13 yr old boy sleeping in parents bed
Hi, my 13 yr old step son wants to sleep in the same bed as his father every night, and his father doesn't seem to have a problem with it. At first I didn't say anything but he is almost 14, he had a girlfriend last year and is still sleeping with a parent. He sleeps alone when he's at his mothers house and never asks her to lay down with him, but at our house its a different story. If I am gone away my husband allows him to sleep in our bed with him, and when I come back he expects to sleep in our bed, and if my husband says no he will sleep on the floor beside the bed. When i bring it up to my husband he will get defensive and thinks its normal and doesn't see anything wrong with it. The other children in our house are 11 and 5 who sleep in their own beds every night. Is it just me losing my mind or is he too old to be sleeping in the same bed as his father, opinions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
Lord save me from the
Lord save me from the stupidity of blind men. Really he thinks this is ok?? Why does a 13 almost 14 year old teenager need to sleep with his dad??
Stop saying boy..he's a teen!!! Every once in a while my son would come sleep with me in my king size bed when my ex was out of town. But he'd sleep all the way on his side. And usually go back to his bed early in the am so he could sleep in. Even my girls would do this from time to time but it was not a standard situation. It was only ever once in a while.
I'll say this.... if sd13 almost 14 wanted to come get into our bed..regardless of whether I was here or not, I'd lose my shit.
That ain't happening. Actually when so and I start dating 4 yeas ago.. she was sleeping in his bed at odd times. He let this happen. After his ex left, he let the kid come sleep with him, she somehow got the idea it was ok. It's ok if you're 9. When you're about to turn 14.. you need to be in your own bed or in therapy at that age. That's just my take on it.
I'm so sick of disney dads and how everything is just so cute to them. I wish they would grow up and being a freaking parent, they're making the rest of us look bad!!!
YSSstb10 still does this...
YSSstb10 still does this... he comes into our bedroom at some ungodly hour- "hey daadYYYY? can u lay down with meeeeee?"
of course guilty daddy obliges.
the other week DH was bad off sick, fever, chills, sweats, the works. and they still wouldnt quit pestering him. i told the kids "Let. Your. Father. Sleep. unless you are projectile vomiting, bleeding profusely, or the house is on fire, do not come in the bedroom."
i've said it a few times since then. maybe it'll eventually sink in }:)
Here's some advice: RUN
Here's some advice: RUN LIKE THE WIND AWAY FROM THIS MAN!!
And here are the classic signs that you are headed for a life of HELL:
1. Does your man allow co-sleeping with his children? (aka the kiddies routinely jump into bed with him at night)
2. Does he have to lie down with them to get them to sleep?
3. Do the children seem somehow "stunted" socially? Do they have poor hygiene habits, eating habits, bedtime habits?
4. Does your man subscribe to the "one big happy family" model? (expects you to love his children as much as or more than him)
5. Does your man have the "inability" to say no to his children?
6. Do his children seem overly "hyperactive" to you?
7. Does your man say "just relax; you worry too much" or "Everything will be just fine" if you bring up a legitimate concern
8. Do the children seem "overly needy" demanding that dad spend 24/7 with them? Do they physically lay all over him and go bonkers when daddy steps out of their peripheral vision?
9. Are they unable to do age appropriate tasks or want dad to do things that could easily be done themselves?
10. Does dad seem overprotective of his children; unwilling to let them try things out on their own?
11. Has dad said things like "I don't want to make waves with the BM b/c it will affect the children" or "we'll take the high road" when faced with blatant BM stepping over boundaries.
12. Has dad said things to you like "you don't like my children" or "you're a child hater" or "my children are afraid of you" or "my children don't like you?" This is code for you are able to see through the manipulation and the children don't like it. . . and frankly he doesn't like the fact that you can see through his children's manipulation either. He'd rather look the other way as opposed to actually parenting because he might "lose" his children to the (almost always) PASinator BM.
^^^This^^^ We should bookmark
^^^This^^^ We should bookmark this for future reference.
did you copy that from
did you copy that from somewhere? if so, i'd LOVE to know where!!!!!!
It's a compilation of
It's a compilation of "symptoms" I've noted over the years in my own case and that of many others which is listed on in my Kindle book on Amazon.
Oh crap - yes to all
Oh crap - yes to all 12.....
FML - I think I am done for.
I see nothing wrong in
I see nothing wrong in co-sleeping. WITH CHILDREN!! Not a teenager!
That is just weird to me. Not to be gross. but at that age they are waking up with morning wood. I would assume that DH is also. What a good morning site for all around. YUK,YUK,YUK!!!
This situation is definitely
This situation is definitely a turn-off for sex I am assuming...YIKES!!! :O
Your dh is tapped...I feel for you
Double ditto yuck!
Double ditto yuck!
Gross. CHild ABuse.
Gross. CHild ABuse.
Move all of your stuff out of
Move all of your stuff out of your and DH's bedroom and move all of SS's stuff in. See if your DH gets the hint.
This sounds so fimilar, the
This sounds so fimilar, the only diffence is that your SS is older, , if he doesn't ask to sleep with his mom he is just playing your husband, My husband use to ask if SS9 which was 4 at the time could sleep with us i told him no cause I didn't feel comfortable sleeping with him, so then my husband let him sleep in the floor in our room and I had to put a stop to that cause when I was 9 months pregnant I woke up in the middle of the night and feel over him while going to the bathroom, he still wants to sleep with us now, we don't let him and he will get up all during the night and act like he's scared, but just like your SS is just fine at BM's house.
haha im so accustomed to
haha im so accustomed to hearing my husband call him a boy and kid kid that I'm saying it now too, and I answered yes to 8 out of 12 run like the wind questions yikes!!
I should clarify that my husband doesn't let him sleep in our bed when I'm home, my stepson with come in our room then my husbamd will get up and go lay down with my stepson in his bed until he falls asleep and plays musical beds!! I haven't been away much this year until recently and my husband lets him sleep in our bed when I'm away. When I come back from being away my stepson will come in our room at night won't go back to his own room with my husband because" his room is too hot" and will sleep on our floor beside the bed and I have to walk over him the morning sleeping on the floor, yes very weird!!
He has issues with his mother and refuses to stay the night at her house which is a minute down the road from us. She has split custody and the boys stayed at her house every other week for over a year , then right before i moved in the 13 yr old stopped going to his mothers then the 11 yr old stopped going as well, and they went almost a year without speaking to her and only started visiting her last month after the judge told them they had to or else. My husband says that the sleeping in the same bed as dad thing started happening long before I was in the picture. My 13 yr old stepson is very polite and respectful towards me but not his own mother, and his allstar father waits on them hand and foot and treats them like kings which doesn't help and can be very annoying at times to watch and live with!!
Simular situation.
Sorry if this post is all over the place I Really dont know where to start with this.
What is the mother like? I have a situation where the mother has a history of CPS investigations and drug use. And has lost one son as well geven a nother up to adoption. The current situation is her 13yo that just dose Not get along with her or his yunger brother(9) she picks on him and Demands respect and will tell him she is the all mighty, the king , that she Owns him. He has lived with me over a year now and is doing verry well in school gos out with his friends more, better grades no truble. It is a weard situation at best. I am a single veteran but with the time passed i Definitely see him as a son even his friends parents and some teachers at school refer to me as his dad. He will go to see his mom and more times then not will come back in tears and shaking in frustration. He still tries to go see her and will get the door closed in his face and (get this) told to "go home" my place.. to the point she uses making him go home to her house as a punishment.. She has been investigated by cps during the time he has lived with me and she scripts the kids on what to say and tells them no matter what they do say she has the last say so. So they go along with it. This most recent investigation the 13yo told her he wanted to talk to the case worker alone. And she Completely lost her cool. And threatened to put him on a plane to a ""brother"" in Virginia that she lost to cps long ago. And he has only met once when he was 5. OR I take him with me to visit my family out of state. (I know it's wrong but I could let her ship him away to someone he doesn't even know against his will just to keep him from talking)
He wants to talk to the case worker but dosnt want to risk being taken away and he even expressed that he dosnt want to get his mom in trouble but she is digging her own hole.
I'll stop here what do I do.. I want to support the rite thing and refuse to let anything bad happen to this kid. I wold be happy to fight on his behalf and take custody hes a great kid. But I want him to make his decision. He being 14 as of Jan 10th is VERY knowledgeable and aware. Life has required him to be resourceful at a yung age.
Oh hell no. Time to give DH
Oh hell no. Time to give DH clarity that SS-13 is not allowed in your room. SS-13 has violated all reasonable access to YOUR room facilitated by his father. Time for daddy to catch a clue and... for you to too.
Time for EOW to start immediately. Your DH is the PASing parent in this case and he is the one who needs to drop the kids off at moms per the schedule. The Judge should have chewed your DH's ass right along with the Skids asses.
Generally I am not one to recommend tolerating toxic kids to ruin a marriage. In this case..... It is your DH that is ruining the marriage.
Why stay with this trainwreck being proudly engineered by your DH? If it was BM pulling the PASing crap, you would likely be all over her crap. Time to be all over DH's crap. No SS-13 in YOUR bedroom, no tolerating DH's "allstar" dad crap.
Good luck.
this is not normal for his
this is not normal for his father to allow this . his father should be teaching him to be a man. not only is this disrepcting your privacy when your not home ,,, that bed is where you and your husband are intimate , no one should be in there . certainly not a 14yr old teenager. end of story!