you back no questions asked.
You're right, and maybe he
You're right, and maybe he will. But it's not something I will be upset about if it doesn't happen.
When OSD graduated HS neither
When OSD graduated HS neither BM or DH went back and got the CS re-evaluated for like a year. (Dumb asses) So DH had a credit because he was paying BM for a kid that had aged out. They sent him a few checks and then the rest they just kept on the books.
Thankfully so because the following year SS graduated and the dumb asses (BM and DH) did the same thing. This time though DH owed BM. Thankfully he was able to use his credit to pay down some of what he owed BM but he still owes her arrears.
But yes, he got a few checks.
I can't believe anyone just
I can't believe anyone just keeps paying long past the end date in the court order. we have watched and counted down the days with each kids cs and alimony in order to make sertain we never pay one penny more than was ordered. How can people have so much extra money that they just keep paying for months after the cs check was required.
To the OP - cs reviews are free. if there was too much being withheld, he only had to go to the cs review board and ask for a review.