2 stepsons with different bio moms
I have been a full time stepmom for 3 years. My oldest stepson is 13 and his bio mom lived 1 block away up until about 2 months ago. When I first moved in with my husband he was working M-F 3pm-11pm so SS13 stayed with his maternal grandparents Monday through Friday and stayed with us on the weekends. I was working mornings and would be home at night. SS13 started getting off the bus and spending the evening with me while husband was at work. I started feeling like I had to assume complete responsibility for my SS.
His BM would go to her parents house to visit SS for maybe an hour every other month (lived a block away) She did not have a job, did not have a car. She lost her license because she was drunk and fell asleep at a stop light and got a DUI. SS has epilepsy and ADHD and she was emptying his ADHD meds (capsoles) and putting the empty capsoles back into the bottle. The meds were at her parents house.He had a weekly morning/evening pill organizer case. He had to take siezure meds at specific times of the day. If SS would go to her house (even when reminded) she would just not give him his meds. Her parents are so blind to the way she is. She can do no wrong. SS doesnt have a bedroom at her house or clothes or anything. I have lived here for 3 years and BM has never ever ever been to a doctors appointment for him. Has never been to a parent teacher conference, has never driven him to baseball practice. He had to have an overnight EEG done at the hospital which she was told about by my husband when he made the appointment, again 2 weeks prior and then reminded of by him and SS. Then, got angry when I stayed at the hospital overnight with him because she claimed that she didnt know about it. She feel that if someone else has volunteered to take responsibility for not only her son but anything then she just doesnt need to.
For the first 2 years that I was living here (SS 10-12 years old) I had been his only parent I did all EVERYTHING! Got him up in the morning and on the bus, and off the bus. I did homework, drove him to baseball, doctors appointments, dinner everynight. rinse and repeat. Then once in a while Mom would tell him to come over after school so they could go see a movie, and he would go there and the doors would be locked, so hed walk home (only a block away) and then would get him all excited that shes going to come pick him up so they could go wherever and he would be all ready and waiting, and waiting, and say to me " How much you wanna bet she doesnt show up?". But, when she would show up she'd spoil him like crazy and buy him whatever he wants.
So present day.
To be continued....
I didn't mean to post this yet, but I will finish.
Stay tuned
Ha you had me at the edge of
Ha you had me at the edge of my seat there. Was like when a show says "to be continued..."
My dog decided 3:30 a.m. was a good wakeup time for me so what can I say, I need something to do.
Continued.......
Ok so present day …..
SS is 13 now and BM no longer lives a block away she moved, it is about a ten-minute drive. She still doesn’t see SS but tells him that she wants him to come live with her now. He has stayed there a few times since she moved and every single time he goes to her house on a school night she keeps him home from school! And doesn’t write him an excuse!
Her parents bought SS a cell phone for Christmas, so when he is grounded he loses it. She will call my husband and say that she wants to keep the phone while he is grounded because her parents bought and pay for it so she is keeping it while he is grounded. So every time he gets grounded he will ride the bus to her parents house and she will GIVE THE PHONE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!..... I tell my husband this is not going to continue he doesn’t just get to do whatever he wants and he is never going to learn anything if every time we discipline him she undoes it. She also lets him swear, gets high in front of him. She doesn’t buy him clothes, food, baseball uniforms/equipment. SS has lived with us for three years full time weekends and weekdays, SHE CLAIMED HIM ON HER TAXES LAST YEAR!!!!!!!!! She doesn’t ever buy him Christmas or birthday gifts.
She mostly stays out of the way but every once in a while she has to stir things up.
And all this time that I am 100% raising her son she has had 1 conversation with me.
Tax fraud is a strong tool
Tax fraud is a strong tool for beating this toxic BM into submission. First, file very early. That way you get the tax credit for the Skid. Next, go after her with the IRS. Submit all of the court docs to the IRS and they will go after her for any return that is associated with the Skid as well as for penalties and interest for any changes that her fraudulent claim of SS on her taxes results in.
The CP gets the tax credit unless a court orders otherwise or if there is an alternative agreement between the BPs.
You should take the fact that she doesn't interface you as a blessing. Who would want to interface with that POS waste of skin?