Oh God, my SD11 says the exact same crap to my DH, just not as much. I hear it about 5-10 times a day usually when:
She's been acting like a shit
DH and I are snugglin' on the couch
DH is paying ANY attention to my BD
She's about to ask for something

It's completely Bullshit. I know she loves her dad, but she does pick these opportune times to say so.

It just makes me sick to hear her voice-she says it in a higher pitch than she normally uses so her can sound morther like a lil baby.
When she was 10, our dog was chasing me and I hid behind my husband's legs, SD jumped down there wrapped her arms around both his legs and said,"MY DADDY" same exact day when we were in the kitchen hugging. 10 years old at the time. WTF? Look kid, you're 5'2" and 135 pounds-you cant trick DADDY into thinking youre a baby!

Wow...

Just, wow...

And I thought I had it rough. My 11 year old SD acts very babyish, as well. The other morning we went out for breakfast and when she got her pancake, she looked at it like she was totally overwhelmed. Then she looked up and said in a 6 year old's voice, "Daaaddddyyy? Will you cut up my pancake?" And he did! As a woman whose daughter could competently cook an entire meal by the time she was 11, I was really shocked.

Then when my puppy jumped on her, she literally screamed and cried like a toddler. 'm pretty sure she was just trying to get my husband to punish the dog, but hubby knows that dog is MY baby. (He is now trained not to jump on people.) She kinda gets off on having him "take up" for her and tries to create situations where he will.

The thing is that my husband is very careful of my feelings. I guess I'm very blessed. Getting kicked out of your own bed? I can tell you that WOULD NOT happen here. If I had to leave my own bed, I would leave the entire house. As a stepmother, it seems, you HAVE to take care of yourself and your own feelings. NOBODY else seems willing to do it, except maybe your own children. (I, too, have adult children who are my greatest champions:))I think you have to put value on yourself and then he will see it. Sounds like your husband needs a little reminder of how important YOU are in his life.

I think this means a few things:

1. She needs more help and guidance in dealing with this stepfamily situation from her dad and if that alone doesn't work, Dad needs to try to get her professional help and

2. She probably would like a lot more affection and attention from bm. She's a preteen who is going through life changes, and she needs her mom.

IMHO you have 3 choices:

1) leave

2) make very strong bounderies and tell dh that he can snuggle with his girls in their own beds (ya weird) or

3) put up and shut up, or rather put up and stay out.

DH is a very sensitive guy so I had to be very careful, as he was very touchy about his daughter at first. Now, not so much, cuz he sees her for what she really is, which is a lying and manipulative brat.

Anyhow, the first time I brought it up was the hand-holding thing. She was 12, her parents had been apart for a year, she was going back and forth between the two every other DAY since they lived 1/2 mile away from each other. She was thrust into the mini-wife role and relished it.

So, I noticed that everywhere we went (even just sitting at home on the couch) she had to be right next to him, holding his hand, fingers interlaced. It was like she was his girlfriend. So I said that. I waited till she went to bed one night and I said "do you see any other fathers holding their 12 yr old daughter's hand the way and how often you two do?" And he said no. So I said, "do you think that's normal?" And he thought it was. So I told him I didn't agree and for him to do some research on it for me because it made me very uncomfortable. He asked his dad, granddad and a few close male friends that had daughters around the same age. When they all agreed with me, he decided to stop holding her hand that way and that often.

We went from there to the constant need for her to sit on his lap (even at the dinner table) or right next to him. And when he was laying on the floor during a movie, my daughter and I were on the couch, SD spooned him on the floor, grabbing his arm and throwing it over top of her body. At that point my daughter looked at me and said "WTH is up with THAT?" Again, waited for her to go to bed and told him outright "that was pretty inappropriate of her to do and I'm surprised you didn't stop her". He said he saw her as just being extra clingy because she was jealous of my daughter and then had second thoughts and just didn't do anything about it.

The straw that broke the camel's back was when SD called a "family meeting" between her, DH and BM regarding affection DH was showing me. She said it made her REALLY uncomfortable to see DH kiss me or hold my hand. And when he returned from this "family meeting" and told me they all came to the conclusion that maybe he and I should cool it on the PDA in front of her, I flat out told him "I'm SO glad you, your EX wife and your CHILD agree on how OUR relationship is supposed to be; however, I frankly do NOT". I walked out and left him to think about that. He immediately went back over to BM's and had another meeting, this time laying out the law that neither of them would control him or our relationship and that was that!

HE has to nip it with her and do it now. You can't, because you'll be made out to be the evil stepmom.

"i love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad."

From both SS13 and SS8. All freakin' day. Every day.

All I can think is that they're super insecure and have to be reassured of his love constantly.

It's super sickening though.

I was reading this and nodding my head. Believe it or not, this seems like standard step-child behavior. I'll bet his daughters go bat-shit crazy if their Dad is out of line of sight for more than 30 seconds?

My SS was almost exactly that way.

There's two things you have to understand 1) Children do need some kind of self-affirmation and attention. What they don't get from one parent, they'll try to sap from the other. Like a drug, getting the parent's attention like this stimulates the senses and when that stimulus dissipates it leaves the child wanting more and wanting more right away 2) Your husband, either through ignorance or out of secretly desiring the wish to feel needed by his children, encourages this behavior. By doing so he is doing a huge diservice to his daughters.

So how do you fix this? Well there is no overnight, flick-of-the-switch solution.

In my case, the solution came when my DW got pregnant with our son. Suddenly SS couldn't lean on her, cuddle her and sit on her lap like he was so used to doing because it made DW uncomfortable. I pulled SS aside and told him straight, "What's the matter with you? You're not a baby anymore! Learn to look after your mother rather that try to sit on her lap."

I gave my DW a similar speech when she was lamenting over how SS would have to deal with "sharing" DW. "For Frack sakes! You're a MOTHER not a freakin' Geisha!"

SS still cuddles with DW and acts like a needy un-loved child starving for attention. Just not as much.

an 11 year old says, "dada I love you non stop (seriously minimum 7 x an hour!!) and then throws in a dada do you love me...." She has some major issues. Dada?? I would disengage on that one and call her out on it in front of BF. Skid does the "love you Dad" a lot, probably once an hour, which to me, is still very excessive. He does it when DH stops paying attention to him for 10 seconds and he needs to reign his attention back in onto him.

an 11 year old, "is always wanting to sit on his lap no matter where we are. Is always touching, stroking, petting his arms, his head, his legs." Again, MAJOR issues. This has to stop and your BF is the one that needs to stop it. Ridiculous.

"I get kicked out of my bed every damn night so the three of them can "cuddle" then I am to not go to bed as they must be left alone after these hour plus cuddles so that they can sleep. He then CARRIES them to bed. THEY ARE NINE AND FREAKN ELEVEN!??!!!"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! They kick you out of your bed to cuddle and then you are not allowed to go to bed when you want so THEY can sleep!!!! WTF! WTF! WTF!!!!! You need to have a FIT over this immediately! This is SO wrong! The carrying them to bed, wow. He needs extreme counseling and parenting classes. Do not let them do this to you! This seriously pissed me off and I don't even know you! This is some crazy twisted shit and no one deserves it.

Thats just as eeewww as Stwin9 that says "me want mama" "me want ice cream" etc....
gawd!

:? Are you sure your Sd and mine aren't the same person????LOL

How can a kid kick you out of your bed? How can a nine year old and an eleven year old even BE In your bed? Are you serious? The first night my SS spent at our house I laid down the law on that one! He has NEVER slept in our bed.

Echo is right. I love your input.

I'm new here so I have been just reading well..everything on this site. It has helped me like you wouldn't believe. So here's what I see:

Your original post was last March, this is November, Nothing has changed. Your still talking about it months later. Re-read everything one more time, and then read it again. I think you know your answer.

Thats what I did with my post I first posted and for me It worked wonders.
Good Luck