Anyone dealing with multiple BM's?
Okay, so I am a stepmom dealing with 4 kids and they don't all have the same mom. Dealing with one BM can be stressful, but I deal with 3! I know, not the most ideal situation. And a lot of people that I know say that they wouldn't have even gotten involved with him knowing that. Unfortunately, 2 of the 3 pulled the whole "I can't get pregnant" bit or "I'm on birth control so don't worry." You see... his father was a millionaire and he is (was) the heir to all that. But I digress.
Anyway, when I met my DH, it didn't bother me that he had kids with other women or that there were 3 exes involved. But now that it has been a while and we have been married almost a year, I tend to get very upset with some of his life choices. I wished that he and other men like him would not believe women when they say they can't get pregnant... because a lot of women use pregnancies to hold on to men and relationships. But it doesn't work!!!!! (in most cases)
So, now what? Any advice out there from anyone like me who has to deal with the fact that their significant other was populating the earth with multiple women? How do you deal with the fact that your DH has kids with other women, doesn't want any more, and at any moment... your conversation, dinner, movie or whatever can be interrupted by multiple exes?
I honestly did not think that this was ever going to bother me as much as it has lately. Upsets me that he has had his "quota" of children with other women and doesn't want anymore. I don't have any. Grant it... I don't want any... never did. But what if I change my mind???
I know how you feel. My
I know how you feel. My husband also has four kids with three different women and I ask myself the same questions. I wonder how he could be so careless and irresponsible. One of them pulled the "I can't get pregnant" crap, but he willingly had kids with the other two. His youngest child came along when he and his ex were having marital problems. Why on earth would you bring another child into the world when you know that your marriage is going down the toilet? It makes no sense to me.
Thing is, I'm the only one who see's it that way. Him and his family say that they are all blessings and wouldn't have it any other way.
And I also get the interruptions at dinner, we have three BM's opinions of us, three sets of kids that are all jealous of each other, the list goes on.
My husband is actually willing to have more kids. Even though the time isn't right he wants one now, regardless of the fact we don't live in a big enough house, we can't fit another child into our budget and we rarely get any alone time. His mentality is have the kid and worry about the rest later.
I feel for you and you are not alone in your situation. Sometimes I wish there was only one BM to deal with and how life would be so much easier if he hadn't had a kid with every woman he got involved with. Now I'm here wanting a kid but logistically can't have one because we're already supporing four.
I'm sorry that your husband doesn't want any more, that must be hard for you. All I can say is sometimes our situations suck.
Hang in there!