I am so pissed. H seems to think MY house is HIS hotel!
Just got off the phone with DH (thanks again, 5teens). He had asked me earlier today if I new when my son is coming for Christmas-I'm not sure, but I think Christmas Eve.
So I asked him about the sd's. Oh, he said, they would be here Christmas Day. Then he said his mom would like to come too.
Ok. That's all fine, right? His mom is 30 miles away in a nursing home, his daughters are 30 miles away in another direction.
So, tonite he tells me he would like his mother to stay the nite. And his daughters! WTF!!!
This is a small old house. You walk in to the living room-our bedroom is off to the side. Then there's the bathroom, kitchen & a second bedroom. Downstairs, we finished one bedroom, there is no bathroom. The rest of the basement is unfinished.
H's mother would have to take the upstairs bedroom, as she can no way get down the stairs.
So what he has planned is my son downstairs,( no problem) his mother in the spare bedroom upstairs, and his darlings on the couch and a trundle in the living room. How stupid is he???? How damned dumb is that? THEY LIVE 30 MINUTES AWAY....
As usual I am so pissed. So I told him, well, we'll just have to get a motel room for someone...this house is too small for that many people. I even suggested my son be the one to stay in the motel. But that pissed him off too. He works too hard for his money to have to spend it on a motel room.
The shoulders are getting so tight I can hardly move.
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oh my
it is so hard to have so many people in a small home...Tention....If i where you i would suggest that the mother stay home or someone is gonna have t stay in a hotel...If she is elderly its not safe to be going up and down stairs...Holidays are so stressful and they shouldnt be..Its good to have the family together, but not to stay
Is it just one night? I went
Is it just one night? I went through 2 nights, almost 3 if we hadn't left early, at Thanksgiving. 9 people in a tiny 3 bedroom house. It was nice and cozy! (insert sarcasm) SS lives 10 min from there. But no way was I going to suggest he not stay the night. One other person also lived 1 hr away. So we had me, DH & BS 6 months in one small room, DH's brother & SO in one room, MIL & grandma in the last room, & SS, my son, & an aunt in the living room (my son on an air mattress I had brought, SS on the floor and the aunt on the couch) It was absolutely ridiculous.
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
He just called back-he's going to get a cabin in the mountains
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
for him his mom and his girls. My son and I can come along if we want.
All because I said this house is too small for all those people to spend the night? When his daughters live 30 miles away and SD17 has a car????!!! WTF I am so mad.
He can take his precious darlins and mommy and go to you know where for all I care. Oh, wouldn't it be a wonderful Christmas, my son and I in a cabin with those leeches. Plus H knows my sister and her husband are coming to stay w/my parents...
F'em.
BW- the insults from him just NEVER stop, do they?
"He's going to get a cabin in the mountains for him, his mom, and his girls. My son and I can come along if we want."
I'd tell him, "Thanks, but no thanks. Take your entire dysfunctional brood to the mountains. My son and I will say here with MY FAMILY!"
Maybe they'll all get eaten by a bear up in the mountains and your Christmas wish will come true!
And I'm glad you can now be happy finally referring to him as "DH"- I bet you'll smile every time you type that now
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
calling 5teens!!!!
gas up the RV...it is time to start the whoop ass world tour! i'll see ya friday
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Don't forget to pick
me up! I have some anger issues I'd like to deal with.....hahahaha
So he'll spend HIS money on
So he'll spend HIS money on a cabin but not a hotel room? Well that makes perfect sense! Moron.
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
I would say.. that is
I would say.. that is great.. you guys have a great time. Son and I will stay here and have an actual relaxing holly jolly christmas.. AND THEN ENJOY THE FREEDOM!!!
what a MAROON
I say let him rot in his cabin getaway.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
Thank you 5teens for saying
Thank you 5teens for saying exactly what I was just about to write.
BW - Did this even surprise you. How the hell you control yourself from not killing this man I have no idea and applaud you for it.
The following is a prayer just for you hun ;).
A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom To understand a man, I pray for Love and to forgive him, and for patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
I say stuff it and just beat him to death, at least it would be enjoyable.
LMAO, Dani!
That's my new favorite prayer- does it work for teenage SDs too?
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
I just can't take the garbage anymore...everything....he calls
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
back yet again to tell me I'm not going to tell him what to do with his money that he works for (meaning the cabins).
We've made plans all along to have Christmas here. Never heard a word about his Mom staying here, never a word about his D's (thought maybe sharing the basement room over Thanksgiving cooled them on that).
Fast is, again, tiny house. Boy, wouldn't that be fun-1 bathroom, 6 people, one who is disabled. Oh, and our bedroom doesn't have a door on it. It used to be a "sitting room" and has an arched doorway, so, no door. And he wants his precious darlings sleeping in the living room. The little tiny living room. Instead of the common sense thing to have them drive home at nite. Hell, they could drive back in the morning-it's not like they have a full schedule.
I hate 'im.
Oooh that $$$ line burns me up!
After he told you to quit your job so you don't have ANY of YOUR own money, he has the nerve to tell you you can't tell him how to spend his. That's a lovely attitude.
I'd damn sure tell him what he can do with his money. He can shove it up his A$$!
While he's in the cabin, change the locks and throw all of his and his poopsie princess' crap out on the lawn.
I know, right?! What a
I know, right?! What a convienent attitude! I wouls say once he made you quit your job, he no longer had his own money!
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
Of course you can use it for SD
I have a better one for you.
Do you wear a wedding ring? If so wear it on the wrong finger when DH is around and say the following line…
H says "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
You Say "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
I can't wait to use that one on my BF. I just have to wait for the ring first.
:) Thanks Dani-didn't think I could laff tonite-but yu did it
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
again. Love that one!!!
(will gladly use it...it's true)
Your DH really makes me want to gag!
B! I would tell him to go enjoy his cabin with his family and you and your son, sibling, and parents enjoy a nice drama free xmas together. I don't even know what else to say he is so self-centered and arrogant!!!!
A cabin?
So he's going to get a cabin, huh?
Good. Tell him to stay there.
Now where did I put those Ugg boots....
Oh, I'm sure that was just a threat-and I'm sure he wants me to
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
beg him not to, oh, please, hunny darlin you and yours are the only ones that count and big deal if we're all uncomfortable just so you and your darlins' have everything the way you want it everytime all the time. my son and I will just sit back and let you have the house-would you like us to go sleep in the car or on the curb.
sorry. I am very very upset. If I could only land a job...I'd file the very next day. I am so sick of this garbage.
Bewitched
From now until Christmas, you just need to keep asking him:
Did you get the cabin yet?
What day are you leaving?
Do you need anything from the store for your trip?
Do you need some diapers for your mother?
Honestly, if I were you I would be planning Christmas dinner with my parents and my son.
Let H worry about entertaining his SD's and handicapped mother.
Perfect
all under the guise of kindness, b/c you just want to make sure you have all their presents in time, that you can of course plan meals for them if necessary before they go, hell, make them a nice picnic basket for the road (we want the bears to be well fed!) Tell him you think this is a fabulous idea!
seriously, this could be the best thing that could have happened. Now you and your son can get a taste of what life will be like after you move on, and I bet it will be very refreshing!!!
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein
Melis-here's how it goes-he can spend money on a cabin
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
because if we got a motel room for a nite here, my son would probably be the one using it (because he certainly wouldn't want his d's off in a motel room on Christmas nite, now would he).
If he got a cabin, he and his girls would be using it. No way would his mom-she wouldn't be up to the trip. Just more of everything for him & his....
Pray for me, please
Call his bluff. Since he &
Call his bluff. Since he & his daughters won't be there you can go ahead & start making your own plans with your son & your family. Just be thrilled, tell him you're fine with it & its better that he does that so everyones not cramped. Just keep acting like you believe thats what he's really going to do, act fine with it & make your own plans, then stick to them! Maybe he'll learn not to talk out of his ass next time & to not say something he doesn't really mean.
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
Vick.. no offense, but I
Vick.. no offense, but I dont think she should give him the house. I think that would set a bad trend of things to come. He already acts like its his house.. and its not... I think abandoning your own house, would create a problem in the future when she goes to divorce him.\
FYI, BW
I told my H that "...you can come, too, Kitty" would
be the LAST STRAW this Christmas. IN NO WAY should
a MARRIED MAN being making PLANS with ANYONE ELSE
and then invite his "wife" to "join them"
NO NO NO!!
HUSBAND AND WIFE make plans...invite other members
to join THEM. No exceptions.
I think I may have mentioned it, but my H actually
told me that NEXT THANKSGIVING, he will go with me
to FLORIDA and blow off his family....problem is,
I'm hoping to join some of my new ST buddies in FLA
next Thanksgiving, so now I don't even know if
I want him to go...
I agree with everyone else here....tell him to shove
his cabin up his hiney and stuff the rest of his
dysfunctional crew up there with him!!
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt
yeah im w u there KK
last straw is rite...NO FLIPPIN WAY!!!!!!!
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
OMG, OMG, OMG is all I can
OMG, OMG, OMG is all I can say about this situation. I would beat the ever loving crap out of this man for you if I could. He is incorrigible!! I agree with the ladies here and would totally call his bluff. Tell him it's a great idea and make pland to celebrate with your son, parents and sister - to hell with him and his "family".
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
here here...SSM
I agree! BW...you need to just kick that man to the curb and move in with your parents!
Huge fight-again! Being yelled at all morning long
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
H on the phone-for 3 hours this morning-yelling, screaming at me-how I don't like precious SD17-how SHE shouldn't have to help on Thanksgiving with the dishes because he feels so sorry for her because she has to give her little sisters rides all week to school, or wherever else they need to go. How SHE needs down time. How HE is not going to correct his daughters when they are here because He only gets to see them so seldom and he's not going to be mean! (excuse me, where is telling her to go to bed if she's sleeping on the couch mean? where is telling her to help with the dishes mean?)
Wish me luck-going to go apply for a job as a front desk clerk at a local motel. Pray for me!
wtf????
Poor Poor Poopsie,
I didn't even have a car at 17 years of age and I had a one year old child of my own at the time!!! Something about Poopsie tells me that she didn't work to earn the money to buy that car for herself..Driving her siblings around is the least she could freakin do!! Your hubby nauseates me as much as mine does!!
Sheesh...
In a perfect world their would be retroactive abortion capabilities.
Tell him to have xmas at his
Tell him to have xmas at his apartment wherever it is that he is M- F.
I would change the locks and put his sh*t out on the lawn.
Next.. I would find any gold that you own, and if your not attached to it. sell it for cash. Gold buybacks are good nowadays..
Where does your son live? Find out if there are any jobs around him... Then apply there.. if you get one of those.. MOVE.. sell the house or rent it out...
Oh.. could you advertise for a roommate, if you choose to stay w/the house? Get a roommate to cover most of the costs.. give them that bedroom up in the attic. Put a door on your room.. and get DH out of your life.
I would give him divorce papers as an xmas gift!
Amen
sista!!!!!
I like that roommate idea
I like that roommate idea once you get a job! www.roommates.com, thats what I used when I kicked my exH out! Thank god I have a 4 bedroom house, and me & my son only took up two of them! I rented the other 2 out & that covered my mortgage!
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
Good luck on the interview!
Keepin' my fingers crossed for ya!
I suppose your H wants SD to be treated as part of the family, to have all the perks but none of the responsibilities? And yeah, I can see how tiring it would be to drive her sisters around...that's just sooo hard :sick:
I guess that's his excuse too as to why he can sit around on his duff and not help either: he works so hard and needs the down time. What--preparing a big dinner is not work? Housework is not work? Where is YOUR downtime?
Sorry, but in my house everyone pitches in to clean up. He desperately needs a wake-up call. I agree you need to change the locks when he is gone and throw his stuff out on the yard. Better yet, pack it up and drop it off at SD's house then call him and tell him where he can collect his stuff.
Well, gals, got the application filled out and turned in
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
It's working at nite, which is fine. I could put a roomate in the exra bedroom if I have to.
H of course is already backing down on the cabin thing-I don't really care what he does at this point. Can't stay at my parents place as my sis & her husband will be staying there.
All of this because I suggested 2 solutions 1-his d's drive home a whole 30 miles Christmas nite or 2-we rent a motel room for my son.
As soon as I know if I have this job, I'll be talking to an attorney. I'm sure it won't pay enough to cover my bills, but if I could rent a room, I'd be ok.
Anything is better than this insanity. H thinks he's done me such a huge favor by having me quit by job when we got married-now it uses it in a weapon everyday.
And job or no job, I'll be damned if I'm going to be treated like a cook, bottlewasher and maid for his SD17. Funny thing is, he tells me he sees so little of them that he wants it all to be fun and games when they're here. but he sees me just about as seldom-and he's happy for me to be working my a$$ off when he's here, for him and his darlins'.
You gals can all pretty much write this one off as a loss, and I hope anyone contemplating marrying someone with children, can learn from my terrible mistake.
wishing you the best of luck bewitched
seriously, I hope you will get the best of news very soon, and really can give him the divorce papers for christmas.
And the part about him being okay with you working your a$$ off while she is there, you know, I thought exactly that when I read your post about this, that and "he tells me he sees so little of them that he wants it all to be fun and games when they're here." I think you just permanently DEFINED disneyland dad syndrome...
ugh, seriously hope the end is near for you with all this bewitched, you deserve so much more....
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein
Good Luck To You ~
Good luck, hope you get the job! I'm in agreement with everyone else. Get the divorce papers drawn up, serve them to him Christmas Day as a present, throw his crap out on the lawn, and CHANGE THE LOCKS!
I can't wait to read the post when you've said that you've kicked him out of your life once and for all. I'm pulling for you!
I think you
should wait until XMAS Day and kick them all out once you have him served on XMAS day. That would be revenge! His mom, and the 2 girls and him out on the lawn and you and your son inside looking out the window waving BYE BYE.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed on the job. And I think renting out the room would be good too. Put it on Craigs list, they have rentals and it costs nothing. I'd be selling gold, and anything else I could get my hands on...just to get enough $ to kick him to the curb!
Good luck.
These
very stupid people (men in this case) that HAVE NOTHING, walk into a woman's home and think they can rule. WTF?
That is why pre-nups are essential in these cases.
My dh's son wanted to come "live with us" (at 24 years old). My dh didn't even have to ask me. He told his son, "you know, it is her house". I made it PERFECTLY CLEAR I wanted none of that------------------he knew perfectly well BEFORE we married how my home would remain QUIET AND CALM.