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FH freaked out on me and this is why

chaotic's picture

Submitted by chaotic on Mon, 06/15/2009 - 7:08pm

I really need some opinions. FH and I are really battling right now and I think he is way out of line. Here is the story from the beginning.

My BS5 and SS7 both had the same toy (a small star wars action figure). SS apparently got his for x-mas, my BS got his at the store a few weeks ago. One of them is missing. SS was saying that the one my BS had was his. This went on and on all weekend. I told FH and SS that I bought BS's for him at the store a few weeks ago so I know for a fact he had one. SS kept saying that he knew it was his because his had a cloth cape and BS's had a plastic cape. They continued to argue about it. FH at one point had said for BS to just keep it and apparently told SS that he would get him a new one. I had no idea if the one BS had was in fact SS's and SS continued to argue that he knew for sure it was his because of the cape. I asked BS if his had a plastic cape and to tell me the truth, and suggested that maybe he took it to his dad's or lost it. BS said that maybe his had a plastic cape and yes, it was possible that the one he had was SS's. I was on the computer at the time so I said fine, I'll look online and see if the ones from WalMart (where I got BS's) have plastic capes. If they do, that means for sure that the one BS has is SS's. They didn't have them online. So I am standing in the doorway with BS and he is continuing to talk about it and I said fine, next time I go to WalMart I will look and see if the ones there have a plastic cape and if so then the one you have must be SS's since it has a cloth cape. FH comes through the door and hears me say that and makes a snide comment like "oh I'm sure he's lying about it". He later said that he didn't mean it the way it sounded. I got mad because I thought he was accusing BS of lying and was sick of the arguing so I said fine I am going to WalMart right now so we can solve this.
What do you think my intentions are at this point?

FH flew off the handle and told me that if I left to not come back. Then in the bedroom after I asked him what his problem was, he freaked out and started calling me names and saying "how dare you do this just to try to prove that my son is lying". He even went as far as to threaten to call the cops if I didn't leave. Way out of line! I got upset and tried explaining but he wouldn't listen. He got it in his head that I had set out to prove that his son was lying. We have been fighting about this for 24 hours now and I packed some things and left. This is not the first time he has treated me as the enemy and gone off on me over something stupid that has to do with one of his kids. I have always treated them fairly and have never said one bad word other than to ask him to tell them to not do something. There are other problems in our relationship to but this I think is the straw that broke the camels back.

I had no intention of proving that SS was lying. I didn't think he was!! I didn't think either one of them knew for sure who's it was. Which is why I was going to the store to figure it out and get another one so that everyone is happy. If the one's at WalMart had a plastic cape, I would have gotten a new one for BS and made him give the other one back to SS. If not, I was going to buy one anyways so that they would both shut up and be happy.

From my story, does it sound like my intentions were to prove that SS was lying?

Comments

misguided's picture

Submitted by misguided on Mon, 06/15/2009 - 7:27pm

Maybe a little bit but his reaction was way overboard. I say stuff to my DH all the time about his kids and I know he doesn't like it and sometimes he ignores me but if he told me to get out, I would and stay gone, long enough to really scare him. Let him know you mean it and I think he'll cave. You mentioned you had more issues so not knowing what they are, I would say this alone doesn't sound like enough of a reason to end it..

mrsparks's picture

Submitted by mrsparks on Mon, 06/15/2009 - 8:16pm

He was WAAAAAY out of line and pitting the kids against each other will never end up well in the long run. You two need to talk "alone" and hash things out, sounds like there's definitely some animosity there..

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 06/15/2009 - 8:20pm

And yes, it did sound a bit as if you were on a quest to nail SS....... until you explained your thoughts processes. Then it sounded as if you just wanted the truth from both boys. The chances are 100% that one or the other of the boys is lying.

But, your FH's reaction is beyond tolerance and would not warrant another second of my participation in the relationship if I was you.

Good luck and best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications)

Sunflower's picture

Submitted by Sunflower on Mon, 06/15/2009 - 11:36pm

Whoa!! FH flipped over something so small! I think FH has other issues. I would have done the same as you. Not to prove who is a liar but to stop the fighting and then fix the problem (get a new one).I would be a bit worried for you and your BS to return to FH. Your relationship w/FH is a bit scary if he is willing to spaz out over a stupid kids toy. FH obviously is stewing over his idea that you dont treat BS and SS equally and he finally blew.I would get the hell out of that mess. Obviously FH doesnt understand you.

It is better to be the hammer than the anvil.
Emily Dickinson

Kevin The Man's picture

Submitted by Kevin The Man on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 5:04am

is what the hell is wrong with FH. OK, I came down hard but its a toy, a freaking toy. To put it in perspective, 100 years from now, the toy will be dust. OR, 100 years from now the grandfather you helped create tells a certain story about materialism, I tend to lead towards the second option.

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 7:57am

I think your DH is guilty of exactaly what he's accusing you of though since he point blank called your son a liar, or said he was the one lying. Why is it okay for him to do that but it's not okay for you to get to the bottom of the problem and fix it?

I don't blame you for leaving. I hope this all works out the way you want it to.......maybe this will be the kick in the ass your DH needs to realize that he needs to put his wifes feelings first. Or maybe you and your DH will be no more, either way I wish you happiness. And I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this.

Especially over a stupid plastic toy. Woah. I can see the divorce proceedings now. "Your honor, none of this would have happened if she would just admit that her son is a liar and that toy is my sons".

~All you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust~

newstepmom2008's picture

Submitted by newstepmom2008 on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 9:20am

Your husband needs to quit fueling the fire!

If I had it to do over I would have never married mine. The only thing is he didn't start treating me like a big pile of poo until AFTER I said, "I do".

Now all I hear is, I'm leaving, Go ahead try and make it without me, and blah blah blah