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what to do with a SPOILED BRAT

sam's picture

So yesterday dh and i had an argument but he came and apoligized for the way he acted.So he asks me if me dh and ss could sit down and have a talk about whats been going on so i agree well that was a big mistake!!I sat there and poured my heart out to ss and dh sat there and told him he had to take the bus from now on to bms and back well ss sat there and said and i quote"Its unnecessary for me to take the bus i want you guys to drive me and pick me up"well our answer was no still and all he cared about was this stupid game thats 40.00 he wants cause hes bored!!Then i proceed to tell him that we were willing to help him get his drivers license and put him through driving school and he needs to get out and get a part time job well i will tell you what he said and i quote"Stop treating me like a fucking kid"His dad said nothing i told him to stop swearing that wasnt necessary.So it didnt go very well.So this morning i got up and did the dishes from dinner the night before so i did went upstairs to make the bed came back down and guess whats sitting on the counter more dishes so i told dh to tell ss to get out and do them because we wanted to have cereal but there were no clean bowls just 1 in the cupboard so dh sat down and had one and i went without because i wasnt washing the bowls.so dh didnt say anything to ss for about 2 hours so i went and told dh to tell ss that he needs to wash his dishes so he did and ss said yes but they are still siting on the counter and its almost dinner time now!!So i tell dh again and he gets pissed saying that i am trying to tell ss what to do and when to do it so that now is another argument between us and we arent talking right now.So the dishes will sit there until i do them!!

Comments

Endora's picture

Old is your SS-?

I more than feel your pain

Would it not be nice if someone wiped our butts 24/7?

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

sam's picture

is almost 17 5 more months

Endora's picture

About to incure the wrath of a 16 year old spoiled baby tomorrow-His Father is willing to "take the blame" for the natural consequences I have laid out for SS being a slob!

I want 10.00 an hour for picking up after SS16 Zippy! (great second job huh?)

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

sparky's picture

Dont do the dishes. If you need a clean one for yourself wash it only and let the rest go.

sparky's picture

He tells you to stop treating him like a kd and he acts like he is 8yo.

stepmom2one's picture

he is not 18 yrs yet. Stick to your guns, you waste to much time driving him. There is no reason he cannot take the bus.

Your H was just taking his anger out on you becuz SS just blows him off. H knows that you will listen to him, he needed to blow off steam. If I were you I would let the dishes sit for a weeks before I did them. Get some paper plates and bowls for yourself--hide them }:)

sam's picture

dh did the dishes last night and said nothing to ss and dh is still ignoring me do you think i should maybe go talk to a family member to help us sort this out?

stepmom2one's picture

for me anyway. Maybe there is a family member that can be objective that some influence over your H or SS? My H is wrapped around my MILs finger, luckly it is a good thing. She is very level headed and sees things clearly. So I rely on her to straighten out my H when I can't get through to him.

Its worth a shot, right?

Rags's picture

MILITARY SCHOOL! It worked for me, my brother and now my kid (SS-16). It is all about accountability and accountability works. If he leaves anything out of place he has some one up his ass instantly and constantly. If he continues to not comply with the rules he spends 100% of his free time walking in a big square in full uniform, hot, cold, rain, snow, sleet or hail.

Trust me, they have 100s of years of dealing with rude and belligerent little shit teens and they are very good at getting them on board with the program. The more the kid fights it the more miserable the kids gets until they finally learn that to participate and make the right decisions is the way to be happy.

Just my thoughts of course.

Best regards,

Rags's picture

Is it cheap? No. But, it can be far more affordable than one might think.

With the right school and access to some financial aid and scholarship programs it can be under $10K per year. A top quality school does not have to cost $40K per year which many of them do. My SS's costs no where near the top end.

We spoke to our son (my SS) last night and his Mom teared up while talking to him. She used to cry with frustration now she is tearing up with pride. He is thriving with the boarding/military school experience and has gone from a pudgy slouchy couch potatoe, dishonest (lying), lippy underperforming slacker to a trim, active, dedicated confident performing young man ........ in 6 short months.

Who is this kid and what did that place to with my Son? He is a now a pod people.

Best regards,

sam's picture

my dh would never do that to his little boy.

JMC's picture

JamaicanMeCrazy
DISNEY LIED...THERE IS NO 'HAPPILY EVER AFTER'

it would be a cold day in hell before he ever got that $40 game! Or before I would haul his happy ass back and forth to momma's house, at least until he learns some respect and gets a part-time job. What's with these kids who don't want to get a job these days?! Man, I couldn't wait to turn 16 to get a "real" job - I'd always worked doing something even before I turned 16 - mowing yards, babysitting, cleaning houses, washing cars or even walking dogs just to earn a few bucks. Sounds like DH is wimping out - he shouldn't be doing the brat's dishes and neither should you - in fact, it sounds like spoiled brat needs a few daily chores to help around the house.

Military school is a GREAT idea, unfortunately, it is very expensive - I checked it out in hopes of sending SD17 to one.

sam's picture

you are 100% right i moved out on my own at 17 and worked 2 jobs i even talked to my mil and she said i cant believe im taking that crap.