The problems will contine, perhaps get worse, and the children will not realize what the BM and themselves have done this until they are older, much older, like probably out of college or until the skids have children of their own.

By that time your relationship with your DH have probably been destroyed by both as well as your mental state. Totally NOT WORTH IT!

I don't have the problem of the skids hating me, only the BM which is fine by me.
I think it depends on the ages of the skids and how often you see them, if your DH supports you, if the skids disrespect you does you DH try to put a stop to it.

It's one things for the skids and BM not to like you but your DH is the one that will make all the difference with how you cope depending on how he is handling the situation and sticking up for you.

Its better for BM and skids if you leave, for now. Its better for you if you stay, in the long run. See what I mean, of course they will try to say its best for you to leave, so they can try to reel DH back in. You know? I mean you should consider the source of whoever gives you advice on this, and how does it benefit them. Ok, I am cynical but its true.

Lately I have been thinking that SD17 is wanting DH to come back to BM, so that SD will not be stuck supporting BM her whole life, like she is now. Like SD is realizing, wait, someone needs to get this woman off me so I can have a life! BM wanted divorce, she got it, so DH has no further obligation to BM, so too bad.

On the other hand, maybe one day you will be appreciated, etc., but I sincerely doubt any skid will really say that in my case, because that would be acknowledging the lack of effort on BM's part. So it all depends on who you ask and at what point! So just do what you want to do, and don't worry about anyone else's opinion

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin