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Advice please!!

Boymom2020's picture

Submitted by Boymom2020 on Thu, 09/02/2021 - 5:54pm

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General Discussion

Hey everyone, quick question, my husband has two children with his ex gf. They currently have 50/50. The police we recently called to her home for a domestic between her boyfriend whom lived there (for a short period of time). The children were there as well. She currently has Department of children services involved in her life. Her own mother called on her because of her alcoholism and mental status. He has tried for full custody. They're currently still fighting in court. 
fast forward to today, she called her dcf worker, said someone from dcf called on a private number saying my husband is abusing me and his children. Then she called the police to do a well check on me and her children whom she knows was in school. The police were very confused as well as me. 
This weekend is her weekend, he is very hesitant to bring them back because of all the craziness she is pulling and trying to take the spot light of of her fuck up. My question is, how much if any trouble would my husband get into if he withheld the children from her because of his safety concerns? He did tell her dcf worker that he is afraid for their safty and she said anytime she feels that way to have them stay or call police to do a well child check. 
many advice would be greatly appreciated! 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Thu, 09/02/2021 - 7:06pm

Well, he can't not send them back just because she is trying to cover up everything by blaming you guys. And it sounds like the BF she had the domestic violence incident with is out of the home now? So what would be his justification? Remember, BM can do the exact same thing and keep them claiming he's dangerous to them, and she's likely to do exactly that since she seems to enjoy playing "I know you are but what am I" and projecting what she's doing herself onto DH. 
 

His better bet would be to file for an emergency custody hearing and keep them until then, if he thinks DCF will support her losing custody . Does he have an attorney he can consult?

LittleCloud9's picture

Submitted by LittleCloud9 on Fri, 09/03/2021 - 10:20am

Having been in crazy HCBM situations, I can say always have paperwork!

Whatever you do get it done through proper channels and cover your butt. He can probably get an emergency order of protection if he has good cause. Or do as the worker recommended and have a wellness check done during her visit. But don't just withhold them on your own because it will give her ammo to use against you in front of the judge. I know it's rotten but against a BM you have to fight wisely to win the war, not just the battle.

 

weightedworld's picture

Submitted by weightedworld on Fri, 09/03/2021 - 11:06am

Can he contact his attorney and put in for emergency custody? 

It honestly should have been done when he received knowledge of the domestic. 

The longer you drag it out the more it looks like there is no real concern.