AGAIN?!!!! HE DID IT AGAIN!!!!!
Ugggghhhh. Bf procrastinated wrapping his kids' presents all week and said it would only take an hour or so anyway. He texted me yesterday after work (gets of at 3 or so) that he was going to nap and then wrap presents, so I could have him all day Christmas Eve. I am cooking turkey, etc. and I also needed his help picking up my kids' basketball system this morning (which I have since learned is sold out). We talked last night and I could tell he was not moving very fast on the wrapping. Then he said he also needed to clean up the place because he is picking up the kids at 8 pm tonight for Christmas break. So I can see my "all day" whittling away. He just called...later than he was supposed to be here...because after wrapping over 50 presents last night, he decided to go get his son a bicycle and was up until 4 am!!!!!!!! THEN...he says he still needs to go buy groceries.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOSH!
He doesn't even HAVE the kids with him and I'm still second to them. We have had this problem OVER and OVER and OVER again! I don't know what to do anymore. I mean, he can have all weekend that he has them. I have my own kids to keep me occupied. But why does anything having to do with them have to come before me? Why can't you plan ahead, get your shit done, etc. and for one freakin second keep your commitment to me?! There is nothing worse than being at the bottom of someone's list. How do I get him to understand this?
I know what you are going to say. Run. Get out. Don't look back. I already know I'm not marrying him or moving in...but now I'm wondering if it's even worth it to pursue a relationship if I'm never going to be a priority. SIGH...I think I'm just going to tell him I'll see him tomorrow when he brings the kids to exchange gifts. He already knows I'm annoyed. Why have the tension during my Christmas dinner with my kids?
Just say, "Oh, I thought we
Just say, "Oh, I thought we had plans to spend the day together. No big deal. I'll just see you tomorrow"
Leave it at that. He'll get the message. He'll try to backtrack and make excuses. Just leave it alone. Let him deal with the consequences. I would have NOTHING to do with him today.
The more space I give SO with his kids, the more he wants to be around me. The more distant I am, the more he comes to me. When I pushed it, he would push away. Maybe you need to try this with your SO.
I said, "I will just see you
I said, "I will just see you tomorrow. Go back to sleep." And he was like, "You don't want me to come over for dinner?" He was showered and cleaning, but then said he couldn't go back to sleep bc he had too much to do. Well duh. Now that you don't have to come over here, you have time to sleep! So now he is defending himself by saying that *I* had stayed up until 4 am this week like it's the same. *I* have my kids 24/7, homeschool my kids, have a home business, and happened to have a product back ordered for a month that came in this week that I stayed up to get orders out so my customers were happy, and so I wouldn't have to do it NOW! Not to mention a leak in my bedroom from the rain and a leak in my house an hour away that I had to drive to TWICE this week and remove water from the attic. He works. THAT'S IT. He didn't even work overtime this week. But he says he's understanding and I'm being demanding. So after all the back and forth, I said, "I will see you tomorrow." Now he's acting like an ass...you know...like it doesn't bother him? Little does he know that I know he will get his stuff done and be like, "damn, I sure wish I was over there eating turkey with the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm an idiot!" LOL
Merry Christmas ladies and gents!
Good for you standing your
Good for you standing your ground! He'll be sorry when his tummy is rumbling and he is missing that turkey dinner.