I'm on a roll now....here's a copy for anyone whose interested in the email to SD17
SD17, we need to talk.
I don't know what your problem with me is, and don't particulary care at this point.
But the way you acted when you were here last time, before your father came home, is totally unacceptable.
You will not burst in the door screaming again. Next time, you can knock. TJ even knocks when he comes here.
You will not scream-(screaming I"M HUNGRY) within 5 minutes of being here. You are nearly 18 years old. Guess if you were that darned hungry you could've gotten yourself something to eat before you came.
And demanding WHO LEFT THESE OUT!!! (referring to the jello chessecakes on the table). DO YOU WANT THEM TO SPOIL.
Let me tell you something. This is my (and your dads) home. I will not have a 17 year old come in here and tell me what to do in my own home. If I want to leave something out, I don't need your permission. Neither does your father. Never again.
You never even said Hi. You never said-how are you. ALL you did was SCREAM about at the dogs, scream about being hungry scream about the jello cups. Then act all sweet when your dad arrived.
NO MORE. You don't have to like me. But when you are in my home you will treat me with decency and respect.
I've known you for a very long time-and love you because I remember the child you were. I go thru periods of thinking, ok, she's turned back around now and wants to get along. Then you act like this.
But, honestly, don't you think that at nearly 18, slamming in the door to beat your sister to the bathroom is pretty immature?
I have talked to your Dad about this. He knows what went on. He also knows I am emailing you about it. And it's not just about this one incident. It's about your treatment of me ever since your dad and I married.
I've tried to do everything I could for you-until I got the attitude. I had a birthday party for you. I let you get that car for 1/2 its value. I put you on my car insurance. I tried to make sure I fixed your favorite food when you came over. Tried to buy you cute things for Christmas. You've maybe noticed I don't do much of that anymore. Ever ask yourself why? Could it be because what I got in return for trying to make things as good as I could was worse than nothing?
And all I've heard about it is complaining. About the car. About the clothes. No thank you, nothing.
And I truly believe that at the age of adulthood, you know better. I notice you don't act like that when your Dad's around-you know better than that, SD17.
I told H I was sending her an email about her attitude towards me.
This is what I came up with. Of course, I had to soften what I really wanted to say.
So let the good times roll. After the garnishment this morning, I no longer care whether H or his are po'd at me. Nope. I've had enough.
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Comments
Good for you. I especially
Good for you.
I especially liked the part about how she doesn't have to like you - but she has to treat you decently. That is the step-parent/skid trick: always keeping a base level of respect. If you lose that...forget about it because it's damn hard to trust or like someone once you hate or dislike them, whether they're related to your OH or not. That's why it's so critical to keep things civil and respectful. Like and love - meh. Respect = necessity.
Gosh, my own mother said something similar when I was about 15 and it stuck with me. Hopefully it will for your sd.
-L
I hope it helps but I was
I hope it helps but I was hoping it said get the F out. You can pick up your crap on the street where I through all your, and your fathers belongings...
Good freaking bye.
I guess Im just an optimist.
That's for the next one, MSloan!
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
And actually it felt so good to say this-tho I did tone it down just because she is still a minor.
But the in your face rudeness is going to stop one way or the other. For instance-when she was over here, I offered her a soda.
Her response (plant a snotty tone of voice in your head for this one) was " YOU know I don't drink pop".
Um, in the first place, she had a root beer when she was here previously. In the second place, is that how you treat someone is offering you refreshment? No.
And that's just a small example of how things have been with her EVERYTIME I've seen her since we got married.
So, yeah, it's not just H I've got a lot of inner rage built up over. It's SD17 also.
Now SD14 is a different matter. I'll miss her sweet face when this is all over.
I actually think this email, put as decently as I could manage, will keep her away for a very very long time. SD17 doesn't like being called on anythingk, and I guarantee she's gonna hate me now!
Well you know
what I say!?!?! Let the HATIN begin.
Better to stand and be hated for something than to be disrespected and hated for nothing.
Just because one opens her legs twice, does not a mother make! ~ ME ~ }:-P
Is she still on your car insurance policy?
If so I would inform her that since she does not appreciate it, that you are removing her from your policy and it will be up to her to provide her own auto insurance.
JMHO.
Oh, Sasha-that coming! She will be 18 in May
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
and IF for some unknown and unlikely reason H still resides with me then, I'll be telling him it's time for her to step up to the plate.
She's already crying to "Daddy" over losing the text messages-she was supposed to be sending in the payment for her texting, but has not done so.
So here we are-H filed for unemployment for last week, but is actually getting 40 hours this week-and all his spoiled darling cares about is whether she will lose her texting.
Well, girlfriend, the big 18 is here-time to take some responsiblity instead of spending every dime she has on manicures and see thru shirts.
You know, it's too bad it took the IRS garnishment for me to
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
feel enough power to stand up for myself.
H is now-oh, I should've given you control of the finances from the beginning. We'd be so much better off. I'll never question you again blah blah blah.
Sure. Because HAD I KNOWN about his tax evasion, had I known about the financial mess on his house, I would never have married him in the first place and none of this would be my problem.
So he's kissing ass big time. too bad it really won't do him any good-he's simply said and done too much for me to just overlook it all.
Bewitched
Which state did you say you lived in?
Kansas-like Dorothy-I feel like I've been blown away from home
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
by the windy H and his um, spawn?