am i the only one who wonders how these selfish greedy bitches keep winning???

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my bf despises bm. he used to be alot nicer though to keep the peace, until she took him back to court without warning. she cheated on her current husband and then divorced him, so she was being extra nice, (all manipulative and fake) and calling all the time, trying to get my bf to meet her, talk to her about her personal problems, etc. he tried to be nice and keep it about the kids all at the same time. after she took him for all she could get (which really hurt us) he stopped being nice all together. she still tries, and can only get him to call when she says its the kids calling, he wont answer calls otherwise and only goes through text about stuff. so i guess im just feeling sorry for myself but every dime goes to her, now he workes longer hours, weekends, we have to put off some of our future plans and are basically working so hard just to make it. the kicker is she doesnt need the money!! why do stupid slutty greedy people seem to WIN all the time!

ugh

WOW!!! We are living the same

WOW!!! We are living the same life! BM gets 920.00 a month of my mans $$$. So of course our life/future is on hold as well all because she gets the majority of his hard earned money. BF doesnt want to work any OT because if he does then of course then she will get an increase in CS if she were to take him back to court! These poor men who try to do the RIGHT thing...JUST CAN'T WIN!!!

I am a BM also and until I got with my BF and saw all of the hell he/men go thru and how they have to live and not have much money because of these greedy pos BMs I feel ALOT more sorrier for men than women these days!!!

shes a complete narcissist

shes a complete narcissist too. she cant understand why he wont talk to her and she tries even harder to get him too, shes so pathetic. that part is funny, shes been so used to getting her own way and i think all this time shes had it in her head that she had my bf, her then current husband, and the guy she was cheating with, and who knows who else, at her beck and call. now he wont do anything for her and if she asks iknow he will tell her to take it out of the cs. im sure shes got this new guy thinking hes rescuing her from an abusive husband and a pos father of her kids. i know 2 other women just like her. i just dont get it...all the money they get, the people they use, and they still have and do whatever they want at everyone elses expense

shes a complete narcissist

i cant help feeling like she

i cant help feeling like she gets my weekends (bc he works all the time) and everything else that should be mine/ours. now i guess im the selfish one

I have gotten that feeling at

I have gotten that feeling at times with my BM as well. I have to switch my focus on what *I* have that she will NEVER have....

My DH
a great job
work ethic
pride in myself
the ability to travel the world as empty nesters!
ability to be the TRUE ME and still have friends }:)

She's got nothing. No self

She's got nothing. No self respect, no pride, no shame. She has lost everything she did have, your husband, her husband, boyfriends along the way, all the things that really mattered to her she's lost. Focus more on what she doesn't have. Hold your head up high because you are nothing like her. Just do what you have to do till this child support thing is over. Sure that may be years away, but the day will come when you will be free of this financial burden, you will be free to live your life with no obligations to her. You and DH can begin a new life. She however will still be stuck looking for someone to bludge off. She will never know financial security or peace of mind.

She has nothing. Imagine having to always be fighting for your next hand out. Using your kids to get it. It must be a scary life for them. I think they are desperate and act accordingly. She is a loser. That's all you need to see.

Well I don't know about

Well I don't know about anyone elses BM,.... HOWEVER, FDH LAWYER even said something to FDH, " HONESTLY BM LAWYER IS EXPENSIVE. HE IS FIVE TIMES MORE EXPENSIVE THAN ME. NOW YOU (FDH) MAKE MORE THAN FOUR TIMES MORE THAN BM. THAT DOESN'T ADDED UP., I DONT KNOW HOW SHE IS PAYING FOR HIM, WELL I COULD GUESS, BUT IT WOULDN'T BE VERY PROFESSIONAL OF ME."

Thanks for all the replies.

Thanks for all the replies. It helps

Good point. I've said this to

Good point. I've said this to bf before when he feels discouraged. He's a good person and she's not. We will never really get why she does the things she does

It is very discouraging to

It is very discouraging to always see these pos BMs win...whether it is for cs issues or getting MORE of our men's money it feels like a never ending battle and nightmare...one that most of our men seem to never win.

BF tries to be positive but it is very hard for me to see the "light at the end of the tunnel"...because it's like one way or another everything does and has to revolve around THEM!!! Not because my BF lets it but because he is ordered to pay so much that the finances just arent there for us to start and have a nice life and future...not until of course that kid/bm LEGALLY can stop getting BF's money.

When child support ends, our

When child support ends, our BM will still be living paycheck to paycheck .. which is ridiculous considering she makes a very decent salary plus living allowance. She's just not financially responsible .. and I don't ever see that changing.

On the other hand, DH and I own a nice home, with a nice chunk of property. We drive modest, but reliable cars (one of which is completely paid off). We take several vacations a year and are still more than able to cover our bills and put money away into savings. We spend money where it matters to us .. and save it where it doesn't. BM is flash flash flash .. everything in her life needs to be expensive ..

Ha!! HIS BM gets her house

Ha!! HIS BM gets her house payment ($1200) made and AND child support AND the three teenage and 1 adult "child" always calling him for $$. Yes, I work FT 40+ hrs a week and cant even make enough to get necessities sometimes.

I am certain that when we

I am certain that when we have our final alimony check scheduled to pay our bm will come up with a way to cry foul and get more money. There's just no more to give her. Dh will retire in a few months and she will get social security and pension. She can't get my income. It's so pathetic the way this system works.

I am a strong advocate of

I am a strong advocate of forcing abject misery on the blended family oppostion if they so much as hint at being toxic or manipulative.

If my SS's SpermClan had been reasonable we would have gladly worked with them. But that was never going to happen. They tried very manipulative thing they could try every chance they thought the could get away with it.

So we brought the pain. This can work in either direction. From CP to NCP or from NCP to CP. Though certainly it is much easier when it flows from the CP to the NCP.

So, every time she so much as thinks about deviating from the CO or does something stupid file for custody. The good news is that apparently had a fairly recent increase in CS which means that she can likely not file for an increase in CS for another 2 years.

So, any increase in your income is free and clear until she can file again. So, earn, earn, earn then cut back.

OT is often defensible from CS because it is not regular or guaranteed. Do some research to see what the rules are in your area then use whatever you can to your advantage.

Good luck.

Interesting point about OT.

Interesting point about OT. Where would I start to research that?

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am i the only one who wonders how these selfish greedy bitches keep winning???