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I'm puzzled-why is knocking at the door such an issue?

bewitched's picture

For those who read my email to SD17, one of the things I told her was she can knock when she comes over. Because of several reasons.

1) She hit the door screaming last time she came

2) My bedroom is right off the living room-no hall. I could've been in there changing clothes or something-it has an arched doorway, so no door between the bedroom and living room.

3) She does not live here.

4) She usually has her bf w/her when she comes over.

What I don't understand is why she is crying to Daddy about it? (not to me, of course. the only time I ever hear from her is when she wants something)

It doesn't cost anything to knock...I'm really really puzzled.

Any insights?

Of course, if I get the job it will definately be a non issue, because she and her Daddy can get their own place and live happily ever after!

Comments

frustratedinMA's picture

Does she have a key? Can you get one of those chains?? I would. She sounds like a pill. Ask her if she would just barge into her aunt and uncle's houses or grandparents houses w/o knocking or ringing the bell. I do.. As an adult going over to my parents, unless they are expecting me.. and even when they are.. I KNOCK!! its just a common courtesy when you DONT live in that house. Would she be cool with you just walking into her place when she gets an apt some day?? ask her that?!?!? because it goes both ways!!!

RUDE and Entitled.. that is what she is!!!

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

And H better not have given her one (tho the possiblity that is did is certainly there). This isn't even our house-belongs to my parents. So she has no right to have a key.

My folks live right next door-and every time I run over there I knock! It's just as you said a courtesy.

So why are they-she and H-making such an issue of it.

And no, she never knocked at her grandmothers door either.

frustratedinMA's picture

Then I would have that door locked CONSTANTLY.. even when I am in the house and think no one is coming by. LOCK IT.. then she HAS to knock. Lock it and deadbolt it if you have one.

Then I would make her freakin wait.

Sarah101's picture

You are trying to project sanity into an insane situation. Only an insane situation would prompt an otherwise sane woman to question why a teenager should knock at a door.

I always know when I am around crazy people because they go out of their way to make me think I am crazy. I learned that lesson with teen stepbrats.

This is obviously a control situation. Of course she's crying to Daddy! Poopsie Princess is reeling from your decision to put your foot down and not allow her on your home anymore (you asserted control), and she's doing her best to warp reality to make your decision look crazy. Only Dear Daddy will listen and sympathize with the sniffles.

Ignore the crazy crap and let the bitch twist in the wind.

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

can't come marching in-and I will.

But honestly, with all I have on my plate, all the garbage being dumped here from h's irresponsiblity, why would he even bring that up as an issue?

I can be put in a situation of facing financial ruin by his past, but his precious darlin can't be told to KNOCK?

Never mind. It is insane. Wish that interviewer would call!

Serena's picture

I never have. Not at my family's or close friends' homes, anyway. That's just the way we roll though. If they ever asked me to, I of course would, but we're just not knockers, I guess. Nobody knocks at my house either. We also never lock our doors.

I think that, even if we were the type to knock, I wouldn't expect my SD to knock. She lives here 50/50, but even if we only had her EOW, this would still be considered her home, just not her primary home. She has a bedroom here, she has clothes here, and she is always welcome here (much to my dismay).

Not to judge, you have an unusual situation with no bedroom door, her being so blatantly disrespectful, etc. But you don't have to justify yourself to her either. Even if she lived with you full time, it is still your home and you make the rules. She doesn't have to like them or agree with them, but she does have to follow them.

Most Evil's picture

Here you have to lock your doors, it is a big city and there are home invasions and assaults all the time. I have already told DH, SD will never have a key to my house and I knock at my parents and friends houses too.

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

Sasha's picture

Because her Princess MeMe entitled a$$ shouldn't HAVE to knock on the door; on the contrary, the doors are supposed to automatically open when she's making her entrance, but I guess your doors are broken!

WowjustWow's picture

Or she can call and tell you she is on her way over. SD14 did this on Sunday. She had BM stop at our house at 8pm on Sunday to drop off her stuff from the weekend, so she didn't have to carry it at school on Monday. I don't have any problem with them stopping by any time the kids want/need something, but I asked SD to please just call first so we know she is coming and we aren't alarmed. We've had our house broken into before, so SD knows I am skittish about strange noises in the house. She wasn't offended or anything, so hopefully she will call next time.

However, Bewitched has a different issue. SD does not live at her house, so I think it is appropriate to have her knock before coming in, or like I said, at least call first for a heads up.

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

I CANNOT believe we even had that discussion. With everything else on my plate, I DO NOT have to JUSTIFY requesting COMMON COURTSEY from a teenager.

More I think about it, madder I get.

Because-when she was told the texting was being shut off, due to financial circumstances, she talked her mother into putting her on her cell phone plan. So she can text.

So H asked her what that's going to cost her a month. Her reply-What is it to you? You're not paying it!

After reading your responses, and thinking this thru-I see it for what it is. A POWER STRUGGLE. SD17 wants, obviously, to prove TO ME that things will be HER WAY.

As an example, last summer, all summer, she would show up here, not knock, of course, march in, turn the airconditioner to her liking (when I had it off, all windows open) plop her butt on the couch and lay down to nap. Without even a hello to me in my own home.

Funny tho. My son is common-law married to a young woman. They've been together many years. But H told him he did not want them sleeping together when H's kids are here. My son did not argue it.

Pretty two faced tho. H and BM were never legally married. And it's not like SD17 is an innocent. She has made references that indicate her bf has been in her bed at BM's on a regular basis.

Elizabeth's picture

on a closed door. That's common courtesy. I agree, you have a right to ask this and DH should back you up. But of course I said should...

The only way I can keep SD16 from barging in is to lock doors. I was taking a bath a while back (BDs were at my mom's house) and I locked my bedroom door. Otherwise SD has been known to walk in while I am naked or changing my clothes. So she knocked on the door because she wanted something from me. Asked if she could come in and I told her no (because I was not dressed). I granted her request (to have a friend over). Then SD had the audacity to complain to DH that I should have let her come in, and he had the nerve to confront me about it. I was so pissed! Too bad I'd already let SD have her friend over, otherwise I would have told her to forget it.

ferretmom's picture

The next time your H is bitching about SD17 having to knock ask him how he would feel if she walked in and caught him naked. That might change his tune. If it doesn't then YUCK!!