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Just Call Me The Wicked Witch Of The West!

newstepmom2008's picture

Submitted by newstepmom2008 on Fri, 05/29/2009 - 5:24pm

Every since I told him exactly how I feel about the skids and his interaction with them or lack there of, things have been hell! I'm so sick of all of this. I swear I was married to be nothing more than a baby sitter. I'm so sick of my life. I haven't felt like I had so few options since I lived with my parents!

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Sunflower's picture

Submitted by Sunflower on Sat, 05/30/2009 - 9:05am

I am sorry that you are feeling so trapped.I have been there so many times. DH needs to value your opinion more.From what I have seen you have been doing your best to help and all he does is give you grief.Have you ever been to a couples councelor? I think that DH has the wrong idea about where you are coming from and is not being very sympathetic to what you go through. It is hard for bio parents to understand what step parents go through.My heart goes out to you. I hope that things improve for you. ((((HUGS))))

It is better to be the hammer than the anvil.
Emily Dickinson

livinthedream's picture

Submitted by livinthedream on Mon, 06/01/2009 - 5:58pm

I have learned thru the years that any discussion about SK's will result in a fight. However, there is a choice to stick around & deal with all the issues. I go out & enjoy myself with friends & do fun things instead of babysitting or worrying about it.
Believe me they dont worry about us SM's.

newstepmom2008's picture

Submitted by newstepmom2008 on Mon, 06/08/2009 - 4:29pm

I've tried couple's counseling with him -- he's ALL FOR changing me, but God forbid he make any changes. He actually got the counselor so angry that he ended the session and told him DH that he needed to be willing to meet me in the middle. He also added, "you're lucky you have a wife who's so concerned about your children, most women wouldn't touch this situation with a 10 foot pole!" I went back to him by myself and he said that he was sorry I found myself in such a frustrating situation.

The funny thing is, that in the beginning this counselor thought I was evil, controlling and manipulative -- you could tell, but I just waited and thought, you'll see...and sure enough he did!

As for sticking around -- I've cut that too! I go out and enjoy myself the way I used to before we were married. I was fuming one night and remembered something my grandfather told me..."you can only be used and taken advantage of if you allow yourself to be." It's one thing to help, to be a partner to my husband, but I'll be darned if I'm going to be a babysitter and a kicking post to these children.

My dog and I go out and have fun and they sit at home. A few more weekends of this and I think he may get the point. And the next time he has visitation I'm going out of town Biggrin

This old gal is taking her life back! I'm tired of being everyone's go to gal. I'm back in church, I've volunteered for a few things, and if that mean he has to watch them by himself, to bad so sad. I'm going to do things I enjoy again!