Am I being unreasonable???
:jawdrop:
My husband comes home today and says BM wants to put SD6 in summer school and wants us to help pay for it. Here is the issue I have...
#1. with out me my husband would be in bankruptcy so it's truly not like HE has extra cash (yes, I know my money is his money, but when it comes down to child support, my money does not count). We agreed before we got married that I would not be responsible for paying for SD at all since they moved into my house and I took care of the bills he couldn't pay.
#2. We requested in writing that BM provide day care receipts to prove we are paying only half, and since SD was in all day kindergarden I KNOW daycare went down. She never provided the receipts and was pissed we even asked. In the custody paperwork it clearly states that we can ask for day care receipts at any time.
#3. SD isn't being taken care of properly and I really don't like it. She has warts and Athletes foot so bad her feet are raw. (The list of basic hygiene neglect is LONG)
#4. BM has a brand new mustang in her garage, and she makes about $45,000/year with two kids. So, since DH is near poverty, BM has two cars, and isn't taking care of SD HELL NO TO ANYTHING BM asks for.
I would consider it IF:
-She showed me receipts for day care
-Didn't buy cars with DH's child support
-Took care of SD with the $$ DH pays ( cut her nails, cut her hair, cleaned her, brushed her hair, bathed her, cared for her illnesses)
-Taught SD how to behave in a healthy fashion (please, thank you, hand washing, wipe her private parts, washed her clothes)
Am I being a complete bitch?
Nope! Not being bitch, if
Nope! Not being bitch, if YOU choose to help is one thing, but HIS child HIS financial responsibilty. I've been in your shoes and let's just say, the older the SD gets she will expect financial means regardless if they are yours, or DH. In SD eyes it's ALL Dh, never you also doing the contributing. Stand your ground woman!!!
I agree with the others. I
I agree with the others. I do not take responsibility for SO's children. They have to do what he can afford. We contribute reasonably equally to the household expenses most of the time, I have a set amount we both contribute each week to keep the household running, mortgage, rates, electricity, our child's daycare, food etc. He still is a 41 year old man child and just the past weekend, went and bought his son (1 of 4 children) a pair of Nike's and left himself no money for fuel for his car and did not have enough for his share of the household expenses. This man pays child support for 3 children to two separate mothers so a pair of Nikes can really affect a weekly budget. He is quite irresponsible with money and has no problem living without any savings. He too would be bankrupt right now if it wasn't for me and realistically could not afford a home without my income. I never care what he pays for as extras for his children as long as he has enough for OUR household expenses. I would never consider paying for his children's after school care programs, and discourage him from doing it until he has made the weekly contribution to our household that we agreed upon. We have been together 4 years and with the increasing pressure of blended family bullshit I am less and less inclined to spend any of my money on his children because they are not at all grateful in any way shape or form, and to be honest - neither is he most of the time.
Put your foot down, with her
Put your foot down, with her and your husband. You have to set the tone. If you let a thing or two slide, she will take as much advantage of that as possible.
1. Your money is NOT his
1. Your money is NOT his money. He can get anotherjob if he wants sd to go to summer school.
2. No receipts = no day care = no $ from dh to bm for daycare.
3. If she's not tending to the childs needs, dh should file for custody.
4. Maybe the Mustang was a gift from her new bf... point being, you don't know
The child isn't old enough to
The child isn't old enough to stay home alone so she has to attend summer school or camp. If dad refuses to help pay, mom can always go to court and have it handled there.
Here if a CP works or attends school full time, the NCP has to pay child care(day care, summer camp, before/after school care)fees in addition to CS.
YOU don't have pay one red cent for any of SD's expenses. That doesn't mean dad has the same option.
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