Holiday Report
I know I was saying "somebody please shoot me" regarding this trip - yep, insanity. Even with people changing schedules and making alternate arrangements, we have 9 people and 2 dogs in a small 3-br house. For the big shindig Christmas day, it swelled to 17, including Niece (18, snotty, rude, knows everything) Oldest Brother-in-Law (claimed he wouldn't talk politics, and then spent hours bestowing his arrogant racist right-wing nutjob opinion on us while getting plastered) OBIL's son and his wife (Nephew looked me up and down in front of his wife - it skeeved me out) and 3 of 4 of Youngest SIL's boys - the youngest two were beating on each other all day. I've just wanted to cry, and DH and I have spent a lot of time hiding out in the guest room.
SD has been an angel behavior-wise in spite of her nasty cousin's example. She says please and thank you, compliments the cooking, and shows not a single sign of disrespect or poutiness, even though I'm sure it's boring as heck being the only one under the age of 18. She left brownies and fudge and milk for "Santa AKA Dad" and told him to share.
But I just realized from Dani's post about buying for BM - SD didn't get DH anything for Christmas, or his birthday, which is kinda tough to separate out since it's the same day. She had $5 to throw in toward fireworks earlier in the week, but not a dime for her dad. I didn't get anything either, but I don't want or expect anything. I'm not sure if she gets an allowance; but if she does, I've noticed she spends what she's got the second it hits her hands anyway. She was making noises about getting me something for Christmas, (which DH was expected to pay for) but we told her we'd rather have something homemade - I'm guessing that in her stb13 mind, the color-with-markers-on-velvet project she wanted at the craft store counted. I'm horribly disappointed, and I'm not sure what to say, if anything. DH is disengaging from his own kid now - this didn't surprise him one bit.
And of course, BM had to stick her nose into it. The plan was to drop SD off on Saturday at an agreed location (not her house). BM called last night as we were heading into a movie (Valkyrie - good, if you like WWII flicks) asking if we would drive out to the meeting spot less than 16 hours later. DH told her we were going into the movie theater and asked her to see if there were any alternatives - he'd call when we got out and he had a chance to talk to me or SD. By the time he called her back, the plan was back to the original. I don't think BM has realized that DH has grown a spine, and expects him to roll over at her whim. He is the first she will try to inconvenience - when he balked she realized that he could be a complete ass and make her drive all day on Saturday, so better get her ducks in a row before she ends up embarrassing herself in front of her husband's family.
We go home tomorrow. I am soooo looking forward to getting home with my pups and DH.
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Comments
Glad to hear
your SD has good manners in talking at least! Our SD used to give gifts but stopped, which is weird because she is working now, but yes, it is very hurtful, especially since your DH has 2 celebrations in the same day. I know you will be glad to have this over with and get home. Congrats on standing up to BM wish-washiness!!
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
Well, I guess
it's good that SD behaved! I know it hurts with the gift giving thing, but at that age...that's what they do.....be completely self absorbed. Not that it is OK. I have NEVER gotten a gift from the skids that DH didn't buy, but I don't care....I would rather it come from the heart than be forced.