I am getting really fed up with watching the BM emotionally damage a child that I am a SM to. At the moment, I have good relationship with the child as does his BD but with BM is doing, im pretty sure that sooner or later he won't be capable of having a good relationship with anyone. I was just wondering if anyone has any ideas on what to do to try to counteract some of this nonsense?

DH and her have a 50/50 schedule, but its staggered so that she has most of the school time and he has most of the non school time. My SS who is 4 comes every weekend, and for the most part he never mentions BM or her existence when he is here. Except for the summer, DH had him for 4 weeks continuously, then BM had 1 week, then DH had another 4 continuous weeks.

When SS arrived for his first 4 week block, he immediately began screaming that he wants his mommy. He worked himself into a pretty good frenzy over it at bedtime, and then he started screaming "My mommy is gone" "My mommy is dead" "You killed my mommy." This went on for about 3 days, after which he never mentioned her again.
Then he went to BM for a week, and came back for another 4 week block. Same thing happened. He immediately (the first day) began screaming "my mommy is gone, my mommy is dead, you killed my mommy" and then stopped after 2 days. Considering he has never done this before even though he comes for 3 days EVERY SINGLE WEEK, clearly BM tried to explain to him that he had to go to dads for a month by telling him that daddy was going to kill her and he would never see her again.

We did pretty good by trying to explain to SS what a lie is, why its bad to lie, and then every time his mom lied (practically every time she called) pointing out the lie to him. We also kept explaining where people or pets were when they left the room and how they were still there, and occasionally telling him where BM is, where grandpa is, where dad goes when he goes to work, and so on and so forth.

BM has now demonstrated her next brilliant stroke of pure nonsense. So the CO says each parent can call 3 times per week. They calls are all done via speakerphone because SS will not use a phone by himself yet. The BM calls every single day when SS is here even though SS mostly refuses to talk to her and she just says "mommy loves you mommy misses you" over and over again while ss screams "I don't want to talk to mommy." Or sometimes he says "I love you I miss you too okay bye now bye now mom!" The kid just doesn't like phones, especially since the calls from the BM would be awkward torture for anyone, especially considering they happen every single day, and every call sounds exactly the same. She really could just use a recording.
He actually talks when DH calls, because DH will talk about what hes doing or ask SS how his day was. So now shes come up with her next trick. I guess she hates it that SS won't talk to her when he's here but talks to DH when he's with her.

So now whenever DH calls, she takes SS's toys away, and tells him he must sit in his timeout chair as long as his father is on the phone. Now when DH calls SS screams while the BM is heard in the background going "you sit in that chair, you have to stay in the talk to daddy chair until daddy hangs up. No, no toys while talking to daddy. No, stay in the chair. You have to stay there until your father is done." To make matters worse, the way the schedule is built DH has a few 3 weeks periods where he doesn't see SS at all, he can't just not call for three weeks.

What does one do about this? She's not in contempt and I doubt this qualifies as something CPS would be concerned with. I mean, its disgusting despicable behavior on her part that im sure is going to mess poor SS up to no end, but we have no idea what to do about it. Neither me nor my DH. We're just kinda horrified and have our hands tied. Any ideas?