I was a single parent to a bd (13) and was doing ok. I have not had to deal with xh for years when it came to her. I guess i was used to not having that drama.

Met and married a wonderful man who has a daughter 5. We all get along great so far.

Kids get along well, we get along well, no issues with out blended parenting.

BUT the BM is another story. Now that she found out we are married - she has done some crazy things to us.

Even taken sd to the counselor to get her to say we abuse her.

Our family would be a normal if the baby mama was not as crazy as hell......

18 years old when i had my son and believe me i grew up real fricken fast.My son was the center of my universe since the day he was born.I used to get comments all the time on how my son was always so happy and well taken care of.Unfortunately my ex husband did not want to grow up.But i must say now that he is a terrific father to our son.Anyways i was single working my butt off sometimes all day and night just to afford things we needed.I met my dh and he swept me off my feet.Despite the issues we have with his ex and kids we do love eachother very much so i would have to say that the only thing i would change is knowing in the beginning what i know now regarding the ex witch and standing up to her alot sooner than i did.

I feel the same every single day..No, I had no idea what I was getting myself into...I think I watched to much Brady Bunch as a kid..LOL..

In a perfect world their would be retroactive abortion capabilities. ~ disgusted

And I include him in the mix. Because we talked about it long and hard a lot before we did this.

We both consider ourselves to be resonably intelligent people. College-educated. I'm a teacher, too (Hi, KK!) so I KNOW kids. And I pretty much raised my two boys on my own even when I WAS married to my no-good ex.

But we still talked about our "plan" for blending our families. We read books- a lot of them! We followed what the so-called 'experts' advised us to do.

We even got the book entitled, "How to Deal with a Difficult Ex"...

But man, oh man, put 5 teenagers together under one roof, including two with serious mental health issues(one of which we can't get adequate professional help for because her BM sabotages it), throw into that mix a crazy BM who constantly "stirs the pot", and you just got yourself a nice recipe for "What the Freak Did I get myself Into" Stew!

Anyone care for seconds? Not me!

"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"

and I didn't know if I would make it at first. Mainly because of the BM. But I stuck it out and it's great now! The SK's are great......my bio son loves my husband and vice versa, and we have a daughter together who is now 18 months! It's turned out alot better than I thought it would. I thought for sure we wouldn't make it.

I've learned how to be much more patient.

I've learned how to deal with my jealousy, I'm green and admit it!

I've learned that I can love someonelses kids, almost, as much as I do my own.

I've learned how to be more compassionate.

I've definaltey learned how to stretch a buck!

And lots more.........I'm glad I went down this shocking, scarey, hurtful, loving, wonderful, amazing road!

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

like this. I knew SD17 was nearly grown; thought she would be no problem (except for maybe running around too much, boys, and maybe a few problems with underage drinking).

I thought H married me because he loved me and knew I was a good woman.

Guess I should quit thinking...

But I was really thinking about SD. I was so concerned about not wanting to intrude on her relationship with her dad, wanting to set the stage for a good, respectful relationship with her myself, all those things.

And as everything else in my life that I care about and put thought and energy into, I have a great relationship with SD to show for my efforts. She is a wonderful kid, and I'm so pleased to have her in my life.

But at no point did I think about the BM. I just wrote it off as a fellow adult who would naturally want the best for their child and want to support the changing dynamics of the situation. Wow was I wrong on that one. I didn't ever consider the idea that I would be dealing with someone who is an emotional child, who puts her moods and wants over everyone else, especially her child.

This has been my biggest surprise, and my biggest disappointment in the whole situation. I try to see good in people as much as I can, but there's really nothing good I can say about this woman. I am trying to take the high road that others are trying to take and just say she's not well, as no one in their right mind could be as mean, nasty and hurtful to others, but more than anything, to children, as she is....

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

i never anticipated all the issues and problems we have had w BM2. BM1 is not a huge part of my SS's life and he is old enough so that when she does decide to pick him up, she just calls him. she has no role in any decisions regarding the upbringing of him.

BM2 has caused more problems than i ever imagined. i knew the type of person she was from what DH told me, but she SAID she was glad he broke up w her and that it was the best thing that ever happened to her (*eyeroll*) and i never expected her to take anything out on me. its not my fault the way her life turned out and that her plan to trap DH failed. she hates me just bc im living the life she tried to force on him.

i thought that all she would care about is if her child liked me and i was good to her when in fact, she is even more bothered by this and has gone out of her way to lie and poison my relationship w her. i never expected the court battles, all the MONEY she collects via her CS paycheck, all the drama, fights, harassment...i never expected that the first 8 months i lived here would be a living hell thanks to her. i never expected to be so resentful of the situation, but i know its bc of BM and her actions...its just made it all worse.

thank god i have a supportive DH who puts our marriage first, lets me know that i stand at #1, doesnt guilt parent or overindulge and isnt bent on keeping BM happy and catering to her every whim. when we've had problems, hes taken the steps necessary to correct them. so hes a dream and makes it all worth it.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

I got pregnant at 17 and had my son at right when I turned 18 and I raised him by myself and even though it was hard I never "gave up" like some other parents we have read about on here. It was my son I gave birth to him he was my responsibility - how did I know his dad was going to turn out to be a first class good for nothing loser? When we dated in high school he was Mr. Superstar. Anyways I have had b/f's and have been engaged 5 times, gone out with a few guys with kids, etc., and nothing prepared me the dreaded BM. And trust me I went through a lot of crazy stuff and crazy people. Never in my entire life could prepare me for the evilness of that woman, the manipulation, the games, the stories, the jedi-like mind control she used to have over my FH, etc. I love my FH and I LIKE my SD but if the BM dropped off the face of the earth I would probably go to sleep with a big smile on my face everynight...

I just rented it today - I am not working this week so I am catching up on movies and I almost peed myself laughing when she came on. I'm going to make a BM dart board!