DH seems to have fallen off a turnip truck!
When it comes to his precious son Zippy!
We have SS16 Zippy full time. Said Zippy has recently lost a job his dad got for him for chronic tardiness. DH and I sat down crafted some house rules (that are progressing ok)-however one stipulation was that Zippy needs to get a part time job (that Zip does not want to get as it takes time away from tv and video gaming in other words being a bump on a log taking up space).
Zippy's first foray into picking up applications as per Daddykins was to go to the mall and hang out with "friends" then proceed to lie to his father about the places he has been (turned up home with NO applications) Daddykins falling all over himself believing Zippy (Yup Zip Yup Yup good job!) Zippy smirking all the way to his Xbox...ARGHHHH
Today-I ask DH about the NEW applications that Zippy was supposed to have filled out -
Me: "DH-did you actually check the applications (Zippy has writing problems among a crap load of other problems)
DH: DuH...No
Me: Then how do you know Zippy actually followed through with what he said he did -DH remember the mall incident?
DH: You are right.
DH is home this afternoon for two hours from when Zippy is home I asked DH to
1. Hold Zippy's hand and DRIVE him to three places to pick up applications.
2. ACTUALLY witness Zippy getting the applications.
3. Since DH is out this evening-instead of Zippy sitting like a bump on a log watching TV until he gets his two hours of gaming-to fill out 1 of said applications for DH -DH is to check said application when he gets home this evening.
I seem to have married Homer Simpson :O
I don't know who I am getting sicker of, DH or his lazy kid!
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yikes!
It seems like you have TWO 16-yrs-olds to deal with, Endora (at least, emotionally, speaking).
Are you kidding me?? DH REALLY needs this much assistance in realizing the steps he needs to take in getting Zippy motivated to get a job....
Wait. What am I saying? Of COURSE he does! This is EXACTLY the reason the Zipster "IS" why he is in the first place- your DH can't parent this kid to save his life!
Oh, Endora- I am SO sorry for you.
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
oh no not kidding
FH and I had an arguement one time about that exact thing. FH felt like he needed to drive Unib to stores/restaraunts and hold his hand to make sure he knew what he needed to do( to motivate him?? wha???) that if he needed to drive him around for days he would- AND get this he said he would do it even if Unib was 30 yrs old!!
oh no dear 5T not kidding.
thankfully that did not happen thanks to yourz truly but sheesh..
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
No- I KNOW she's not kidding!
And you gals all know that I, too, deal with the same kind of DH. A really nice guy. But no follow-through.
And Endora, maybe that's why I said I feel sorry for you- because I feel sorry for ME TOO!
Right now, I'm dealing with EXACTLY the same issue.
SD18 (now away at college) was expected to come back for Spring Break and look for a job. We talked about it at Christmas time. Everyone knew what was expected of her. DH was all, "You WILL make a good-faith effort to find a job...OR ELSE."
Well, Spring Break came. SD18 spent most of her time laying around on the couch- watching movies. And then CRIED to her "Daddy" when I MADE HIM reprimand her for failing on her promise to find a job. It was FRIDAY of her week off before she got off her butt and actually went out and made a half-assed attempt at even looking!
Fast-foward to this weekend. She SUPPOSED to come home for EASTER weekend just so she can, once again, follow-up on the job search. Last night, she called "Daddy" to set up her excuses...
*none of her friends can find jobs
*there's not enough time this weekend
*next year, she'll try harder
I was beyond pissed! I know what she's up to. She's going to make her excuses for why she couldn't find a job and then "Daddy" will buy them and try to sell them to me.
You see, DH and I agreed- if SD did not make a TRUE and rigorous attempt (which she SO FAR, did not) to find a PT job of at least 25-30 hours a week (or 2 PT jobs TOTALLING 30 hours/wk) then we would not provide her with any spending money this summer- or a car.
Mark my words ladies- I can already see the writing on the wall. DH is already looking to make his case for why his "baby", (she's an "adult" when she needs to be, but a "child" for other cases, such as this!) DID TRY and why we HAVE to give her money this summer. And how it's not fair to not give let her have our car and her freedom this summer.
BLAH. BLAH. BLAH.
So again, I feel sorry for you and your situation, Endora.
And I feel quite badly for me, too.
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
I hope
my comment didnt sound snide, it definitely was not meant to be.
I was caught up in my emotions remembering the arguement FH and I had concerning his poor helpless son..
I know what you are going thru ...
My apologies!
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
No offense taken, girlfriend
you know I don't "bruise" easily
I didn't take it that way at all. I was just thinking to myself after I wrote my original post, "of COURSE I believe that Endora's DH is that bad...I have one of THOSE at home myself!"
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
Frustrating
Here is the answer I got this morning after I talked to DH (with the beyond rose colored glasses when it comes to Zip) re lazy teen:
DH: I will take him out. For the record, I saw the applications and I saw them filled out, but I didn’t check them. I had asked him to photocopy the application prior to filling them out, that’s where he failed me.
I feel badly for 5teens too-it is beyond frustrating! I am SO dreading summer this year! I feel like going to Toronto to my sister's and sipping cocktails by her pool until September, rather than watching that teen living in the basement gaming 24/7 because I will get this from DH: "Ahh Endora-it's summer-poor Zippy-give him a break, he's only 16 (going on 12 IF that) once!"
Gee he could have told me this morning that he saw said apps -or "Doth DH Prostesth Too Much"?
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
Cattle Prod-or a shovel!
For both of their BSh!t I get! Like father like son....
It's not so much the actual employment for Zippy (although that would be nice)-it is DH acting at least partially on the follow up and follow through BEFORE I get to this point-and teaching his son about the world outside of gaming.
DH is a real nice guy (what do they say about nice guys?)-and a good husband-but as a parent he sucks (that is why he has this ONLY child) as he gets tired of Zippy as well-and as we all know-when you have a kid-you are in it for life!
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
Right with U sister
SD17 told DH that she wasn't going to work ...And I do believe that of her. DH doesn't seem to mind..Whatever....I'm thankful my daughter worked in high school and now that she is in college she puts in 39 hours a week between school and work. I think it will be hard for SD to make it at first UNLESS she is still handed everything to her.....
I know what I would do
His gaming devices would disappear.
I would
However to quote DH-
"DH is just not ready for that drastic step on Zippy16"
:sick:
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
my gawd
does zippy still have his pacifier too??
this kid is never going to grow up.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
No pacifier
However at 16 still sucks his thumb (not in public since last year-THAT WAS A HUGE STEP AHEAD) and has his special PILLOW-again THAT germ infested grossness stays in his room and Zippy does not cart it around the house anymore.
Try to picture that behavior on a 6"1" 185 pound teen with a mustache (and soon to be ZZtop beard as he refuses to shave)-can anyone say "therapists couch" soon enough?
My DH still thinks the kid is 6 years old (will be if he keeps treating Zip that way!)-Zippy is having his wisdom teeth out next week (all four)-he asks his Dad if when he is at home if he can game 24/7-without missing a beat DH says "sure Zippy"-after Zippy went downstairs to watch TV to wait for the New House Rules Game Time to begin-I laid into DH if he thinks Zippy will be gaming from Wednesday until Sunday next week I am taking a sledge hammer to the whole system-
DH was visibly shaky at how angry I was-I told him not to make those kinds of decisions without me-a$$hole! UHHH!!!
Zippy comes back upstairs I mention to DH that Zippy may be in no condition to game after dental surgery-Zippy may have trouble keeping his food down!
Zippy turns white in the face-
DH looks shocked - and tearily asks me to come in the kitchen and says to me:
"Endora -please don't scare Zippy"
:jawdrop:
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
I hope your H
I hope your H has already started a savings account for Zippy's future, because at this rate that kid will never be able to hold down long term employment. At the first sign of criticism he will start bawling and run home to daddy. This kid is so emotionally stunted and I cannot believe that your H is so blind that he does not realize the disservice he is doing to his kid.
So yeah, start saving that chump change now. Better yet, send me the mailing address for the Save Zippy's Future fund and even I may make a contribution!
SZF Fund
OH MY that is funny
-think I will get a huge ceramic Bactrian camel with a money slot for the office and DH business-
Wonder if I can get charitable organization status for this???
SAVE ZIPPY"S FUTURE FUND!
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
Who pays for Zippy's Internet connection?
Last I checked, online gaming has a monthly membership cost, in addition to the actual Internet account. Money is a great motivator for getting a job. If he were expected to pay for his own gaming addiction, he'd have a job in a heartbeat.
DH and I
Pay for internet in the house (Zippy needs it for school as well)-DH has recently said that Zippy will be paying for his cell phone monthly-as well, he pulled Zippy's "allowance" (Zippy got 20.00 a week for merely existing and taking up space)-Zippy quickly found a part time job-the point is whether or not he will keep it!
You are right-the video conferencing games cost-I will bring it up with DH as I suspect Zippy is borrowing money to play from his friend "Art".
Zippy does not talk to me at this point as I make him accountable and he does not like that at all!!
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!