Need Advice!!! Sorry this is long
Well this all started day b4 Valentines Day. I told DH that his ex WOULD NOT interfere with this holiday as she does every other one..So me being stupid assumed that NOTHING would come our way this time. So yesterday I go check the mail and low and behold theres a medical bill for his SD, well Im by no means paying this 400.00 bill..So Im livid at this point why in the hell would she have this bill sent to our house..So I call BM and she was being TOOO nice to me..Phone rings so I answer
Me: Hello
BM: Oh hello Fubar the kids told me that you called and to hurry and call you back
Me: Yeah I did, I got a bill for YOUR daughter Lauren, she is no long on the insurance as you but I got the kids new card and will mail them all to you, because we arent paying this..
BM: Oh okay that fine with me,thanks for letting me know
Me: Notta problem, so how are the kids?
BM: They are good, they have been wanting to come over but cant get ahold of their dad, they called and talked to him a week ago and he said he had to work..
Me: I had no idea they called him, I will call him and see whats going on.
So I called DH and was like please tell me they are lying and they havent been calling you and you havent told me, NOOO says dear husband I havent talked to any of them since Christmas and havent talked to that bitch since last year when we picked the kids up..Given I did all the pick ups at Christmas..So now Im pissed someone is lying to me, and I dont like to be lied too..So DH calls SS 9 who btw Im also on the phone, so I can hear the conversation..
DH: Why are you guys saying you called and talked to me I havent talked to any of u since christmas
SS: Dad we did talk to you a week ago
DH: Why are you lying you know we havent talked since Christmas
SS: BECAUSE WE HAVE DAD
DH: Now dont get smart with me son, its one thing to be lying then get smart.NO thats not gonna fly
SS: Whatever dad we know what we did
At this point Im scratching my head thinking wtf you precious lil angels dont lie, and you even admit this so why would they lie now??? Well he still swears he didnt call, and starts mouthing off to me like Im the one who said he called..He starts screaming at me you dont ever effin trust or believe me, I never said anything just someone somewhere is lying..We have our sheduled home study Wednesday and court Mar 12..So maybe its just BM getting the kids to lie about their father, if so why he is nothing but nice to those kids..So the skids call my cell phone but their dad was home at this time so I let him handle it..They go back and forth again, and then want to spend the night and my dh has to work and says not tonight I have to work SS then hangs up on DH..So to keep DH from looking like an ass, I volunteer he take them to dinner with us and they went..They barely spoke at dinner his daughter and oldest son talked and smiled but the youngest NOTHING..And this kid used to adore both of us both now Im worried I dont know what is going on..But do you think a child will lie about their father whom they adore or is my husband lying....
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He has honestly
lied to me before about them calling/texting but admitted to it when I brought it up..Like when his ex texted him about his daughter who cut her head..He went in the other room text her back and then deleted that but didnt have the sense to delete what he sent..They just said he had to work and thats what he tells them when he has to work.. And that they called on a Friday or Saturday and he works those days and doesnt bring his work cell home anymore..He says his work doesnt allow it now..
You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
Sir Winston Churchill..
Were they recording this conversation?
It sounds like they were recording this, that they want to visit, etc., she doesn't mind receiving the bill, to possibly use against you somehow?
Does DH not want them to come? If not, just leave it alone, it is up to him to keep up relationship with his kids and not bring you into it? this doesn't make sense really, I think there is more you don't know yet?
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
She cant use
use the bill against us because its her daughter by another man not my DH, and I dont think they recorded it..There could be more to it but I dont know how to find out..Yes he wants to see his kids they just always want to visit on days he has to work, and I work also so we cant just not go to work and get them..We ask them on our days off do they want to visit they say no..I feel bad for not trusting him,but dont understand why EVERYONE says they talked to him but he denies it even in front of them.. The only reason I called about the bill is bc Im not paying to I pay for the majority of everything else why should I pay for a kid, who isnt his nor Ive never met..Im not doing it..
You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
Sir Winston Churchill..
oops
posted it twice
Check phone records
I think you could find out real quick whether he's lying or not by checking your phone bill - cell or house phone. You don't have to wait for a paper copy, you can register with your phone provider online and look at the recent calls on the number(s). Unless, of course, he made the call from his work phone, then you wouldn't be able to check. I check my DH's cell phone records regularly online. If you find a call within that specific time frame to the BM's number (or child's cell phone, etc., if they have one), then you'll have him nailed in a lie.
BTW
In my DH's divorce decree, it specifically states that he and his ex were to split the after-insurance co-pays 50/50. SHE did not do that...SHE put their son's medical bills in DH's name ONLY, not hers, using OUR address. This happened right after we married in 2002. We started getting bills from doctors for 100% of the co-pay. I read the Divorce Decree, and saw where it specifically stated he was liable for 50%, not 100%. I immediately fired off letters (snail mail, not email) to the various offices, telling them clearly DH's obligation, including DH's check for ONE HALF of the obligation, a copy of the divorce decree (with the order for 50% each highlighted in yellow), mailed it Certified Mail, Return Receipt Requested, AND included in the letter that the other 50% he was absolutely NOT liable for, and gave them BM's current home address and phone number to send the bill for the remaining 50% to. I made it clear in my letter than upon receipt/cashing of his check, his obligation for that particular bill was PAID IN FULL. I kept copies of the letters, and stapled the green return receipt card to them and filed them. I even had to do with with a collection agency - would you believe those idiots tried to argue with me stating HIS NAME IS ON THE BILL, HE OWES 100% when I called them - I flatly told them, READ THE DIVORCE DECREE THAT I SENT YOU AND HAVE PROOF YOU RECEIVED. They hung up and we never heard from them again. So please, read the divorce decree carefully - if it states that each parent has 50% liability for the children's medical coverage, your DH only owes half, NOT 100% and there is NOTHING BM can do to argue that!