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Now BM is making accusations at me

missangie1978's picture

Submitted by missangie1978 on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 2:00pm

She states that she won't give us her address because everytime she does that I tell her domestically violent husband (who she's moved from and hasn't divorced yet).

Why is it that she blames me for this instead of DH? Not that either one of us gave her crazy husband her address but it just seems weird that I get blamed for everything. If DH sends her a letter she says that I wrote it, if she can't get hold of SS than she blames me for it.

What the heck is her problem?

Comments

Sia's picture

Submitted by Sia on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 2:02pm

you suck wind she will always have a problem with you!

frustratedinMA's picture

Submitted by frustratedinMA on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 2:15pm

I was going to say something very similiar. You are her scapegoat.. and as long as you are w/dh you will ALWAYS be her scapegoat.

Watch out.. she might start blaming you for getting pregnant w/your skids.. LOL.. My skids bm hasnt figured out a way to blame that one on me yet.. but I think she is working on it. I know she blames me for her life being as it is.. and I didnt meet my dh until she was already married w/dh #2.

Next time she blames you for something like this.. I would just think.. YEP.. she is coocoo

stepmom2one's picture

Submitted by stepmom2one on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 9:43pm

to me. If my H says it, she says I told him to. If he wrote it, I must have written it. It is easier to blame us becuz they don't have to deal with us directly. With my SD it is the same thing, her BM taught her well. When my H yells at her for disrespecting me she tells BM it was me. It really bothers me but I think it will always be this way, it is how they have learned to deal with their anger.

Sita Tara's picture

Submitted by Sita Tara on Thu, 02/05/2009 - 9:54pm

Last spring DH refused to let SD stay at a friend's house b/c he'd never been able to meet the BM or SF there. They were always "working" or "sleeping" and unavailable. It was BMs night to have SD, but she happily agreed with SD walking from our house to her friend's with no one even knowing where she was for sure b/c no one dropped her off. So DH took SD over there, no parent so he brought her back. SD storms up to her room and ripped up pictures of me, and broke a few gifts I gave her. I didn't even know DH was doing it. In the meantime I did an online search on a phone number I didn't recognize on the caller ID. It comes up with her friend's SF on it, their address, which suddenly I recognize as a sexually registered offender.

So...I tell DH this. He calls BM and tells her that he will bring SD over or she can come and get her but she's not staying there. He didn't yet share the SRO info yet.

So SD is furious the whole way over there. Her comment, "You've really changed since meeting HER dad, even MOM thinks so."

DH thought that was rather humorous which peeved SD. But you know? It must be handy to explain to people that you gave up custody of your daughter b/c his new wife lives to ruin your life. That your daughter cuts herself b/c she hates her SM. That you and your exh may have gotten back together, but his new wife manipulated him into staying with her. I'm sure the list goes on and on.

INTERESTINGLY...

BM did not say any of that to SD's shrink. She did say that the custody case was b/c DH wanted her back and wasn't happy with me. BUT when the Dr asked her how I treated her the few times I answered the phone or went to her door to get SD, BM said I seemed "ok." and polite.

So she does know somewhere in that crazy brain it's not me. Of course it doesn't stop the smear campaign to anyone who will listen.

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra