You are here

Why, oh Why do we even talk to her.....

imagr8tma's picture

Submitted by imagr8tma on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 7:38am

Yesterday I posted about BM wanting DH to give up his weekend for his daughter to attend a birthday party. Since we live out of state and drive 4 1/2 hours on the regular and because she filed false affidavits/custody papers/counseling intake forms etc... my husband does not want to miss another weekend with his daughter.

(Please look back at my blog and you will see all the issues we deal with...)

She called my DH last night at 930p and told him, "SD has friends here in NC that she sees every day. It is important she forms relationships with these friends because she is getting older. It is not fair that she has to miss out on her friends party to come and spend time with her father."

I was livid. My DH gets to see his daughter 6 - 9 days a month. (1st, 3rd and 5th weekends a month) and 4 weeks out of the summer. We live out of state and drive any other time just to be a part of what sd has going on.

For instance 2 June we will be driving a total of 9 hours to attend SD kindergarten graduation program which will probably only last 1 hour. AND then again on 6 June we will be driging a total of 9 hours to attend her dance receital which starts at 4 pm and will probably last a couple of hours.

DH does his part to remain in her life..... So why does BM have the nerve to tell him - SD forming relationships with kids she sees everyday is more important than spending time with her dad - who she only sees 6 - 9 days a month. He was hurt by that comment last night.

SOME BMs need a kick in their azz. If the father is paying more than the court ordered support on time each month, picks his child up, begs for more time, drives 4 1/2 hours one way to attend her events, we purchase clothing and toys, and don't complain.... WHAT THE HELL IS HER DAMN PROBLEM!!!

Maybe she needs to switch places with me. Hell i was married to my daughter's father, he decided he was too young to be married and a parent.... so therefore he dropped off of the face of the earth. He has emailed her a total of 2 times in the past 5 years, sent one card in a total of 13 years and no child support.

I am so sick of her and her bull. I can not wait for 14 July to get her soon enough when we get before the judge with all of our evidence and testimonies.

Comments

frustratedinMA's picture

Submitted by frustratedinMA on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 7:50am

Have dh tell bm that he thinks its more important for sd to form a relationship w/her FATHER than to form relationships w/friends by attending parties. It will always be something if she can find it.

My dh's ex does this all the time, and he lets her.. and its constant now. To the point where she tries to dictate our lives and schedule to accomodate parties all the time. Think about it.. sd is in a class of about 30 kids.. half are prob girls.. therefor, she has 15 friends, and each one has a bday and bday parties..

I say put your foot down and tell him to go get his daughter!! She can see the girl at school.. hell.. bm could invite said friend over on HER weekend and take the girls out to lunch or something to make up for sd NOT going to her bday party!!

frustratedinMA's picture

Submitted by frustratedinMA on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 7:51am

oh.. forgot to mention.. we are now at the mercy of a soccer schedule.. its ridiculous!! Cant make plans, as it MIGHT interfer w/sd's soccer schedule.

LotusFlower's picture

Submitted by LotusFlower on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 8:01am

before we got full custody, BM ACTUALLY came to court and told the Judge that DH didn't allow the skids to "spend time with their friends at activities that were scheduled on his weekends"....and DH's attorney argued the point that DH pays for EVERYTHING and is entitled to see his kids when visitation is scheduled. Now, of course we're not morons and we lived close to BM so if the kids had something special going on, of course they could go, but to miss visitation to hang out with friends?....NO WAY....and the Judge felt the same way, he ripped her a new one and told her that any father who makes the effort to spend time with his child should be entitled to do so....soooo..In yur case....OMG...u guys are driving that far to make sure u stay in SD's life AND given the fact that SD is only in kindergarten....omg...how many friends can she have at that age?....I would think that bonding with her Dad and SM would be more important than her "friends"...good luck to you in court....I can't imagine a Judge that wouldn't see it u and DH's way given the lengths you go to remain a big part of her life not only financially, but physically!! maybe SHE should be the one to have to drive 9 hours to spend time with her child...think she would do it????.......

"there are three sides to every story....your side, my side and the truth :)"

Amazed's picture

Submitted by Amazed on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 8:07am

Seriously, do we ALL have the SAME DH or BF???? WOW! It truly boggles the mind! Unfortunately, DH won't realize the importance of spending time with his child until it's too late...then he'll blame their terrible relationship on you. I hate to be negative...it just seems that's the trend.

~I've been drinkin down your pain...gonna turn that whiskey into rain and wash you away...~

imagr8tma's picture

Submitted by imagr8tma on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 9:21am

reminding her of what the court order states and to let her know that he will be there to get his daughter on Friday.

I am thinking she will make sure she is not there - but we are prepared to call the police and get a police report this time.

I am sure the judge would not like to see that when we go to court on 14 July.

stepmasochist's picture

Submitted by stepmasochist on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 10:34am

Because for the most part, kids don't even get their "real" friends until high school, and at that point it's a nightmare trying to get them to hang out with either parent, so ... ya, I agree with Frustrated have DH tell BM to shut her fat trap about relationships with friends being more important than a relationship with her father. That'll come soon enough from SD herself.

imagr8tma's picture

Submitted by imagr8tma on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 12:22pm

to answer stepmasochist's question. AND SD was just fine when DH talked to her yesterday. BM called back and started all the drama.

So i don't believe it is SD at all. BM uses situations like this to emotionally abuse SD.

Court is coming up in July and since the counselor did not agree with her that we abused, terrorized and attempted to kill sd in her sleep - she has to try another avenue to keep sd away from DH and SM and SS and family.

I wish i could scan the affidavit (as poorly written and as ignorant as her lawyer typed it) just so you guys could see how this fits in with the lies she attempted to tell.