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Is 15 too young?

Flippinexhausted's picture

Submitted by Flippinexhausted on Sat, 06/12/2010 - 8:51am

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To let daughters date?My rule was both of my girls would have to be 16 before they could have "real" boyfriends.But since,they are both in high school,my oldest daughter is telling me about all these girls that have boyfriends and that most of the girls her age have already had sex.I don't believe that but now I'm thinking birth control since I find it weird that she keeps bringing it up,like she's trying to tell me without telling me that she's either having sex or thinking about having sex.I am not one to change my "rules" to convience my kids but I wonder if I am over doing it with the 15 rule.

I am confused's picture

Submitted by I am confused on Sat, 06/12/2010 - 9:23am

Get her on BC pronto. The fact that she's even discussing it means it has entered her mind and is something she's at least strongly considering.

As far as the dating, I think that's your call. I'm kinda partial to 16 myself but my ex-sKid was allowed to meet at the movies and so forth at 15 if I approved of the guy. Of course now that I'm split up from her mother I see on Facebook that my ex-sKid is dating a damned no account hippy who I would smack around and drag straight to the barber. Hmm... ironic considering I had hair down past my shoulder blades as a kid. Well anyway I don't like him!

Stick to your guns, be reasonable, start treating her like a young adult, but for God's sake get her on some kind of bc. Even if you think that might be encouraging sex at least she won't get pregnant. And then have a REALLY LONG talk about STDs with her...

AVDetroit's picture

Submitted by AVDetroit on Sat, 06/12/2010 - 9:24am

16. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16. Even then it wasn't about my age, but about my safety. I had to have my driver's license in case something happened and I needed to be the one to drive. My folks weren't naive about teen drinking. Sex was something I'm sure my mom worried about, but I was up front about wanting to go on the pill.

(Unrelated Sidebar: for those whose daughters and SD's have uncontrollable behavior and can't explain their acting out you may want to consult with and OB/GYN about going on the pill, Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder is more common than people realize. You would be doing yourself and the girl(s) a favor.)

Flippinexhausted's picture

Submitted by Flippinexhausted on Sat, 06/12/2010 - 9:34am

I think so too...I don't trust her to be responsible enough to take the pill,I've heard about the shot that last 5 years.Which would put her at 20 before she could reproduce.I was dating at 14,not because I was responsible enough to be dating but because my parents didn't have the "energy" to fight me over it,so they just let me go.I wish they would have chained me to the wall and said NO!Anyway,birth control it is.

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Sat, 06/12/2010 - 5:08pm

I think a "boyfriend" at 16 is ok, but not holding hands, kissing, etc in front of the parents...I am 42 but I was raised that way and back then and still see girls that do that and I think it's wrong...I wouldn't even date a guy that I had seen smooching w/another girl...I also believe BC is a way to take the responsibility off teens who have sex. If you have sex and get prego, you are out of my house...my parents let us know this very early on and it was enough to keep our legs crossed knowing that if he found out we'd be grounded and if prego out of the house. That is the belief in many cultures and the US has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates...